 The Wolverin's Rain
ROSSMANIt took over a year to get all of Wolf's
Rain released. Wolf's Rain episode 1 was the first thing that I
had ever bittorrented. And not since Evangelion had
I fallen so head over heels in love with a show based on one
half hour
clip of storytelling. But unlike Eva, Wolf's
Rain kinda failed
to deliver in the end.
I'm warning you up front, I'm gonna spoil the
ever-living shit out of this show during the course of this
review. Not because it sucks (it doesn't really), but because
the show, along with my feelings about it, is very complicated.
Lots of characters, lots of interactions, lots of inner and
outer journeys, and lots of pot smoking (mostly done by the
writers).
The first episode is a great introduction to
the cast and to the setting. Everything appears to take place
in Northern Russia (it's always snowing and the clothes are
uber-Eastern European/Western Asian) near the End of Days.
It seems that
the world is dying, but nothing can be done to stop the decay.
People have lost all hope, especially since the only creatures
that can lead to way to Paradise (when the world finally goes
ka-put) are wolves... And they're supposedly extinct. But,
like all great
stories, things aren't always as they appear. Wolves do in
fact still live, but they're not the kind of wolves that we
know and think are all cute and such today. The wolves in Wolf's
Rain are all sentient creatures with minds more cunning than
man and the ability to change their shape into human form in
order to stay hidden from those who wish to hunt them. Good
stuff so far.
We are introduced to the wolves Tsuge (leather
clad, annoying chest-wound dude), Kiba
(the white wolf, alternative looking annoying guy), Tomoe
(the young annoying one), and Hige (the
annoying fat fuck)... I guess being a dick is a wolf trait.
Who knew? Anyway, aside from the wolves we meet a few humans
and a flower girl (not a girl who sells flowers, but one who
IS a flower... Yeah, I know. Trippy). The main humans
are a recently split up husband and wife team (Cher, the hottie
wife, being the only one I cared about), and an old hunter
with the big black dog with blue eyes who likes to hunt wolves
for sport and vengeance. Kind of like what Carl and I do with
some BB guns and Jimmy Jammer in the woods behind my house
one Saturday night every month.
The wolves are seeking Cheza, the genetically
created flower-girl, because she is supposed to show them the
path to Paradise. The saying goes that at the end of the world
wolves will lead the way to Paradise (just reitterating that
to make it perfectly clear). It is not known what Paradise
truly
is, if
it exists,
or if
humans
are
even
allowed
to go there, but some humans just don't like to ask these questions.
The nobles have put all of their resources into finding Paradise
and have even forsaken their own peasants to do so. At least
I think that's what was happening. Lots of characters, lots
of motivation by the middle of the series.
Pretty good so far, neh? I mean, I was pretty
jazzed by this point to see where the whole thing was going.
I was following the wolf pack week by week to see what kind
of shit they'd fall into in each new episode... but then nothing
ever happened. Let me explain (you'll get used to me saying
that a few more times before this review is done). After the
feral fang gang gets together they head out on their quest
to find Cheza and then Paradise. This is when the show turns
into
a
road movie. Well, it's actually a fairy tale first (think Brothers
Grimm), road movie second. The way that the characters meet,
the people, things and diversions that pop up in front of the
wolves on their journey, and the supporting cast that keeps
up with the action (maybe just one or two steps behind) feels
like some middle-ages old German wrote it before completing
his work on Little Red Riding Hood. It just REEKS of "Fairy
Tale Vibes". That's a good thing. What's not so good is
the
"road movie" aspect of the plot. After a while the
chase (with either the wolves being the chasers or chasees
dependingly)
simply turns into "deterrent of the week". They're
on their quest, a side quest or diversion appears, the side
quest is
completed, the main trek to Paradise continues. It becomes
as predictable as the MegaPlayboy's rectal expulsions after
a night feasting at the Caliente Cab. Just not as deadly.
Add to the fact that there was an entire MONTH
in which Studio Bones ran behind on their schedule and had
to use recaps (four lousy recaps in a row!) and my enthusiasm
in Wolf's Rain slowed down to a crawl. Though
things did pick back up in the early 20s, episode wise. The
story
was coming to
a head, betrayals by annoying characters were tearing the group
apart, and the human personas were starting to realize their
place in the whole Paradise legend. Then the final episode
aired on TV... and although it kinda ended things, it reeeeeally
left a lot wide open, like Tammi With an "I"'s
legs backstage after an Aerosmith concert. But, being in the
know
I already knew that
Studio Bones planned to release 4 OVA episodes to complete
the series once everything was out on DVD. This was of course
to make up for the really shitty recaps (4 IN A ROW) that we,
the viewers, had to endure. Man that just sucked.
Truth be told, I was really jazzed about the
idea of 4 more, high quality animation episodes were eventually
going to be released!... But then I found out that Bones had
pulled away some of its resources from the already in full
production Scrapped
Princess, in order to complete the final
WR eps by delivery date (honestly, I don't
know if this is why Scrapped Princess' ending
is so goddamn rushed and shitacular, but I have a major fanboy
hunch). I was pissed, sure, but if they pulled an infuckingcredible-tastic
Wolfy finale out of their asses I would find it in my heart
to forgive them.
Well, I don't forgive them. It had been more
than 12 full months since Wolf's Rain had
first been broadcast till the time that I saw the final four
eps... And I was not/am not
too happy. After Darcia (or whatever that evil-eyed guy's name
was) left the scene, the wolves and humans meet up and continue
on their Paradise quest, and things move along pretty roughly.
I had come to my own conclusion that there was only one way
that this thing could end, and it did not allow for a happy
ending for everybody (as is required by all fairy tales). But
what
Bones had given us didn't leave room for ANYBODY to be happy,
least of all the viewer. I figured that most of
the characters would die, one by one, but a few would make
it to
the wolves' Paradise, whether they deserved it or not. What we get though
is an ending where EVERYBODY dies all at once (not even one
by one really) and NOBODY makes it to Paradise. I'm all for
pessimistic views of life and the world at large, but this
was just overkill. Definitely not worth two less episodes of
Scrapped Princess. What a cock blow...
Urgh! But, other than a less than tastefull ending,
WR had lots of things to make it almost classic.
The character designs were all appealing (if you can get past
the
sharp noses on all the humans), the animation quality was almost
always extremely high (almost full-time OVA quality), and Yoko
Kanno's music is just to die for. The emotions that she can
stir up with just a few notes from a piano is simply incredible.
I want to capture her, place her in my basement with nothing
but a bed and a piano, and make her play for me forever!...
But I think I just blew that dream by posting it here (if she
ever disappears you just know that the cops would search my
place first now). Bummer.
Everything with this production screamed "perfection",
except the darkness of the plot itself. Let me explain here.
I love fairy tales, the old original ones and not the Disneyfied
modern ones. The ones where good doesn't always win. The ones
where even if good wins it's still tainted by what evil did
to it. The dark fairy tales told to children who were apparently
a lot stronger minded than the pussies we're breeding today
with all the "happily ever after" endings we're crapping
out for them. I love the darkness... But what Wolf's
Rain gives
to us is not a dark fairy tale, it's a depressingly bleak one.
One without any hope in the end (and don't get me started with
that whole "the end is really the beginning as it's the
opening animation," 'cause that's just bullshit). Hope
is essential when writing a tale such as this. Just like Pandora
found out
after opening
her precious box into the world. Even with just a little hope
in a story we can stay focused and care about anything. Take
that away and
you
take away all interest in the characters and their chronicles.
What did I think of Wolf's
Rain? Had I answered this after just seeing the
first episode I would have said "Best start to a show
EVER." But, after
seeing it go everywhere then nowhere, I have to give
it a 271 out of 326 Fangs of Justice. It was decent
and all, and had fantastic production values, but it just
lacked soul.
Plus I could never figure out if the whole thing was really
just a metaphysical/metaphorical journey or a real one to
Paradise... But in the end, it did have a giant fucking talking
walrus. Oooooh yeah.
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BOB FROM THE FUTUREI think these animators need a history lesson.
Well, a "future" lesson for them, but "history" from me. I
would gladly educate them if given the chance.
See, there was an apocalyptic war that
took place a long time ago from my time (just a couple more
years into the
future for the Rossman in his time though), and the whole world
was indeed turned into a giant Siberian wasteland. No way around
that. But the fact that they think that wolves will be the
creatures to lead the world into a self fulfilling "paradise"
is just sickening.
You see, after the apocalypse, all canine
creatures on the planet get mutated into gigantic fanged
beasts with insatiable appetites for human flesh. Yes, even
Chihuahuas
and cute little Poodles become the Devil's enforcers. Now,
these creatures cannot even be considered "werewolves" as
you might know them, since werewolves aren't normally known
for their cock and balls to be the size of small children,
nor are they recognized for having tentacles that can grab,
shake and rip apart small children like those tasty two-sticked
popsicles that are so prevalent in your time. No, these demon-dogs
of the apocalypse are just evil sons of bitches that science
has created in mocking disdain for all things living. They
do not turn human in order to trick us (they actually prefer
to jump out of the bushes in their full hideousness in order
to get people to urinate their own trousers... Some historians
think that sniffing human urine was actually a "high" for
them). Nor do they talk our languages. They mainly just grunt
and
sometimes
utter things that sound like "Lovely day" but are actually
just utterances in their own tongue that mean something along
the
lines of "I'm going to eat your groin."
I give this Japanese animated program
a negative lasergun shot salute. The least they
could have done would have been to check the timestream to
see if they were even close to being accurate in their storytelling.
Oh well.
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