Part the Fourth: That is a question you should ask yourself, Megatron!

Part the Fourth
(Part 2)

7/04/1998 The Mysterious CosPlay
(As told by Oni-chan and Catsy)

War- Uh! good God- what is it good for?
Quite by accident, the Allies discovered a new prototype weapon. Even more toxic than the dreaded Mustard Gas and Agent Orange this was chemical warfare at its worst. The only problem was that nobody knew how to properly contain the intangible substance and it became responsible for the foul end of many an Otaku.

-"The CosPlay continued. After Belldandy and her sibs took a bow to their heavy applause a 'Chang Wu Fe' took the spot light. You know something, Cat, I don't even remember who the hell he was. His name doesn't even sound familiar. Oh well."

-"Uh, do we owe him money? I usually forget people I need to repay. Anyway, then came the skit 'Akira and his Bikers'-tcha..... They didn't even know who they were supposed to be! Ha ha ha ha! Oni-chan, Ken-chan and I laughed our asses off (they should have named themselves 'Kaneda and his Bikers') and not because of their corny lines. Baka baka.
  Neow. Then we were treated to a new Omake Theater with some Blue Seed guys. They walked out and said, 'Skits suck' and walked out. Short and to the point."

You go Kusanagi.  Please!
Yeah, well only some skits suck.

-"They really made their point ^o^
  Then Emu Phillips came out and tried to impersonate Kamui from X. Tried.
  After him Vincent Valentine and Ranza (from FF Tactics) got together while waiting for Cloud and left when they remembered that they had to save the planet.
  You know, Catsy, I've been thinking. How much would it actually take to hire a professional to write you a 30 second skit that a). actually made some sense b). made people laugh with you or c). made the audience say something like, 'Well, at least they put some effort into it'?"

-"Neow. My guess is that it would still be a helluva lot cheaper than the price of total embarassment and humiliation in front of several thousand screaming fans and a lot more people after it's been posted on certain web sites. But those're just my thoughts on it ^_-
  Then the cutest Super Sailor Saturn actually came out and sang the Sailor Saturn Theme Song in Japanese while her mommy held up sub-title cards for the audience to read."

Don't make me have to use this!!
Sub it, don't dub it!

"Oh solo mio...."
Mistress Nine, we salute you... Now please don't try to kill us, 'kay?

-"The emcee then informed us that this was the first step in actually realizing otaku's dreams and having all reality subtitled! Cool! I'm there!
  Then a pretty funny skit came on as Mr. Satan started bragging about how unbeatable and all powerful he was.... well, until Trunks showed up and Mr. 'S' paid him off not to beat him. Apparently he forgot to bribe Supah Saiyajin Trunks too, cause he came out all powered up and kicked the big 'S's arse! I'm disapointed that I didn't get a shot of this one dammit! It was actually cute."

-"Yeah, I liked it too ^_^ After the DB players got off, the Rurouni fashions put on their show. Ha ha ha.... Great. Another fashion show. Fonny. Then came out one of my faves of the night (and for many reasons too-tcha!). Without any further ado, heeeeeeeere's Hanson!

He finally got a head in life, huh?  (I know, I know. It's the second time I've used that one.  So sue me.)
Mmmmmmmm bop!

  It turned out that Hanson had heard that some annoying punk ass kids were using and ruining his great name, so he had to take matters into his own hands! (And yes, those are the heads of Hanson in is clutches^_^). He rocked! Too bad he didn't meet up with Grandis earlier, she may have helped him."

-"Kitty, what is you major malfunction? Have you heard a word I've told you about 'Grandis'?... Ah forget it!
  After that came...... a loooooong pause in our regular programming. We were asked to make that emergency test signal sound while they tried to find the next contestants. I don't know how they ever missed them as there were about twenty of them in the skit! Finally after 3 false starts it was a go! It was Final Ball 7 1/2!!!! It was actually okay as the worlds of DB, Ranma and FFVII collided for the ultimate fighting-action game!

Death, destruction, dismay!
Go on, Genma! Hit 'em with your stick!

  It was silly, but it was well put together and colorful. Me gusta! When they were done Nurse Angel Ririka came onstage and sang her ending theme. Catsy and I got really excited about seeing the real Ririka! She was cool, although she didn't bring Seiya with her."

Na na na na, na na na na na da da, na na na na, na na na na!
"I am Nurse Angel Ririka! On behalf of the hospital, I shall right wrongs and triumph over sickness. And that means otaku!"

-"Neow. She's rugged! After she was finished singing and took her bow Washu-chan, Tenchi and some wood came on. Washu-chan got tons of applause ^_^ She then went on to tell us that the reason they were up there was because the two guardians were just too big to sit in with the audience and they wanted to see what all the fuss was about.... Okay, it weren't that clever, but to finally meet Washu-chan was cool^_^

I couldn't get a good picture inside the cosplay, so I just caught them right outside the doors.
-"I am Tenchi Masaki, and this is my wood."
-"Tenchi, I think that mine's bigger than yours."

  Neow. Then came something that every CosPlay should have: An Arsène Lupin III skit^_^  I just need me some good old Monkey Punch style hi-jinks at every con I go to (what a disappointment when I get none!). Anyway, this time it turned out that Lupin and gang were stuck in the Cartoon Network @o@  Zenigata finally caught up with the main man himself when Jigen popped up outta nowhere and demanded that the Inspector 'arrest him now!' It then turned into a 'Bugs' thang and in the end the Z-man arrested Jigen 'now' and dragged the bearded one away while he muttered 'You're disssssspicable!' Ha ha ha ha ha^_^ I tell you, you could just have Lupin sitting on the can and the skit would be hilarious!!!..... That's just hypothetical of course. Please don't ever really do it or I'd really have to eat your spleen."

"Eh, what's up, dork?"
-"Did you ever get the feeling that you were being watched?... By thousands of eyes, staring at you and watching your every move?... Look, there, out in the audience."

-"After that, everyone in the auditorium became dead silent as a 'squeaking' noise could be heard getting louder and louder with the regularity of footsteps. And then appeared on stage the mistress of destruction and the ever hungry sorceress in all of her glory as.........

Ha ha ha ha!  PicoPico Lina ROCKS!
I don't think this really needs a caption.

  'PicoPico Lina'!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! This was great! I just wish I had thought of this costume, it would have been so friggin' cool to be an SD Lina! Her shoes were the best too (that's where the squeaking came from)^_^ Oh man, I was ready to hand her 'Best of Show'.... If I had anything to do with the awards.... Which I don't.
  After Lina waddled off stage one of the weirdest costumes 'hopped' on. It turned out it was a Tsubasa in disguise as a mailbox (?) going after Ukkyo. It was weird, but I felt sorry for the poor transvestite when some rude chick dressed as Sailor Moon sitting behind us answered Tsubasa's question of 'Why won't Ukkyo ever go out with me?' with a 'Because you're butt ugly!'  Now, I of course own all of the Ranma 1/2 manga and I know the (supposed) joke, but if you're going to shout something out to the players up on stage make sure what you are about to say is either
a). damn hilarious or b). damn humiliating to them. Not that piss-poor excuse for a slander! The guy in front of us, however, got the idea and shouted back at the original commentor 'Sailor Balloon! That's not very nice!' Ha ha ha ha! Now that was funny^o^"

-"Heh heh! I laughed too^_^ Well, after the mailbox left the stage another (half assed attempt at a really gay) Fushigi Yuugi costume came up. I thnk it was Amiboshi, but even I couldn't be sure-tcha. I'm really getting tired of this. These morons don't even try to make decent costumes but they figure 'Neow, hey! Watase-sensei is gunna be there, so I'm sure to win!'. That is nothing but bull caca! Look at the pictures of the character first, and see if he/she at least has a cool costume, and then try to make yours look like it! That is the point of the contests! To look like the person you are supposed to be!!!! GRRRRRRRR!"

-"Kitty! Valium, now! Good. Okay, after that gaybee left we found Carrot, Tira, Chocolate and Noriko (of all people [but it was a good costume and you knew who it was!]) in a big ole mess. The two Bakuretsu babes were trying to reign Carrot in but he had it bad for Noriko. He/she actually flashed Carrot once *_* It was chilling to say the least."

-"Neow. Well, I always thought of Carrot-chan as sort of like a toned down Moroboshi. I was surprised to see him fall for a guy in disguise. I mean, Ataru would never fall for something like that. Hmmph!
  Well, when they were done we were treated to 'Eva Unplugged'. Kaworu and Rei found out that they really were alike in more ways than one! They even like the same coffee (which they were pimping)! Kooky.

"Hmmm, ya know Rei, These plug suits are, uh, pretty revealing huh?"
Ken-chan said that Rei 'Got back!'... Baka baka.

  I gotta try that brand some day."

-"Catsy, you know that Dr. Ross said that you couldn't have any more caffeine or any other kind of stimulant because of your, er..... condition."

-"Neow. I haven't had any coffee in three months and I spend every waking hour of my miserable and painful life reliving that one simple single instant in my memory when that supposed doctor gave me that f***ing recommendation and now here I am about ready to explode if I don't get at least a stupid single itty bitty drop of pure Columbian goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrr! Trust me I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-"................Uh, th-the next players were the Hame Kame Twins (?) from Dragon Ball Z. Their costumes were really cool and bright, it's just that I never saw the manga before so I don't really know who they were or the reason for their nicely choreographed dance that they performed. But it was cool^_^

Sorry folks, one show only.  We'll be in Vegas in a week!
"Ta daaaaaaaaah! Now we must kill all of you who just witnessed our ceremonial 'Dance of the Doomed'. No hard feelings (but wasn't it worth it?)"

  Then came our good friend from the ADVision booth yesterday, Naga the White Serpent. Brief, but she cut to the chase."

"Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
Oh yeah, Ken-chan said "Oishii!" *Sigh*....

-"Damn, she had talent! After that Ashitaka came out and did something. Then came the final skit of the evening (Holy crap did that seem to fly by!), 'Crazy People': Tomo and Soi from Nakago's evil kingdom just showed off their manicures to us-tcha. They were cool costumes though.

"Check out Tomo's manicure.  $45.  Can you believe that?"
"Nani?!?! Nakago was your boyfriend?!?! But aren't you a guy?"
-Next on Springer: Betrayals on the war front. How do two friends who dress weird and share the same lust for a man stay friends?.... One shall stand, one shall fall.

  Neow. Then the judges left to tally up the winners and hit the head (maybe not in that order-tcha). We were then left to witness some really cool stuff from the 3-D computer modeling and animation show that was also going on that weekend (don't ask, I really don't know much more beyond what we saw)."

Rolllllllllllllllllll that clip!
"Is this the one with the moving pictures?"

-"Some of the stuff they showed was cut-ass rugged! Especially the first skit about the down under rodeo and the Mary and Joseph thieves riding the rocket ass (donkey) into space 'cause they were also wanted for robbery.... or something. Holy crap was that funny! I gotta try me some of that 'Evil Beer'^_^
  Let's see, a few of the highlights from the 3-D show were 'How to Pick up Beach Babes' (by Motley Crüe no less), '2098 Tokyo Olympics: Mach Sumo' with the Supah Sumos on Ice, 'Panda Hunting' ^o^, 'When You're Not Looking' with the ballerina and the soldiers (it's not what you think ^_-), 'Java Noir' and the very sadistic 'In the Oven'. There were some really nice entries! I was surprised."

-"Neow. I wasn't, but then I love all CGI shtuff. It's nifty-tcha.
  After we ran out of 3-D stuff to show while the judges were taking their sweet-ass time getting back (Oni-chan and I bet on where they actually were. I said a bar and she said 'Carl's'.... I think I won) half of the crowd actually started to get up and leave! This was unbelievable! Even though it was 10:30 and the music videos were supposed to start soon, they had to 'uv known that nothing could possibly happen with the entire con crew still inside the auditorium. Fanboys are baka and impatient-tcha."

-"Yeah... What she said. Anywho, the judges finally returned (like prodical little sons) and started to hand out the awards. First were the Honorable Mentions. Rei and Asuka, Larva, Pico Pico Lina, the Pissed-Off Sailor Saturn and the 'Crazy People' skit with Tomo and Soi all received one. Eh, I guess they deserved them. Although I thought that the Lina should have gotten much more."

-"Yeah! She was sooooooo kawaii^_^
  Then came the Best Costume and Performance By Someone Under 13. The Super Sailor Saturn with Subtitles got that one :) The odd thing was that there were a lot of performances by under 13 year-olds. Are otaku really getting that much younger? That's freaky.

 Kill him!  Kill everybody!  You have the power!
"Gee, mister, it's just what I wanted! Now I can get that Urotsukidoji Complete Box Set I've been saving for^_^"

  Well anyway, she got a $50 gift certificate from SyCo Distribution to use at their table in the Dealers' Room. Cool!
  After that was the 2nd Runner Up. That went to the four witches."

-"They were the Magic Club chicks and that guy in a dress you friggin' furball! Pay attention more! Anyhow, they got a $50 Syco gift certificate too.
  Then came the 1st Runner Up, and of course that went to Eva Freidel. As she accepted her $100 SyCo thingy she let one more high one out that shattered a few chandeliers (one fell on Murasame, but he was alright [all things considering]).
  Then came the Judges' Awards. They told us that they decided these before all the other judgings and such. These were non-merchandise awards that the judges just happened to like for different reasons. For instance, Scott Frazier chose to honor 'non-violence' and nice and colorful costumes, so he gave his to the Mahou Tsukai Tai chicks (and guy)."

"Gimme a hug^_^"
Here she is!... Miss Anime!

-"Neow. Then another judge gave his award to the Kenshin Fashion Show because.... hell I don't know. He just did.

"What?  This isn't the line for Metallica?!?!"
-"Okay, ma'am. Which one was he? We picked everybody you see here up off the streets minutes after it happened. It has to be one of them, ma'am."
-"Oh, I don't know! They all look the same to me. All I can remember is that it was a 'freak'!
-"Yeah, that'll narrow it down."

  Then the final judge (who was also a translator) gave his award to the Grandis-look-alike chick from Mag Rose. She already had too many pictures so we didn't take another one-tcha.
  After she left the stage again the judges began announcing the rest of the winners. Neow. For Best Craftsmanship, Priss won for her cool battle armor.

Check out those shoes!
"You like me! You really like me!!"

  For Best Presentation, the Hame Kame Twins of course^_^ They could easily be on Broadway! Maybe they could team up with that opera singer. And finally, for Best in Show and $200 to go along with their large crystal plaque, the 3 Goddesses! Damn did they deserve it^_- They were cool and I just love their song!"

3, count 'em, 3 goddesses for number 1!
Neow. I wanted Skuld's mallet bad! It was cool :)

-"Wow! Now that was how you put on a CosPlay! I was totally impressed, and you know that is not an easy thing to have happen. And I think that that Kenshin group got the judges' award for best costumes. After the awards, everybody got back up on stage for a jumbo jumbo picture taking opportunity.

Look at all those posers.

  Anyway, after that was all over almost everybody ran back into the hotel, but we stuck around and got to meet some of the players after they were all drained of all addrenaline in their bodies.

First we met some SD Senshi (Kawaii!). Catsy wanted to take them home with us, but she didn't really have any room at her place and my cage is cramped enough as is. Oh well.

Check out Skuld's face and then look at everybody else's.  I swear it looks like she could be saying that^_^
"Turn that camera the **** off or I'll beat the living **** outta ya with my megaton hammer! Got it?!?!"

I'm not going to mention what Murasame said about this pose.
I guess a girl's gotta have her secrets.... Although I wish it weren't about where she got those great boots!

  Anyway. After we mingled for a bit we decided to head back into the hotel and catch the music videos. As we were walking out the door we noticed that Murasame was nowhere to be seen. Catsy threw a little hissy fit about leaving him but I was able drag her fat butt back to the main video theater for the video contest.
  There was a super mega hyper bloody line already waiting to get in, so we just sat down and waited with everybody else. It only lasted for about 20 minutes though. Nice and painless. We got into the theater (which fit everybody who waited and still had empty seats) at around 11:30. Then the ass kicking commenced!"

-"Ne-yah! This was the greatest video contest I've ever seen! This was glorious-tcha!!!! There were 24 music videos (8 per category [Comedy, Drama and Action]) and of them only around 3 didn't float my boat any-tcha.
  First up was the Comedy category:"

Slime Creatures from Outer Space by "Weird Al" set to various. Uh, this needed some heavy editing. It could have been great but it needed to be a whole lot tighter.
Dangerous by Roxette set to Dirty Pair Flash. Neow. Was this the same one we saw at 'Mazement? If so, I truly didn't appreciate it back then. It was cool with lots of 'splosions^_^
Stick Shifts and Saftey Belts by Cake set to a lot of cars and stuff. This one rocked the casbah past its foundation! If it wasn't for the next one it surely would have won.
Beautiful Life by Ace of Base set to Golden Boy^_^ Heheh. This was funny and well timed even though I normally don't like "Bouncy-bouncy" chicks in my anime or videos. I liked it! It even had some of the best lip-synching I have ever seen (I hope ADVision was taking notes).
Nasty Habits by Oingo Boingo set to various (but a lot of Maison Ikkoku ^o^). Ha ha ha ha! I thought it was funny!
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Eric Idle set to Stink Bomb. Daaaaamn funny ^_^ The ending was a little abrupt, though-tcha.
On My Own by Green Day set to Tenchi, Ayeka and Ryoko. Could 'uv used a lot more 'kick' to it.
And then another Golden Boy one with music by, uh..... Gomen! Neow. Now even though it came after that great piece we saw earlier and used a lot of the same scenes this video actually held its own. I was pleasantly surprised!

-"Needless to say, when it came time for the crowd to vote by applause the Golden Boy one set to Ace of Base won. Not too shabby.
  Next came the Drama category:"

Neow. Some classical muzak (Flight of the Valkyries?) set to Porco Rosso. This was a great interpretation of the music and the movie! Well done!
Pioneers by Yawn-ee set to various. Uh, it was okay, but there was way too much real-life black and white footage of those old movies where people try to use ridiculous contraptions to fly.
The Mission Imposssible Theme set to GIANT ROBO! KICK ASS! The only problem with this was that only episode one was used. It would has been ten times cooler if they had at least up to 6 (100Xs if they had 7 too ^_^).
Because You Loved Me by Celine set to a whole lotta Miyazaki. This is still a moving video *sniff*! (No, I'm uh, not crying. I just thought of how the Mouse's going to mangle the films from this video for the States).
I Love You (Always Forever) by Donna Lewis set to Tenkuu no Escaflowne. Ne-ow! Holy crap was this a great video! I needed to see it again right after it played!
Kiss From a Rose by SEELE set to Tuxedo Kamen stuff. I thought it was good, but Catsy LOVED it.
Wings by Jeff Osborne set to Miyazaki shtuff. Once again another piece done with the same premise as one before it with a lot of the same footage to boot, but it still kicked booty!
ShinSeiki Evangelion set to some cool opera-type music. This was the coolest Eva video I've ever seen! It was paced so perfectly that some of its timing was better than the original!

-"The crowd cheered for all of them, but they cheered for the Evangelion video most^_^  It did rock. After the Drama category came the final set of the night: the Action videos-tcha!"

She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby set to a bunch of stuff including Sharon, Birdy and Ai. I liked it a lot!
Project Kenshin set to some J-Pop song (Wasn't that cheating? It was kinda like that one video we saw a while ago with the Saved By Science song from Robotech). Neow. It was okay, but couldn't they get any more episodes to use other than the first eight? That was pretty weak.
Project A-Ko SuperRad (that's all I remember about what it was about). Okay.... But A-Ko is A-Ko though.
Some classical musik set to Escaflowne. It was sweet, but a little too short. I wanted to see more!
Stir Fried Tekken set to techno, of course. Su-Goi! I liked it a whoooole lot! Nifty idea (I wonder if that FF kid from 'Mazement had a hand in this).
Real Thing by 2Unlimited set to various sci-fi, fantasy and action pieces (that all seemed to merge well too!). Using all those different genres was a chance, but it was for the best^_^
That new Madonna song Quicker Than a Ray of Light (or something) set to Nausicaä. This totally surprised me! The action sequences they chose fit perfectly with the song!
And then the Queen arrived! And her name was Eva Freidel (Grandis' twin). The cool techno song Phantom of the Opera set to scenes from Magnetic Rose. Neow. When we first get to see a pic of Eva the whole theater just began to cheer remembering the CosPlay Eva just a little while earlier ^_^
After this masterpiece played there was really no reason to vote in the Action category.

-"After all the videos had played they took a short break to rewind all of the tapes so that they could play the winners again for the crowd to vote for the Best of Show. Catsy and I took that time to check out the Midnight Madness playing next door to see what was going on. It was around 1:40 A.M. The MM theater was showing Cowboy Be-bop to a crowd of about ten people, which was really bad 'cause this show looked great! I can't wait till it's fansubbed over here!
  A little while later we went back into the Music Video room and watched all of the winners again. After that was done we found out that the Phantom of the Opera won^_^ It deserved it. It was only then that we were told that the three winning videos were all made by the same guy! Now he's got talent blowing out his butt!"

-"After all the videos were said and done, Oni-chan and I discussed our next phase for Ultimate Anime Enjoyment (UAE): Getting a copy of every ass kicking music video ever made!!!!!!..... But then we came back to reality and realized that that weren't ever gunna happen-tcha. So then we just sat back and watched some Fast Food Freedom Fighters and T3: Jury Duty until we got tired.... Then we crashed. It was 3:00A.M."

You can't come this far and just quit!  Go to page 5!

 Part 1: 7/02/1998 The Mysterious Beginning
 Part 2: 7/03/1998 The Mysterious New Century Expo
 Part 3: 7/04/1998 The Mysterious Experience
Part 4: 7/04/1998
Part II
The Mysterious CosPlay
Part 5: 7/05/1998 The Mysterious End

 The dawn of the night

 the next night

 Go back into the past Mysterious Day.

 Go forward into the next Mysterious Day.

 The dawn of the night

 Go back to the beginning of the Mysterious Expo.

-"Or you could check out the first recorded exploits of a lil' demoness at a con at the Excellent Adventure @ AX97 site. You will not remember when you had this much fun without giving any fan-boys major flushies!"

-"Or you could read all about when the both of us trashed out North Carolina in the name of Animazement98 during our Wild Ride To, At and From it."

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LINKS to the Universe!

If you feel the overwhelming need to get in touch with me (or even Oni-chan), just give the message to Ayeka and Ryoko, and as soon as/if we get it you can be sure that one of us will laugh at you E-Mail Me Here!

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