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Another year gone forever... Unless I get Bob From the Future to take me back to relive the whole thing sometime. It wasn't a bad year. Got Lasik done. Jumped out of a plane. Punched Donald Trump in the face. Good times.
So, for the year-ending update, I give you a Kimi ga Nozomu Eien Anime Review and Rating, a new loserfied short story that really blows, The Final Fight, and a new Holidaytastic Daily that mentions dead dogs and Tootie. And just remember that there's a Festive Christmas Poem here, and an Examiner Article About Santa here, from years past. Merry fucking Christmas! And with that, I am outta here.
Talk about a highway to the dangerzone... My Area 88 (TV) Review and Rating is now up. And, thanks to Peter Jackson, a new Middle Earthed Daily is up for your viewing pleasure. Your preciousssss pleasure. Damn those Noldor.... Blood is on their hands.
I was originally going to post a Daily and just the first page my newest Examiner piece today, but nothing really happened to me this week to warrant a Daily log of it. So instead, here's BOTH pages of The Makings of an Uber-Week for your reading pleazure. I'm sure you'll looooooooove it and want to marry it. Chaka Kahn!
Not much today, as I've really only been back at my computer since Monday night. Fuck off. There is a Thankful Daily for you, but nothing more. Hopefully next week will be an Examiner article about the makings of an UBER-WEEK. We shall see. Go now, and eat that last turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce sandwich. Do it for the pilgrims.
Okay, here's a quicky NESticision about Animal Rights, a poetic Rossman Ramblin' About Turkey Day, and a terrifying Daily. Nothing new next week as it is a planned and secretive "UBER-WEEK." I will probably write about it once I recover, but it will be scary. And, well.... No update next week. That is all.
Wow, lots of shit going on in the world this week. Fallujah, Iraq, is a heavy battle ground again, Arafat is finally dead, and some fucktard mom is trying to get stickers placed inside BIOLOGY books in her son's PUBLIC school that say "The theory of evolution is unproven and just one possible way that man was created." WTF?!? I went to Catholic school for something like 11 years of my life (counting kindergarten) and even WE were taught EVOLUTION! I remember some little old nuns telling us that "The story of Adam and Eve in the Bible is merely a parable. Like the stories that Jesus told his followers. It isn't real." (Which then made me wonder about all the stories about Jesus if the first half of that book were fake, but I digress.)
Jezus H Fucking Christ! Well, in honor of retarded Bible fuckers everywhere, I have placed an old Vocal Vomit at the top of that page for your rereading pleasure. Also, a Godly New "Daily Rossman" and a Marvel 1602 Comic Booky Review and Rating. Who loves ya, baby!
Okay, maggots, the election is over. GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES and DEAL with the results. To those of you who planned to move to Canada after Bush won again: Bon voyage. Seeya. Adios. To help the rest of you move on, here's a brandy new "How To" I've made up: How To Be An Asshole. Read it, live it, be it. Oh, and a new Trick Or Treating Daily. Boom chacka lacka lacka BOOM!
Couple of things today. First of all, the FUNNIEST goddamn movie ever made was finally released on DVD yesterday. Yes, I speak of Brain Donors. You must buy this shit. Roland T. Flakvizer is the greatest comic character since Groucho Marx. You WILL piss yourself from laughing too hard with all the verbal slapstick flying around. I've seen this movie over 60 times, since its initial release on VHS over ten years ago, and I am still finding new things in it to make me laugh that I never noticed before. BUY IT. Trust me. And thank you, Adam, for originally making ME watch it way back when.
Okay, on with the show. Got a new political NESticision for you all about the 2004 Presidential Election which is honest to God based on a conversation that occured right outside of my office last week. Think about that while you read it. What's also amazing about this NESticision is that the debaters actually stay on topic the whole way through. Wow. Then there's a new D.N.Angel Anime Review. "And always remember, nobody likes you!"
My eyes hurt like Hell just staring at my computer monitor all day... So only one update this week. There should be an Electoral NESticision next week, but until then here's a new LASIK Surgery Review and Rating. I'm going to close my eyes for a few hours now after I drop in about 25 prescription eyedrops.
Team America is fucking awesome. No review for it 'cause all I'd do is say "Team America is fucking awesome" over and over again. Whatever. On a similar note, Aim for the Top 2 ("Die Buster"?!?) is terrible. Absolutely terrible. It is the poster child for anime-abortion. This better be set in an alternative universe or Gainax will pay. In blood. But for now here's a Birthday Fun Daily, a Fullmetal Alchemist Anime Review, and the final part of the Penultimate Guide to Anime (you have to go through page one to get to two). America, FUCK YEAH!
Wow! It's already October. That kind of sucks. I don't think I really planned to do much this year, but now it's almost over and I find I haven't really done jack squat yet. I didn't go on any kind of vacation this year, and I most certainly didn't ninja-bang Nicole Kidman either... What a wasted year 2004 is turning out to be. Well, to make up for that, there are FOUR updates today. Yeah, I don't want to believe it either. First up there's a quicky Vocal Vomit, then a Random Daily, a Ninja Filled Azumi Movie Review, and finally Part One of The Rossman's Penultimate Guide to Anime... Shit, maybe this is why I never bagged Nicole yet. I waste my time on too many re-re things.
Okay, this hurricane shit is getting old. That's number three in the past month. I shit on you, Hurricane Season! Suck my big white cockandballs! To follow that up I present you with a Popotan Anime Review, and an Anime Weekend Atlanta Shitty Daily. Watch out!
Yay for hurricanes! They give me days off of work and no property damage! They must be magical storms from Fairy Fart Land... I'm rambling, but I'm still happy. First of all, that whole "hurricane got me some time off of work" thingy. That's cool. Second of all, Mr. Show Season 4 came out on DVD yesterday! It's about fucking time! Jesus! I almost died! Anyway, they removed Luke's scream from Empire and kind of fixed (though not really) the "Greedo shooting first" thing in A New Hope... So I got the Star Wars DVDs too... God, I am such a SW whore. But whatever, just read my Stormy Daily or check out my Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Hyper Movie Review.
What the FUCK?! Here's the most FUCKED UP Anime Review and Rating I think I'll ever write. Well, not the most fucked up thing I'll personally ever write, but the most fucked up thing I'll write ABOUT. I'm talking about my Midori no Hibi (Midori's Days) Anime Review. Just go in with no expectations. Wow. Also, here's a new Presidential Daily. Now, all I have left to do this week is hold out for Sky Captain. My God, it will be glorious!!
Labor Day is done. Summer is over. Fuck Summer. Stupid gay Summer. Bah! Here's a Heroic Asian Movie Review for you. Jet Li is a GOD. Oh, new Hurricane-riffic Daily too. Joy.
Sigh... The Olympics are over, but here's a new MASSIVE Olympic Examiner piece all about the power of international sportsmanship and really faggy crap-games. And a new Hate E-mail! Yay!!!
Yay! I'm sick! I'm fucking sicker than a dog! A dog who just ate bad pork!... Now I'm thinking about bad pork and am even sicker still... Fuck! Just read an Olympic Styled Daily or read all about Paranoia Agent in my Anime Review I just finished. I'm going over there now to puke some more. Yay!!
AVP! AVP! AVP!!!.... Suxored. Do not, I repeat, do NOT go see it. Just download some Suicide Girls pr0n or something instead. It'll be more disgustingly violent, and you'll get to see titties. A new Alien Vs Predator (AVP) Movie Review for you. Oh, and a new Movie Hopping Daily! Yay for free stuff!
Dogshit and warrior nuns. That sums up my week. I got The
Best of Triumph on DVD, so that'll at least keep me
laughing tonight... But is it enough?.... In case it isn't for
you, here's a quick Robotic
Rampaging Daily, and a Chrno
Crusade Anime Review. *Sigh*... Why do I even bother.
Finally, got my experiences skydiving up. I was going to
do a "How To Skydive" page, but that was turning into
something really lame. Even too lame for this site. Fuck it.
So, here's a Skydiving Review
and Rating for you, and two new Haikus
to ponder. Let them alter your mind.
Holy SHIT!! The first season of the greatest (read GREATEST)
TV show of all time is now out on DVD! SLEDGE HAMMER!
Fucking go out and buy it NOWWWWW!!! Then laugh your ass off
for 22 episodes of nonstop awesome-isity! Then come back and
read my Battle Athletes
& Battle Athletes Victory Anime Review, and the newest
Police Chase Filled
I finally got a nice and relaxing weekend all to myself
and... Well, absolutely nothing. It was very pleasant. So in
honor of my do-nothing weekend I present to you a Full
Metal Panic and Fumoffu Anime Review and a couple more Vocal
Vomits. Don't question them, just accept them. They are
gifts from me to you. Gloriously worded gifts.
Insomnia blows lion pee-pee. No, not the show Insomniac,
just the actual medical condition. Three nights in a row, less
than 2 hours sleep. I tried everything too. Warm milk, pr0n,
reading technical manuals (they actually make sense when you're
wide awake... Interesting), pr0n, and counting sheep. Then I
just started working on shit for the site, and well, here's
a Planetes Anime Review,
and an Anchoriffic Daily.
I had a pretty good weekend (which followed a shitty week,
but that's neither here nor there). Saw Spidey 2
twice, ate lots of food, went to a social gathering in which
people didn't run in fear of my presence, saw some family I
hadn't seen in a while, and got a tan. Ahhhhhhh. So here's a
and a quick couple of Vocal
I jumped, I lived, I laughed (once I stopped crying like
a little girl). Good times, amigo. Plus I finally saw the opening
to Imagawa's new reinvention of Tetsujin 28,
thanks to Team Greenwood. Now, you can quote me on this, I will
state for the world that Director Imagawa WILL turn this Gigantor
show into a direct prequel for Giant Robo.
I will stake my life on it (which I already did by getting thrown
out of a plane this weekend). Anyway, here's a Shaolin
Soccer Hong Kongy Movie Review for you. Also, a quick Email
and Response just because. Enjoy!
Just in case you were wondering how the trip finished, I
finally got Page 5 of my
New England Travelogue up. Live the excitement, all over
again for the very first time! Now, if there isn't an update
to the site next Wednesday (when the updates usually come out,
cracker), it's because my premiere skydiving experience went
horribly horribly wrong. But at least I got my Travelogue done.
I feel complete.
Here's a review of something a lot of you should just run
out and buy right now. You'll love me for it, trust me. It's
my Optimus Prime Transformer
Review and Rating! Ooooooh yeah. There's also a fresh new
Six Flagstastic Daily,
but who cares. Optimus fucking Prime!!!!
This is how much I love all you little bastards out there.
I barely had any free time this past week but I still managed
to get a new Maburaho Anime
Review and Rating done, along with two new Examiner
Pages from my most recent year old travelogue. Now, you
better put out tonight.
Goodbye, Gipper. We'll do our best to win one for you.
As for updates, how does a fresh new Potter
Daily do ya? And the first two pages of the newest Examiner
Piece: There And Back Again - A Rossman's Travelogue. Do
it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Ahhhhh, another June. Another summer. Another less Spring
closer to my ultimate ending. Life sucks, then you die. But
before then, here's a new Chobits
Anime Review. Yeah, just one update this week. Sue me. IT'S
FREE FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT. Accept it.
Holy Christ! It's already the end of May and I've yet to
make any New Years' resolutions!! Maybe I'll just say "I
won't kill any more neighborhood dogs this year"... But
that's not really something I can promise. So here's a new Dreamscape-filled
Daily and a Combustible
Campus Guardress Anime Review that will BLOW YOUR MIND.
I know I have a Review and Rating for you... Just can't remember
what it's of... Well, there's a new Spy-riffic
Daily for you to ponder
at the very least. Oh man, this is really gonna bug me now. I could just
go look it up, but then I'd feel stupid. It wasn't an anime... It wasn't
a hentai game... It wasn't any dog show or birthday party... Though that
last one is a pretty good idea for one. Oh wait! It was a Hong
Kong Movie Review of God of Cookery starring Stephen Chow! Booyah! Damn, I'm good.
Booooooy howdy! Another full week. I finally got Malcolm
Z's Rossman Peoples Page up and running. Scary. What's even scarier
is that I had to do it as he held the electric hedge clippers near my
the whole update
to make sure I got it done by today. There's also a new Shingetsutan
(Lunar Legend) Tsukihime Anime Review up for you. God bless the hentai game industry,
and the anime industry that uses the hentai industry to make anime.
Hell's bells yeah! Eez Cinco de Mayo ahora! Aye yi yiiiiiiiii! Que
fantastico, amigos y amigas! Me gusta suckar titties! Bueno bueno!! Anyway,
here's a new Cinco de Mayo Holiday
Review and Rating for you, and three
more Vocal Vomits to moisten your eyes up with. Adios!
Wow, not even ONE Review today. I must be sick. Sick like a fox! Instead,
there's a new Examiner Piece
entitled Religion Talk, With Malcolm Z.
And a new WEIRD Daily. Crazy, huh?
Oh yeah, and I'll be around (in one form or another) for AT LEAST
another 9 years. Just renewed my domain, bitches! So, if any of you
puds out there wanted therossman.com... Well, sorry, fuckers.
Good Lord! How much free time did I have this past week?! I have
FIVE Reviews and Ratings for you sad fucks. Here's an Agent
Aika Anime Review, a Najica
Anime Review, an Ikkitousen
Anime Review, a Kill Bill
Volume 2 Movie Review and a Punisher
Movie Review... Jeez! And on top
of that is a Pipe-filled Daily.... You're never satisfied, are you?...
Heeeeeeey youuuuuuu fattiiiiiiiiiiies! Time to Get
Thin! Learn How
To Lose Weight... The Rossman Way. And there's also a Read
or Dream Fabulous Anime Review and Rating for you. Aaaaaand a new
graphic for my old Read or Die OVA Anime
Review. Now, to finish up all
my Cadbury Easter Eggs. Yeeeeeeah, bizatch!
I'm back, but I ain't bad. Well, not too bad. At least I'm not all
vomity and shit like 6/9ths of the Greenwood crew. So, in celebration,
here's a Mahoromatic Anime Review
and Rating and a new Awesome/Crapfest
Okay, wankrods, listen up. I'm not updating next
week, so there are four (read FOUR) updates this week. Now be good boys
and girls and only read two this week, and save two for the following.
Now, there's a new Wolf's Rain
Anime Review, a total
complete Red Dwarf Television Review, a new Eternal
and finally a spankin' new NESticision about insane clowns and evilness
in general. Adios!
I guess the fun will never start... What's up with
that? Anyway, here's a new So Close
Movie Review, and a new Evil
Team Daily. What? You wanted more? Gluttonous pigdog.
Finally, got a new Examiner piece up. It's a Point/Counterpoint
on Men & Women. Fun. Plus a new Gunslinger
Girl Anime Review. Bonus.
Get your fill here.
Crappy week, so just one new thingy. A new Snowy
Daily for you. That is all.
Yeah, just one update today, but it's like 4-5 regular
pages all rolled up into one. Read in amazing disbelief my Final
Fantasy I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X Video Game Review. Whew!
Got through another V-Day this weekend, and got a
lot of piddly stuff done for the site as well... Like you give a shit.
Well, here's a Donnie Darko
Movie Review for you, and a revamped Chronicle
Homepage that seems to have been taken over by Cobra. Yah.
Another looooooooong week behind me. And I can't
even see the weekend from where I stand. Crap in a hat. Anyway,
here's a new Ninja-riffic
New Daily for you, and finally my long awaited Neon
Genesis Evangelion Anime Review. Just because, well, why not? Remember, take both with plenty
Well, you demanded it, so here you go, bitches: G.I.
Joe vs Cobra and Physics part II - The Pyramid of Darkness is now
online. In case you forgot, it's the sequel page to the original G.I.
Joe vs Cobra and Physics - The Saga of the M.A.S.S. Device. Also, here's
a new Takashi
Miike's Dead or Alive Review for you.
Ice, ice and more ice. Falling from the sky, causing
me to cryyyyyy... Ice. Anyway, heres an Ice-riffic
New Daily for you,
More Vocal Vomits, and a new How
To Be A Geek lesson in case you
needed help. Please, get help.
A long weekend just occured, so here's a big update.
Firstly, there's a new Tenchi Muyo
GXP Review about
one of the worst sequels EVER, animated or not. Then there's a Brightastic
New Daily, and even
a Letter for Me about heavy water and
I know it's something really lame to bitch about,
but I have waaaaay too many DVDs to watch and bittorrented anime to
veg out on. It's kind of sad when I don't have a life, and I bemoan
the fact that I still don't have enough time to do absolutely nothing.
Anyway, here's a new Flux
Capacitorized Daily, and a new Boy
Who Saw the Wind Review about
a funky (as in "drugged out", and not "smelly")
anime movie that has lots to do with watching the wind. Yah.
One more time. One more year. Joy. Here's a new Pinkliscious
Daily for you, and a new 2003
Holiday Review and Rating just in case you're in holiday
withdrawal. Or just check out some older new shit below.
Go to other New Stuffs
or go to the Main Rossman Page