I bet that the Smurfs could kick Skelator's ass.

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The last update until around January 16th (due to some hot dates, the swinging holidays and a sure to be fantabulous time in Vegas for the CES Show). So until then, enjoy a new Daily and the final Ring-rific Review of 2001. And if you have time you can help me figure out the best way to get my hands on an elf or Mrs. Claus in order to have some good hostages this year for the big, bloated bearded one to make sure I finally get some nice presents.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal... and a Happy New Year too!

A timely Rorikon Japanese Schoolgirl Examiner piece on the ethics of pornography. I put a lot of research into this, and I'd do it all over again if I had to!!

What is the future of abortion in the United States? Has the stopping of Stem Cell Research been a precursor to the end of uterus scraping? Will insane fuckers continue to perform abortions on abortion doctors in their 142nd-mesters of life? Find out in a new ATARItor.

Where's Your Head At is now officially the coolest music video ever made. It's better than Sabotage! It's even better than Monkey Vs. Robot!! A new Daily about the experience.

Although I never have, I've known a few people who've tried dabbling in the black arts in order to pass some spare time. Harry is their god!! A new Harry Potter Book Review is up.

I'm still trying to drill another hole in my belt after my turkey day feast of flab. Holy shit I ate a lot. A new Daily.

No updates until the 28th. But today you get one new Buffy the Musical Vampire Slayer Review on a singing slayer, and an extra fluffy and frantastic Daily on the wackiness of time travel.

A new Examiner article is up. Can't figure out what you're thankful for this year for Turkey Day? Let the Rossman Peoples help you sort it all out.

One more Fooly Cooly (FLCL) Anime Review on a kooky anime OAV. And a new Daily on the terrors of Italian eateries.

I have seen how cool a martial arts movie can be. And it was good. Check out the newest rating on The One.

More mail!! Ya-hoo!!! That's right, two more people have acknowledged my existence. Read their sad, sad little letters in the Mail Room.

A new Daily is waiting for you today. Though I didn't plan on doing a Halloween-themed passage this week, somehow zombies popped up. Life's crazy that way.

A coup has occurred in the hallowed pages of NESticision! A new band of bad asses has taken over. Witness the re-launch of ATARItor!... In color!

I may be in demand and busier than Jen's beaver, but I don't forget my psychotic but loving fans. Here's a new Hawai'i Examiner article for you about the hazards of island fever.

Well, this month is pretty damn busy so there won't be more than one update a week. Lick my nutz.
Anyway, today's update is a new Daily.... you beastiality provocator.

The Wolfman's Peoples Section is complete. There is also a new Daily about the hazards of indoor air conditioning.

The month long "Crazy-Fun Sexy Contest" is now up. You can win CRAP for writing a hate letter! Also a new Jin-Roh Anime Review along with the Wolfman's reviewing debut.

One new The Others Movie Review is up and I finally got Chi-Chi's bio finished on the Rossman Peoples page. Soon to follow will be The Skipper and the Wolfman. Probably in 2003. 2002 if you're lucky.

A fun day in the seedy underworld of Hotlanta thanks to Chi-Chi and the Skipper. A new Daily.

I'm even more patriotic today than I've been in a long time. Read the newest EXAMINER to find out why.

Also some more sad news that I just found out today. Hank, the angry drunken dwarf, from Howard Stern's radio show died last week.

At around 9AM EST, some unnamed terrorists declared WAR on the U.S.
Thousands of innocent American (and hundreds of foreign) civilians died in the plane attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and the downed flight in Pennsylvania. I am still in shock, but my patriotic side wants me to say "Those pigfuckers who did this will all die painful and unimaginable deaths at the hands of our SEALs, Rangers and Green Berets. Have faith, fellow countrymen!" A Daily covers more.

A new Daily about the hazards of too much of a bad Saturday morning sitcom.

Afroman's "Because I Got High" is a totally overplayed song that now sucks.
Well, this past weekend everybody celebrated my birthday a bit late, but I still got gifts so that was pretty cool. Read about my day-long SMASHING present in the Daily and one more NESticision about the hazards of Death.

Afroman's "Because I Got High" is a great song.
Today we rate and review the (*company's name deleted*)'s crappy SUV, the (*name of automobile deleted*). There's also some lovely hate mail.

Real quick. New Rating and Review. Gate Keepers Anime Review. Do it.

What the fuck was I thinking?! The final 3 California Adventures pages are up. Don't vomit. Also, a new Daily about another favorite red neck pasttime... the drag way!
A new contest might be coming soon (the first one in 3 years!!!). I'm trying to see how many crappy DVDs I can scrape together for a prize. Man is it gunna be a sweet anniversary competition!!

One more Daily about destroying the minds of today's youth before they can even eat solid foods. And also, the NESticision crew is back to talk about a hot topic: Embryonic Stem Cell Research.

Yeah, I like a show that's got a cuteness factor of 200%+. I'm not perfect. I never claimed I was. The Tenshi Ni Narumon (I'm Gonna Be An Angel) Review and Rating is waiting.

Bootlegs, bootlegs, bootlegs!!! God bless 'em! A new Daily is up and waiting.


The police are evil minions of MTV's progamming department. They are that evil. Find out why in the newest Daily. Then read pages 7 and 8 of the ongoing E3 saga in the Examiner.

I'm back from paradise and I'm a nice golden brown shade of manliness. I'm working on a page about Hawai'i, but it'll have to wait until after my article about E3. Until that time, here's another Daily.

Well, I'm heading for Hawaii tomorrow to finally visit my friend Andy who moved out there like a bitch last year. So no updates for close to two weeks. But for now here's a new Daily and parts 4-6 of the E3 Adventure.

The 4th was a BANG! I had a blast and we blew a lot of shit up. Read about it in the Daily. Also, a new Review and Rating of the soon to be infamous Katie Marlow Date.

I did something brand new and incredibly fucking lazy today: I merged Two Movie Reviews into one. Don't worry, they're both still as unintelligible as all the rest.

I finally began building my E3 page for the Examiner. Only parts 1-3 are up yet though. It'll take a few years to get the rest done, but it will be completed dammit! Also, a new Daily about softball and the pain it brings to those who love it.

Puppy pancakes and hot anime chicks fill up today's portion of Rossman goodness. That's a new Daily and Vandread Anime Review and Rating for ya.

I had a great time at a wedding this weekend! It was perfect!! Lots of explosions and even some minor flooding. Read about it in the Daily. Then hop on over to the Mail Bag to see how the Rossman gets blamed by some people for everything that goes wrong around him.

Gameboy Advance is pretty sweet. I've basically only played the two new Zelda games on it, but I swear they play better on it than on my GB Color. I thought about having a contest to give my old Gameboy Color away to a lucky reader, but then I thought that you would never understand the value of moneys if you just got something like that for free. Plus, you've never given me jack shit. A sparkly Daily focuses on my addictive Zelda habit.

One more Rating and Review done. The ever impressive Nadia of the Mysterious Studio Gainax.

I got a new fan letter in today. It's "mail-a-rific"! Also a new Daily (Ironically enough sort of based on the letter... I'm kooky that way).

Read all about how Kuni blew up the Atlanta Lakewood Auditorium in the newest Daily. Also check out what my friends and I thought about The Animal in a new Rating and Review.

Well, I got all the pictures done for the E3 page... but the rest is gunna take a while cause it was starting to get tedious. Fuck off, it happens! But, I do have a new Daily and one more Helloween Rating and Review of one of the greatest loud bands of all time!

Still working on my E3 thing. It's taking a while, whore, so quit poking me!! I do have a new Daily though.

A new Review of the movie with lots of green people, Shrek, is up. I also got another e-mail that I want to share with the world on my Mail page.

Back from E3 and I have a story to tell and sordid pictures to show!..... but you'll have to wait a bit. In the meantime though, take a whiff of a new Daily and then check out the new Top 40 Hair Bands Rating and Review of VH1's rating of the Top 40 Hair Bands of All Time. That's like Mad magazine making a satire of a Mel Brooks movie!!

No updates for like a week and a half. I'll be going to E3 for the 4th year in a row (just bragging), so just sit tight but don't wet yourself in anticipation.

The Reviewin' and Ratin' page has an update with two new reviews: The Mummy Returns and The Legend of Black Heaven. One new Daily too.

A new Daily that covers the controvertial topic of aborting the kids that destroy the world by travelling through time and killing their father before they're conceived. Also a new NESticision that talks about U.S. and Chinese Relations.

Holy fuck! Who'd 'uv thought it would have happened so soon! After only 5+ years of having my page up I got an e-mail fan letter! Check it out at the Mail page. Also the Megaplayboy finally has his page up in the Peoples section.

Twilight fun in downtown Athens in the Daily, and two reviews (one old one new) finally posted in the RRR section.

Robot Pedro finally has his site up at the Rossman Peoples page. Now I've only got the Megaplayboy to go... Unless I actually make some new friends sometime soon.... Riiiiiiiiiight.

Dentists suck ass. A new Daily.

Kuni the Direct Descendant's page is now up in the Peoples Section. Also, there's a new Rossman out there with his own site that's worth a mention.

One more person that I know has her own immortal webpage up at Peoples (hint, hint... it's the Devil). Also a new Daily.

Some of the Peoples are up on that new page. I also got a new Daily running for your reading pleasure. Soon I'll have some Ratings and Reviews. Just not now.

One new member of the Rossman's family and one more Daily. The Rossman Peoples will be updated shortly, so quit whackin' off and get ready.

The Examiner Article on judgery that I've been technically working on for over a month is done. Unfortunately it doesn't live up to the hype, but nothing ever does. There's also a new Daily that covers an emotional topic close to my heart. Puerto Rican Robots.

No gay April Fool's stuff here, thank you very much. I do have a new Daily and a new Oscar Edition of NESticision. I'll soon have a brandy new Examiner and some Peoples pages up.

I actually redid the whole thing! Despite Kuni's and Robot Danny-boy's best efforts to keep me from doing so. They have already been dealt with. Total site renewal. Feels damn good.

One more testimony about how I saved mankind a lot of crotch problems in the Daily. Also, Mother Brain has something important to say in a spankingly new NESticision. Yes it's extremely culturally late, but as my ex-girlfriend used to say, "Better late than never". That or "Why the hell do you get to wear the leather mask again?! I bought it!"

I got a Daily for ya. How 'bout a new NESticision too? Would ya like that?! Would that satisfy you? Would that pass on by you? Would you think that Rossman is strange?... pigfucker.

One more new Daily and a few more NESticisions. Work is also underway to resculpt the main Chronicle Page. Looking back at the past 5 years of this website I began to wonder... was I always this lazy? If only "Bob From the Future" could take me back a few years to see, then maybe I could get myself to try a bit harder and maybe-.... Ah screw it. Sleep now.

Another Daily is up and I finally began on the resussitation project of bringing back a form of In the Nakey NES. NESticision is definitely my most unoriginal page (hell, I took the whole idea from somebody else, I admit it, so fuck off) to date. It's all done to save its memory from the unforgiving hands of time and the feeble minds of a Nintendo-aged generation of slackers who probably already forgot that such a page once existed and had already died a horrible, horrible death... Bastards.

I redid the Daily Page and added the first new installment. I thought I was on a roll and was about to re-edit and re-graphic a bunch more pages when the pizza arrived and I remembered that the rerun of the Man Show where they make fun of midgets and make girls jump on trampolines was about to start.

I thought about redoing the site, but then I thought against it. So I just sat around and beat up my friend's dog when he was out of the room.

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This site (design and text) is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Do not copy any of it or I will come over there and rip off your sack and feed it to your dog. Skeletor and the Smurfs are trademarks of other people. There's no way in hell I'd take credit for them!