After a while even the heckling
of sad, lonely and dried up businesses grows tiring and depressing.
Honestly, I can't imagine how there were any people in that display
hall at all. Why so many of them did not commit seppuku in order
to save face once they were doomed to Kentia I'll never know.
The Lordsboy and I headed back up to the swinging section
of the ol' E3 to get our minds back on the possibility that life
can be cool for those who want it to be... as long as they don't
work for a company named "Digital STD" (needless to
say we stayed away from that display). Soon we were back in the
land of Grand Turismo 3 and Metal Gear Solid 2.
And it was good. I drove my little Audi up Jason's crack 4 races
in a row on the aforementioned excellent GT3. Maybe it
wasn't an Audi... But it was a foreign car and it did look like
a piece of shit (sorry, Megaplayboy). It handled well though.
And I won. That's all that matters anyway. I wiped my ass with
the bastard! To make up for all my flaunting and middle finger
pointing at him, I took Jason over to the Konami booth to play
some Solid Snake. The Lordsman did pretty dang good for himself
and cleared several rounds of bad guys in a matter of seconds.
I on the other hand kept getting blown away like a Colombian
drug informant who goes home to South America for the holidays.
I'd walk in a doorway and BAM! I'd creep through the pipes and
BAM!! I'd take a few minutes off to bang the bejeezus out of
a Commie hooker and BAM BAM!!! And the game was even less forgiving.
After having all of my digital bodily organs stepped on and
shot 325 times each I called it quits and showed Jason some of
my real covert moves. I snuck up behind the bitch, stuffed
a big cheese wheel in his mouth, snapped his neck and then stabbed
him a few dozen times in the face with a spork I found on the
ground. It turns out that that kind of attack isn't even lethal
to fluffy puppies though, and psycho Jason then proceeded to
lose it as he dressed up in military garb and tried to sniper
me like Ed Harris in Enemy At The Gates.
I regained my sanity and stopped trying to grind up my old friend
into ground chuck with a plastic utensil, the damn fool took
it the wrong way and pulled a Russian SK280 on me! I was eventually
able to wrassle it free from his grip and then pound the pain
out of his corpse until he promised that we could be friends
again where in I'm the only friend who can physically hurt the
other. I had to do the same thing to him back in grade school.