Not that there's anything wrong with a little porn (or a LOT
of it in "My Carpet's" case), far from it. I've stated
it before and I'll say it again, everybody needs at least 5 images
of attractive and naked women a day. That includes women, but
not children. I'm no freak.
But Japan goes far beyond that. It would appear that everybody
from Okinawa to Hokkaido wants to jump the bones of a waif-like
14 year old. A friend of mine from college, a native from Japan,
got all defensive and pissed off when I first brought my theory
to him. This surprised me as he was the one who told me about
all of the shops in Tokyo that sell "used schoolgirl underwear"
and the high schoolers who whore themselves out to middle aged
business men so that they can afford their cute, pink cell phones
that they use to tell their friends about how Akemi's dad fucked
them up the ass for 4,000 Yen an hour before.
To prove my point to my friend (I'll call him "Ataru"
from now on), all I had to do was have him take a look around
his own bedroom. There were at least 13 things out in the open
that had images of teens in sexy clothes or poses. He had posters
of 16 year old idol singers on his walls; he had anime DVDs depicting
"monster sex" with girls in fukus sitting on his TV
(I made a mental note to preview those for quality and sanity
control later); he had a screen saver on his computer of some
young Japanese girl prancing around in her underwear (truth be
told, Ataru got that from me, but that's not the point); etc,
also told me about hygiene in Japanese high schools too. Apparently
everyday all of the female students (well, only the attractive
ones) have to line up at the Nurse's Office for a daily physical.
Ass pertness is measured along with "bouncy chest".
If a girl's chest doesn't bounce enough in proportion to her
height and petite mass then she is forced to eat nothing but
carrots for a month. Then the school physicians take pictures
of the female students shitting the carrot fecal matter onto
eager young boys to later post on the internet.
order to stay "pure" and clean, the school nurse must
go through the daily exam too. She is also to help lather up
the girls and get the giant tentacle monster (each school has
at least 3 in secret closets or basements spread throughout the
grounds) ready for his lunch. It seems that these tentacle monsters
need 5 pints of "super love cream juice" every two
days to remain healthy. And any school with malnourished tentacle
monsters gets 8 demerits from the Japanese Sex Control Specialist
she didn't want to talk about it too much, Sakura also brought
up the fact that the school nurse was also responsible for keeping
the resident school stalker under control. He needs no less than
5 psycho shags a day. If the nurse forgets or is held up by a
tentacle monster then the resident school stalker goes nuts and
kidnaps up to 12 girls of various stereotypes (including a pretty
yet mousy one, a pretty glasses-wearing smart one, a pretty athletic
jock one, a pretty obnoxious but misunderstood one, and a pretty
wise beyond her years one who likes melted candle wax). Then
he takes pictures of the girls tied up and pleasuring themselves
which he posts on the internet later that day. Every picture
costs that school a demerit too. School nurse must be a tough
job in Japan.
That's when he bowed his head in shame and told me everything.
Every sordid little detail of life in Japan and how it all revolves
around the quest for high school girl ass.
He told me about the magazines and how anything goes as long
as no pubic hair is shown. That's right, newsstand magazines
(that kids can even buy) can have images of chicks hanging from
the ceiling upside down by rubber cords, covered in human crap
while some dork with a tiny Asian dong pisses on her from a ladder....
as long as she's shaved. But Playboy is "evil" and
disturbing because it shows female muff-fluff.
Ataru then showed me some of his personal collection of "lolicon
magazines" (fyi, lolicon is the Japanese way of saying
"lolita complex"). Some were pretty damn funny, like
the ones with schoolgirls flashing their tits and asses in the
middle of crowded street corners while nobody around them bats
an eye. But most were really fucked up. There was one that had
a girl partially dressed in a schoolgirl outfit with orange goo
in her hair and a dog licking her ta-tas, puking all over some
poor guy's extended schlong while a masked accomplice standing
behind her shoved a two foot glowing fluorescent light bulb up
her toucus. The opposite page had the same girl getting fucked
by another woman with a big green strap-on between her legs and
a kitten in her arms while they both stood in a hot tub filled
with what looked like human excrement. Both were smiling too.
If I was eleven or twelve I would have found it funnier than
Night Court, but being a semi-adult I was surprisingly
unsettled. I couldn't explain it. I mean, I've seen some porn
in my day that would make Chi-Chi blush, but this Japanese stuff
made me think. Then I understood what my brain had already discovered:
Japan is an untapped resource of all things smut that America
needed to experience!