Part the Fifth: No!  I'll crush you with my bare hands!

Part the Fifth

7/04/1998 The Mysterious End
(As told by Oni-chan and Catsy)

I'm not sick, but I'm not well.... And I'm so hot, cause I'm in hell!
Even amid the atrocities and utter horrors of the war some acts of villany went beyond contemptuous words.

-"Neow. On the Fifth we woke up at around 8:30, got cleaned and ran down to Carl's for some Sunrise Combos. Oni-chan was willing to take her chances again and I was hungry after not eating for like a day."

-"Well, we ate our glorious feast of grease in a colorful assortment of browns, yellows, reds and oranges and then we had to say goodbye. We knew that we wouldn't have the time to stop in again for lunch (what with the auctions and closing ceremonies) or dinner (what with our plane taking off and all), so we captured the moment for all eternity.

"One thousand burrito supremes, meximelts and one of those new gorditas.  Hey, Gojira, do you want someting to drink?"
We said, "Sayonara" to all the good people behind the counter... but like they could speak English yet alone Japanese.

  We then ran back to the hotel and burned off the heartburn (whatta great sensation!) as we made our way back to the dealers' room for one last spending craze."

-"We finally got the 'Mylene Jenius Sings Lynn Minmay' CD (it rocks!) and the Giant Robo 7 soundtrack for a pretty good deal (I couldn't wait to hear that ending music again!). After that we wandered over to the Viz booth (well, what was there of it as the people who were supposed to deliver it took the left at Montevideo and never made it). the guys behind the counter were cool, though! We bought a couple of Takahashi graphic novels from them and they gave us some neat pins of Shampoo and Nabiki! That was very nice (and I love how they're actually translating their manga perfectly now [i.e. 'Kanrinrin-san', 'Oni' and 'Ran-chan'^_^]. It's totally weird how ADVision is missing the bus in that department now) and we thanked them as we hurried back to our rooms to check out-tcha."

AX T's from four years ago?  $45.  T's from Animecon?  $100.
There's the MegaPoster in all its glory!!!... and a buncha other crap.

Sorry, we only sell eight-tracks.
"Do you have that cd with that song from that show with that idol singer? You know."

Hey, baby.  I'm just an Immortal kind of guy.
We ran into Kenji one last time in the Dealers' Room. It looked like he got over Sailor Moon pretty quickly too! I wonder what the guy's secret is. I'm sure the wanks at UGAnime would love to know ^_-

-"We got done packing at around 10:10, and checked out at the front counter. We then stashed our stuff with some bell-boy (who marked up Catsy with his pen as he bent down to pick up our bags [no tip for el dorko]) and rushed to the Bandai Panel already in progress.
  Once again (stuff that's been on the net since early May), they told us that they were going to bring over Tenkuu no Escaflowne, Gundam (starting with the first series [Yikes! The worst one!] and going through the whole timeline[s]), Saber Marionettes J and that Clamp Androginous Dectective Show (among others) to the States themselves and only subbed! That was the cool news! The weird news was that they were only going to sell those series from there Anime Village website. That didn't strike Catsy and I as a very smart thing to do... and we're only a generic cat-girl and oni with no education."

That's the way that they became the Bandai Bunch!
"What do you mean, 'What are those Bandai people thinking?'. We're going to bring you good copies of Gundam and Escafrowne! Don't comprain!"

-"Yeah-tcha! I guess they feel they can make enough off of these series just selling them to hard-core anime fans, 'cause that's the only peole they'll get. Those who know about their page. It's not like somebody'll just go into a store and walk down an aisle and say, 'Hey-tcha, this Gun-Damn looks nifty. I think I'll buy it!' The only people they can sell to will have to know where to look, and people are still a little afraid of buying stuff on the web (well, except Oni-chan and me^^ But it's not our credit card we use anyway).... Anyway, they went on to tell us about a new Gundam08th video release, something about a new Gundam W and how future projects could be in both the old and some alternate timelines. They either didn't know for sure or they were just playing hardball."

-"They then told us how they wanted to use their new Anime Village website to somehow put together a 'Megah-Supah Costume Contest' strickly on-line that could span the globe.... Bwa ha ha ha ha! Oh man! I know some kid who can Photoshop in very realistic costumes on actual photos and people can't tell the difference! If their costume thing is ever realized it'll just turn into an Adobe Photoshop contest! Ha ha ha! Man that was funny!"

-"Neow. Not half as funny as what they showed us next. What the hell was that anyway?"

-"The G-Savior? I have no idea, Cat. None. It looked like the people who brought us the Power Rangers were putting together a live action English Gundam. The idea of a live action Gundam has merit, just not in this freaky style. The SFX were pretty snazzy, but the acting was PATHETIC! The whole room starting laughing at the horrible lines and the unenthusiastic manner in which they were spoken in. They weren't even trying.
  And the plot, or should I say lack there of, was very Power Rangeresque too. 'The future is now in the hands of these whiny little teen-agers whom you wouldn't even trust to wash your car, yet alone pilot this f***in' huge mobile suit with blaster, laser sword and 56 missiles in its chest! This is G-Savior!' Ha ha ha ha! I hope to God that this was not the thing that Dreamworks was working on for an American Gundam TV show."

-"It was funny^_^, but I think we should give Bandai credit where credit is due. There are bringing over some of the most sought after anime in pure subtitle form for us-tcha (Man oh man! This entire weekend just farged up the inventories of every single fansubber in the Ustados Unidos in one quick blow! Nadesico, Fushigi Yuugi, Gundam, Escaflowne, etc. etc....). So I say everybody go over to Anime Village when you're done with this page and check it out!..... Wait, you know what this means? We now have to release those POWs from Animazement. I hope somebody in Carolina got the news.
  After that cheesy as hell G-S preview and a few more lame-o fanboy questions for the panel, it was over. It was then 11:00 and we looked at our schedule. We could either go to the Viz panel and watch people laugh at them or we could check out the 'Directing Anime Panel'. It was a tough call (We wanted to go to the Viz panel if only to tell them to keep making Urusei Yatsura manga, but then we'd have to reveal our true identities and that would make it hard for our loved ones as they'd be in constant peril from that day forward), but we chose the director's thang."

-"We got to the main theater room where it was to be held, but the 'Manga Writing' Panel was running long. So we just sat down and listened. They answered questions about how they got so good at drawing (practice a whooooole lot, borrow [don't steal^_-] and get inspired by people who are better than you).

"Do we like to draw what?!?!"
"And so, to answer your question, I would have to say 'no'. I will not draw you, especially not if it's in that pose from Titanic."

  Watase-san is a workaholic while the guys on the panel liked to slack off a lot. Girl Power! *Ahem* Anywhere, it turns out that some manga artists draw 20+ pages a week and only get around 6 hours of personal time a week! That would majorly suck! Aye caramba!
  They said that when they get into a rut they don't even feel human. One of them even said that the Rurouni Kenshin guy has been in one helluva workload rut for like three years now and they were afraid that one day they'd find that he snapped and ran naked out into the forest to be one with nature or something. Scary."

-"Neow. The sucky thing most these guys (and gal) talked about was that their work is almost totally out of their control. Yu told us that she originally got a lot of red markings on her drafts in the beginning, but that she's learning now and understands what they now want. That sounds a little fascist to me: 'You may draw your manga for us, but we tell the story and tell you how to draw each panel-tcha'.
  Then the TriGun guy told us that he refused to make any changes to his work unless his editor could convince him that it was for the best and that the alterations would help the work. He's sooooo cool! That's what I would say if I could draw^_^"

-"Catsy, you just got no talent. Anyway, the panel then ended (even the guests thought it was too short!) and the 'Directing Anime' Panel soon began.
  They jumped right into it! It turns out that Scotty is directing a cool project that will be 90 minutes long and released in Japan in December '99. Then Yoshimatsu told us that he loves the States 'cause we had Toys R Us and Kay Bee^_^ Cool!

Go Speed Racer!  Go Speed Racer!
"Well, you see, I was under the impression that early 20th century Expressionism carried with it the implications that mankind was beginning to open up artistically and understand his inner soul which would allow peace to over come him so that we here today could enjoy Speed Racer to its fullest and comprehend how he could be such a demon behind the wheel, but a really swell guy once you got to know him."

  They then explained to us just how expensive animation is and how they have to review storyboards over and over again so that they never run over and have to cut some finished animation. They said that there's a LOT of drawing going on in pre-production, but that during production itself the mental and physical stress of keeping everything going and (sort of) on time is incredible and that they have to go to the gym everyday to work it off and to gain stamina.... They then all quickly added that they never really did."

-"That's when Yoshimatsu said that he was getting a wee bit chubby and he ordered Tony Little's Abs of Steel workout. He said that Tony lies in his commercials^^ That's okay though, 'cause he's cuddly!
  Then the 'Action' vs 'Comedy' in difficulty levels question was asked. And of course they answered that 'They are both equally difficult for different reasons'. How many people honestly didn't see that one coming, huh?
  Neow. We were told that serious stuff always had more lines than light hearted stuff, but that being real funny was a lot harder than being really cool. Understandable. I mean sometimes Oni-chan can actually be cool, but no matter how she tries she can never be funny... Wait, is that the other way around-tcha?"

-"Catsy, do you see this can I'm holding right here?"

-"Uh, yeah..."

-"What does it say on the label?"


-"..... Don't make me have to open it, 'kay.
  Then somebody actually asked a pretty good question: 'What do they think about the sub vs. dub debate?' Kitakubo thought that subs were fundamentally better for getting all of the cultural references and understanding the film better (please tell that to ADV!), but that he was guilty of going to see the dubs of movies more himself. Yoshi then said that DVD is the best bet where you could get both for the price of one. If only more companies would take the bold step and release more on it.
  Hayama preferred subs for all the nuances you could find in them, but he told us that in a perfect world a story would need no words at all."

-"Then the discussion moved to Computers in animation. The panel was quick to point out that even though more computers were being used, it was not necessarily for 3D animation. Most computers in animation are used to color in the cells and such-tcha.
  A fanboy then brought up his major concerns with 3D animation stating that there were cute girls drawn in 2D, but not really in 3D. Would this ever be possible?.... After a long pause the answer was 'Yes'. Eventually it will be done, and the first guy that figures out how will be the hero of the 21st Century. Everybody laughed (probably 'cause it was true)."

-"They then began telling us how they come up with all of those kewl angles seen in anime. Yoshi said that since TriGun is a sci-fi Western he watched a lot of Sergio Leone Pasta Westerns for ideas. Hayama never really thought about it and Kitakubo said he just drew influences from everything and that eventually the coolness that we end up seeing comes out.
  Once again the panel ran over. We stayed in our seats to wait for the Auctions and to kidnap the guests when they walked past us so that they could make an animation about kitty and me. They must've seen us though cause they slipped out the back and they told some braindead volunteers to usher us out. That wasn't very nice."

-"Eh, at least we took out a few of them before they shoved us out the door. We then went to the theater in the back and started watching Shadow Skill II.... This was some of the bloodiest fighting I've ever seen in my short little life. Damn was it good! We ended up walking back and forth between the line forming for the Auctions and Shadow Skill. Back and forth, back and forth. Eventually they let people into the main theater and we jumped right back in. Now, according to Oni-chan the Auction last year was packed! This year not many people originally showed up. So, knowing that getting a seat wasn't going to be a problem we then ran back and saw the rest of SSII. Now, the fighting was fast and furiously fun, but it actually tried to tell a story (an incredibly lame one, but a story none-the-less). This was bull****! Shadow Skill is not about 'story', and at least the first one had no misgivings about that at all. It just showed us the bodies (beating the royal crap outta each other o_0)"

-"Anyway, when that ended we got back to the Auction and at 1:30 it began. First up was the Anime Expo Auction where all the stuff that too many people bid on in the art room was now going to find an owner (for a whooooole lot more than if they were just sold outright). Now some of these pieces were incredible, like those glass ornaments with anime characters etched into them (for $120 and $200) and those really neat watercolors of the Rayearth bunch and the Dirty Pair (for $375 and $250). But some of the crap up there was really embarrassing and we had nothing to do with it!
  For instance, there were some really crappy pencil sketches going for upwards of $500 that the Rossman could have drawn (much better even) in his sleep! They were pencil sketches!!! Not even color pencils!!! If the artist was any good (well, not quality wise of course) he could have done each in about an hour! It was beyond scary how people were throwing money away like it was blowing outta Catsy's butt!"

AhhhhhhHHH!  My goddess!
This Skuld painting was one of the cool ones! The sad thing is that it only went for $80. This is especially sad when you know that the Ranma 1/2 pic with all the characters in a 'Showgirls' pose went for $450... I just could not see anybody hanging that thing on their wall.... Well, maybe the Rossman.

-"Puh-leez stop using that expression. Anyway, the people in charge of the monitors were getting really good with the cuts and the fade ins and outs. Impressive.
  After a while (and a lot of junk) another really cool Rayearth watercolor went for $275 and the ultimate watercolor of our fave Battle Angel (titled 'Peace Angel') went for $400! Yow-tcha! Then the 1st auction was over and we had to wait another hour for the SPJA Charity Auction to begin. It seems that that's all we did that weekend- wait.
Anywho, then we watched as everybody went over to the register to pay their bids for their merchandice. Oni-chan and I went over to laugh at the freaks who bought the crappola."

"Sign here, and here.... and here.... oh, and we need a blood sample and sign here.... and here.... and here.... here's the cup for the 'baby batter' specimen..... sign here.... and here. Great! Here's your picture and they'll collect your soul in the back room. Come again^^"

-"Finally, an hour and four minutes later the SPJA Charity thingy began. This is what I remembered as the theater was soon packed with everybody left at the con (as all the video rooms were closing down at that time).
  The winners of the Video Game Contest were announced (I have no idea why) but nobody who won was there to accept their prize. Anyway, the fun soon began. First up was a really dumb (and not anime or manga related in the least) Dragon Lance picture donated by some American lamer. They said it retailed for $250 (ja, right!), but it only sold for $65. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I can't believe it went for that much! Even for charity!
  After that, lots of really cool stuff went up. Lots of cells from Kamiya series that he autographed himself (the highest going for $300!), tons of posters and even an inflated ballon with a smiley face on it (signed by Mika- went for $100!!). A buncha cool Giant Robo stuff left over from last year went up (I tried to get a poster signed by the whole GR crew last year for $35, but it immediately jumped to $100 and ended at $150)."

-"Neow. Yeah, that was sad.
  After all the GR stuff though, a Pretty Sammi cell signed by Chisa herself went for $225. All in all there were over 50 items up for auction. Some of the best were a signed oversized Golden Boy cell for $425 (first bid at $300), a signed and dated Yuna sign board for $500, a Slayers signed oversized Naga cell for $400, Pencil drawings of Lina for $500, a CityHunter sign board for $850, an Akitaka signboard of Yuna for $800 and a signboard of Lina biting Naga in color for $650!!!! Totally incredible-tcha!

I'd buy that for a dollar!
Mmmmmm, beefy!

Kimino Mystic Eyes!
Yuna bringin' home the bacon.

  Then some of the really cool pieces were offered! The first was a giant poster with the main design of the 3D Art contest on it (Nothing spectacular about that by itself, in fact the rendered image of Priss' hard suit was really bad) and the signatures of all the GOHs! It first went up to something like $400 before it stalled, but then the camera man focused in on a little sketch of Miaka that Watase-sensei drew on it and the price rose to $650! Everybody applauded the woman who bought it! But a little while later the main piece was offered: a full color signboard sketch of Tomahome, Miaka and Nakago done by Watase earlier that day. It was very cool!"

"Thank God!  Now I can afford to keep Miaka fed."
I'm getting hot flashes just thinking about how high this one went!

-"The final item definitely went out with a *BANG!* It started at $700 and quickly went to $2,000!!! Watase was in the front row and she herself could not believe it. Her face blushed red^_^ It was cute!
 Anyhow, the bidding went on as the crowd coaxed the woman who thought that 2K was too high to reconsider and soon it rocketed to its final take at $3,200!!!! After a huge standing ovation for her, she posed with a still shocked Yu Watase on stage with her prize! Holy Moly! That was more than any of Yuki's pics last year!!! Wow!"

Kiss your kid's college tuition bye bye.
"I changed my mind, I want it back!"

-"The funny thing about this was that it was the same woman who bought both the signed poster for $650 and this! Did her husband work for the Yakuza or something? Yow-za!

Damn I wanted that pic!  Too bad it went over my budget of $2.50 or it would have been mine.
"Oh well, operation shmoperation."

  Anyway, after a little wait for the people who bid to pay for their merchandice, they got on to the modeling winners and then the karaoke contest winners (which nobody really cared about) with the winning music videos being played in between. Then we were informed that the staff was to award another prize for 'Creative and Techinical Merit' to a video... They chose the Evangelion one^_^."

-"So in the end, one guy won all four awards for the video contest, and he wasn't even there to accept his two director's chairs signed by all the GOHs. I was tempted to run up on stage and take his place, but I thought that a lil' Oni in a purple Sailor Senshi outfit would be too obvious. So I didn't.
  Then we moved on to the SPJA Industry Awards. The president of the SPJA presented these:

Favorite Male Character (Japanese release)  Zelgadis
Favorite Male Character (American release) Tenchi Masaki
Favorite Female (Japanese release) Lina Inverse
Favorite Female (American release) Ayanami Rei
Favorite Non-Human (Japanese) Ryo-ohki (I can't believe he beat Pen^2!)
Favorite Non-Human (American) Ryo-ohki
Best Japanese Album Vampire Princess Miyu
Best American Album Tenchi Muyo! OAV 2 Soundtrack
Best Manga (Japanese) Inu Yasha (The people have spoken^_^)
Best Manga (American) Ah! Megamisama
Best Film (Japanese) End of Evangelion (I guarentee you that maybe five people at the whole convention saw it, but I'm glad its word of mouth has spread so far ao fast)
 Best Film (American) Shin KOR
Best OAV (Japanese) Fushigi Yuugi (2 years in a row and I still can't believe that anybody had really seen it!)
Best OAV (American) Key the Metal Idol
Best TV Series (Japanese) Super Cat Girl Nuku Nuku (Catsy was happy)
Best Animated Film or TV Series (American) The Simpsons (D'oh!)
Best Anime Publication Animerica (Has anybody ever heard of Protoculture Addicts? Hello! PA kicks Animerica's ass!)
Best American Anime Company Pioneer Entertainment (Once again the reigning king)

  Well, there were some good choices, but there were still some clunkers this year. Otaku baka."

-"Finally, at 6:12, the Closing Ceremonies began.... Well, they started to begin them at that time. They actually started at around 6:30-tcha.
 During this time we talked to the people around us who confirmed a bunch of stuff that we had already heard: Like Viz had the Fushigi Yuugi manga along with Video Guy Al and something called Steam Detectives (all manga of course). It sounded like quite a line up, but I was still disturbed that nothing about Lum was mentioned. Please don't kill Lum! Urusei Yatsura is my life!!!!"

-"They should know better than that. UY has got the most devoted fan following of any manga in the US. They wouldn't dare drop it.
  Anyway, the ceremonies began and our wonderful world began to end. First we were told that there were 154 volunteers running things and that there were a little over 4,500 attendees. That's like 500 more than last year! Although not a huge jump (they were expecting 5,000 I found out) it was a lotta people. Then the GOHs came back out onto the stage.

They got the clap.
"Yay for us! We applaud our excellence!"

  Mika began the guest feedback by saying that he originally thought that 3 days would be too long for a con, but now that it's over it seemed way too short. What a sweetie! Hayama wished he could stay longer and Kitakubo announced that his first step in taking over the world was very successful as he now had one loyal subject who would do anything for his master... He then pointed to Yasuhiro who bowed to him^_^ Ha ha ha! That was funny (remember, he was the guy who was going to prevent the take over ^_-)!"

-"Neow. Kitakubo then said that because of him, the cultural differences between America and Japan wree probably much bigger now. Kamiya-san said that he was glad to actually have been able to catch the last day this year and that he wished he could return yet again next year! Cool!
  Watase-san then said that she was glad she was able to mix with her American fans and that she got a very good impression of the States (uh, not that she had a bad one :). She just wished that she could have given us more stuff and that she 'didn't take such bad pictures.' I don't know what she was thinking! She photographed the best of everyone!"

-"Whoa! She was pretty harsh on herself. I thought she was adorable! Anywho, Yoshi then said that he loved America for something that we pretty much take for granted: the WWF. No, trust me, we don't take it for granted. We know it's crap and we treat it as such. We were then told that he loves Steve Austin..... Ooooooookay.
  It was then Yasuhiro's turn and he told us that he was glad he gave up his day job to be a manga artist because he was able to spend the weekend with us. I don't blame him, we do rock! He then told us he liked it when (here's the key word here)
pretty American girls dress up in CosPlay. And he loved American restaurants with their HUGE portions^_^"

-"After the guests were done, we were told that 'Thanks to all of the Guests of Honor that the charity auction received more than $16,000! The check for next year would be over $18,000! That was incredible!! The theater (about 3/4 full-tcha) clapped like crazy. Then when we all settled down it became official that AX98 was a success, so Yu filled in the second eye on that weird wooden statue.

"Yes! I can see the light!"
"Do you want to sign my baby? Arrigatou!"

   And then.... and then it was over. AX98 had ended (officially). Oni-chan and I felt our PCD kicking in right as we saw the GOHs book it for the door (I think the Ota-funk finally got to them, though I was surprised none of them just passed out). They were brave souls-tcha."

Hang Ten!
"Ja na, mina-san! We're outie!! Whoo-hoo! San Dimas High School Football Rulz!"

-"That they were, cat. They came, they saw, they conquered. I think they all had a really good time too^_^ I know I did (despite the waiting and stuff of course, although we did meet a bunch of fun people that way). As they Guests stood up one last time *sniff* they received a huge standing ovation that lasted for well over the pause between Rei and Asuka in in the elevator. I hope they understood how much we all enjoyed them.
  Then they left (I didn't really see how) and all the con-goers who remained in the auditorium found themselves face to face with the Gripe Session. Whoa! You could just feel a chill take over the room!"

"Uh, sir?  Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!"
"Uh, like why is the sky blue? I hate blue. And why is it so dang smoggy? Why don't you do something about that?!?!"

-"Neow. People asked the dumbest questions (big surprise). I can never understand that. I mean, they have the people who run the con right there in front of 'em and they choose to waste everybody's time with dumb questions which if they actually thought for a fraction of a second before they asked it they'd figure it out forthemselves. Anyway, a little over 100 fanboys and girls remained at this point at around 7:10 (ironically it was the closest panel to starting at its published time). The cool thing was that the con-runners were like 4 feet above the people asking the questions."

-"People offered suggestions on how to get more out of the con (by making it a week long or possibly twice a year), but the eyes of the con-people just bugged out at that thought and some began shaking their heads violently while mumbling, 'No, no, no, no....' That was cool@_@
  Then we found out why there was no AXTV... I think they said that the hotel didn't like the idea (?), but then they said that they were too close to Disney Land where a lot of big wig Japanese players come and they didn't want any legal trouble. My solution would then be to get permission from one company to show maybe one or two series in their entirety. I wouldn't think that would be too hard (and it might generate interest in the show enough to have a US distributor sign it. See, everybody wins^_^). But then they said that they got 5 theaters to play more stuff to cover the lack of AXTV... they just forgot to point out that those theaters only played oooooold stuff. Oh well."

-"Then the question of how to fix the 'unfair autograph raffles' came up, but Oni-chan and I had to go to catch Franco for a ride back to LAX where I was sure that the portal back to our world was still open-tcha. We then went back into the hotel for one last time to survey the damage and retrieve our luggage.

Burn, baby BURN!
The main battlefield was decimated. The charred remains of the registration desk were a brutal reminder that only the strong will survive these vicious confrotations and walk away with their pride.

A moment of silence, please.................
The Dealers' Room had been plundered and the victors made off with all that they could carry in their chubby fanboy hands. The end result was dismal sight indeed.

  The dumb-ass bellboy who marked me before delivered our bags to us and we killed him. Then we waited for Franco to show up so that we could actually get to the airport more than a minute before the plane took off (like that insanity that Oni-chan pulled last Expo). It finally pulled up and the driver packed our tired butts inside like a can of oishii sardines."

-"Oh-My- Gawd! The ride back to the airport was the most painful hour of my life! We had to share 'Franco' with a threesome of fanboys who, first of all, hadn't bathed in at least two weeks, and second of all would NOT SHUT THE F*** UP!!!! The worst part was their supposed 'leader' (I use that term veeeeeery loosely) didn't know what the hell he was talking about!
  The driver didn't know any better and he asked el numero dorko 'What he was in town for'. The moron went into an information-incorrect shpiel about the history of anime and manga (which he pronounced 'Aye-knee-my' and 'Mayn-gee').... I tried to rip his head off without his knowing but Catsy stopped me (she didn't feel like spending another long night at an unfamiliar police station I guess). Then J-boy (the supposed leader) claimed that he 'used to live in Japan for four years,' and that, 'he was fluent in Japanese too!'... He couldn't even speak in English very well, and even Catsy was laughing at his incredibly lame attempts at getting the driver to pronounce the titles of shows in Japanese. I needed Tylenol BAD!"

-"Neow. It was sad. This J-boy misarticulated every single Japanese name or phrase or word he tried to speak! I didn't let Oni-chan kill him because I thought that the guy next to us in the van wanted to. He was at AX too and he kept whispering the correct titles and words that this moron mega-ton fanboy was trying to say to us. Then J-boy mentioned that he had been to the last four Daicon Conventions in Tokyo while he lived there the past four years to which the nice man next to us took it upon himself (thank God!) to inform the rest of us that the Daicons were not very regular and were usually spaced over a year apart and that they hadn't been in Tokyo for a while if ever-tcha. I began laughing really loud at that point, but it was okay because everybody (but baka-boy) joined in too^_^"

-"Ugh! If only he had shut up then! Instead his friend took the point and changed the topic of conversation to computers.... Guess who happened to be an expert in 'Lye-neeks' and 'Uh-nicks'.... You guessed it. Man, if only the MegaPlayboy was there, it would have been fun to watch him flip his gourd.
  Anyway, we finally got to LAX but I was too tired to mangle his body or rip his spine out, so as we zoomed past this big, parked bus Catsy and I pushed J-boy's head out the window and let the laws of physics take over. We then arrived at our drop off gate"

-"This is when our PCD jumped into overdrive. We got to our flight gate and began to wait. Neow. Hmmmm, maybe we got there too early. Anyway, it had been over twelve hours since we last ate and I was getting hungry. It was then that I found something stuck in my (ample^_-) cleavage. It was a bit of hash brown from breakfast! I scarfed it down and the next thing I knew we were back in Georgia!"

-"Yup, Catsy fell right back into her 'magical' little world again. I didn't see her find the spud or I would have stopped her. Oh well. She began trippin' as I dragged her on to the plane the whole time she kept screaming 'Nakago, I love you!' at impromptu moments. I strapped her big butt to her seat and grabbed a pillow. I needed sleep bad... So of course I wouldn't get any."

-"The story of her life-tcha ^_^"

-"Shut UP, Catsy! Anyway, this annoying little bastard kid was literally running up and down the aisles screaming his lungs off while his crack-whore mom did nothing but softly whisper, 'Honey, could you be a little quieter? Good boy,' even though he would usually just get louder. With my eyes getting yanked open every time I try to close them, my ears constantly popping and a dazed and confused Catsy mumuring something about a giant peacock next to me I didn't even know why Jr. was screaming in the first place. It was a miserable enough flight already, but something made it 10Xs worse... the movie was Lost in Space! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrghh!!!!
  As we finally approached Atlanta I looked out the window and could see the city spread out before us like the veins of levitaion stone in a darkened cave... What a site!... Until Catsy started puking again."

-"Well I couldn't help it! That weird Chinese guy said I had to go back to my world and the fluxing of time and space distortion in the psycho-kinetic field that I traveled through made me a bit woozy. And damn was that sick little bastard child loud! I tried to trip him or punch him or kick him but he was fast too!"

-"Well, we finally landed at 6:00A.M. EST, which was really only 3:00A.M. PST, but we were kind of in between both zones because of our screwed up sleeping schedules this past weekend, so I don't really know what time my body thought it was.... It was just tired!
  As we were walking off the plane I saw the little loudmouth race ahead of us and trip himself (I didn't even have to do a thing ^_^) right outside the plane door! Nobody, not even the stewardesses would help the little prick up! Ha ha! Catsy even laughed like Nelson at him while I stepped on his vertabrae on the way off... That gave him something to scream about!"

-"Neow. We got our stuff and went to the curb to find a nice and clean taxi (this took us a while). Then Oni-chan pulled the driver through his almost closed window and tossed him into the street. It was a relaxing drive back to Athens what with both of us falling asleep and all, and I was dropped off at my place at around eight. Oni-chan then ditched the car and set it on fire before she went back to her cell-tcha."

-"Mulder must've found me passed out right outside the dank and smelly basement door leading back to my cage, because I woke up the next day and found myself locked back up with a new military-like ultra lock on my cell door. But I was elated to find that he didn't search me 'cause I still had my CDs and manga on me^_^
  Anyway, the next week was somebody in the club's birthday and the whole gang showed up(strangely so did the Rossman) for a party right outside my cage (and none of the freaks even offered me any snacks or nothin'! Grrrrrrr!). Everything seemed to be going great until somebody offered the Rossman a slice of cake! The next thing we knew he was crouched up in a fetal position at everybody's feet crying his eyes out like the little girl that he was! Whatta wuss!"

War is DEAD!
The War was over... For now.


You can't come this far and just quit!  Go to page 5!

 Part 1: 7/02/1998 The Mysterious Beginning
 Part 2: 7/03/1998 The Mysterious New Century Expo
 Part 3: 7/04/1998 The Mysterious Experience
Part 4: 7/04/1998
Part II
The Mysterious CosPlay
Part 5: 7/05/1998 The Mysterious End

 The dawn of the night

 the next night

 Go back into the past Mysterious Day.

 Go forward into the darkness. Check out the DEAD Ultimate UGAnime Homepage.

 The dawn of the night

 Go back to the beginning of the Mysterious Expo.

-"Or you could check out the first recorded exploits of a lil' demoness at a con at the Excellent Adventure @ AX97 site. You will not remember when you had this much fun without giving any fan-boys major flushies!"

-"Or you could read all about when the both of us trashed out North Carolina in the name of Animazement98 during our Wild Ride To, At and From it."

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If you feel the overwhelming need to get in touch with me (or even Oni-chan), just give the message to Ayeka and Ryoko, and as soon as/if we get it you can be sure that one of us will laugh at you E-Mail Me Here!

"Catsy" the generic catgirl is a copyright © of (1998)