Ho-ho-holy fucking shit! It's Christmas Eve, mothafuckas! The good news is that there's a new NESticision about religion, and a Christmasy Daily for you today. The bad news is that due to the new job and the move there probably won't be any new updates till mid to late January. Sorry, bitches, but my computer will probably be in mothballs during that time, and I'll be stressed out of my gourd anyway, so just be patient and wait. Don't worry, I'm not like those other web pussies out there who "take a break" for 2 to 7 years, I'm not sick of writing, and I will be back.
In the meantime, why not take this time to stop using Internet Explorer and upgrade to FireFox or that new Google browser. Seriously, I'm fucking sick of seeing that 44% of you fuckers are still using IE. IE is the devil! This simple CSS page [that you're reading] right here doesn't even look right on IE7! It's the most basic CSS-designed page one can fucking make, and yet IE7 fucks it up... Really now.
Oh, and to make up for my lack of updates for a while, here's the opening scene from one of the greatest Santa movies ever made: Santa's Slay. Wake the kids and have them watch with you!
Happy birthday, JK! And remember, the offer is STILL on the table. Think it over... roll it around in your brain before giving a final answer.
I have a new Real Drive Anime Review and Rating for you today. No driving in it at all... I really wonder if those crazy Japs meant to say "Real Dive." I guess we'll never know, because if they did mean that, as soon as the mess up is brought to their attention those responsible will be forced to perform seppuku, and the head honchos will cover it all up. Enjoy!
Lick my nuts, Marty! It CANNOT be this late in the year already!! No fucking way!!! Fuck. I guess I'd better get my Christmas decorations up... At least I would if they weren't all in boxes and shit, waiting for the move. Ugh. Kill me now. I can't believe I'm not allowed to have even ONE tree up, or ONE Santa Claus statuette up at all this year ("They might scare off Jewish or other people who might want to buy your house," says my retarded real estate agent... I don't want any Santa-hating freaks in my house, dammit!). The worst part is that I can't watch Santa's Slay, Die Hard, Home Alone, or Always My Santa this year, as my DVDs (and my big ass plasma TV) are all in storage. FUCK!
I saw this a few months ago but only got around to reviewing it now, so without further delay here's my Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad Anime Review and Rating. Other than that I'm busier than Sam Malone in a "Virgin Vow" ceremony as of late. I got a new job and have got to move soon. Moving sucks. You've got to pack all your shit up in boxes and store it all somewhere else while strangers walk through your castle and poke and prod and say how it's not good enough for them... Unless you knock off another $5,000 on your asking price. Fuck YOU, asshole buyers! Just buy my house NOW! It's a nice house! Don't be dicks!
Finally done with my Expedition Scotland Examiner Article. The Last Two Pages are up now. Then go get ready for Thanksgiving. Eat some turkey, loosen your belt, rip a few in your sleeping grandpa's face because you can't hear the game on TV over his snores... Just have a good old-fashioned family Thanksgiving! Then fast for a week to make up for your gluttony... Pig.
A rare Thursday entry, but I don't care, so you shouldn't either. I just wanted to share with you my latest date/stalking adventure with my Sarah. A Daily Sarah awaits!
Oh, and despite there being an Uber-Week that begins tomorrow for me, there will in fact be an update next Wednesday. I'm almost done with my Scotland adventure, and that will go up next week. See, I DO love you. Forget what your shrink tells you! Fuck him!
Crivens! Check back t'morrow if'n ye know wha's good fer ye. I had to go see me Angel of Music last night an' din' get in till 'boot midnight. I'll git somethin' oop on Thursday. Aye!
New black president this past week.... But who cares about that when there's a new Murder Mystery Daily up today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!11111!
I actually post my updates late Tuesday, so I have no idea who our new president is, but I do know that WE'RE SCREWED either way. Yay us!
To celebrate the beginning of our end, here's Pages 4 AND 5 of my Flashback - 1999: Expedition Scotland article. Oh, and why not... Here's my CLANNAD Anime Review and Rating for you as well. Who's a good booooy?
Yeah, it's almost Halloween. Here's a(n) (unfortunately not scary) When They Cry - Higurashi 2 (Solutions) Anime Review and Rating, and a NON-incriminatory Daily. And find out How To Kill Monsters here. Yeah, that's an old link. But it's spooky. I needed something spooky posted this All Hallow's Eve week.
Bloody hell... I just did too much this week. First of all here's Page 2 AND Page 3 of my Flashback - 1999: Expedition Scotland article. Oh, and A Bittersweet Life Movie Review and Rating. That'll keep your tank full for a week.
9 years in the making! Today I bring to you part one of my newest Examiner piece known as Flashback - 1999: Expedition Scotland. Tell me doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the fifties, or 1999?
Lelouch is back and is his typical badass self in my newest Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion - R2 Anime Review and Rating. And there's a typical Explosive Daily up today as well. Same old, same old there.
It is done... Macross Frontier that is, and that means a Macross Frontier Super Dimensional Anime Review and Rating.
And an Examiner article to top them all! New Versus Old: To the Death is ready for your reading pleasure.
Here! Are you HAPPY?!?!?! Take it! Just, just TAKE it! And don't forget to say THANK YOU!!! Jesus Effin' Christ! You ungrateful little piece of horse manure! It's a new Avatar - The Last Airbender Review and Rating for you! What?!? Not good enough for you?!?!?!?!?!? Don't make me take it back!!!!! And YES, I KNOW... It's a kids' show. It's still good. Breasts are made for kids too, doesn't mean that men and lesbians can't have fun with them....
This year is rolling along way too quickly. Time keeps on slipping by way too damn fast, both in work and in play. Fuck me... At least this means Thanksgiving will be here before I know it. Ahhhhh, I'm going to be aiming for an Über Zwei Weeks this year. Epic, no?
Today I have a Tower of Druaga - The Aegis of Uruk Anime Review and Rating, and a Jiminy Daily. Hot dog!
Got a new Frontier Daily for you today. It's been a helluva week, and it promises to be a ballshot-uva week this following one. And the struggle...... continues.
Next week... Nothin'. This week though, THREE things. First up, a bunch of back and forth banter over my review of Twilight. Then a new Moribito - Guardian of the Spirit Review and Rating. Finally, a MEATY Daily for you. Full of plenty of protein. Happy days.
Ugh... Trying to transfer everything to my new computer, write this shit for you, and still get my real job work done is a pain in the ass. But here you go: A new Spice and Wolf Anime Review and Rating and an Olympic Commie Party Daily for you. Great... Yeah... Just take it and don't even say "thank you...." Dick.
Got a brand new movie review about a movie that never really happened for you today. Read The Mummy - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Movie Review and Rating. Oh, and there's a Whorey Anime Letter in the Mailbag too!
Just a Draper-loving Daily today. You'll take it and you'll LIKE it! Or I'll MAKE you like it... Then I'll slap your bottom, kiss it to make it better, and stick my tongue down your throat. Just like Don would have done...
This is it! The moment you've all been waiting for! The Rossman's sex tape is finally going live!.... Wait, what?.... Hold on..... Oh man! I'm sorry, but it turns out that the IMAX camera that I borrowed for the recording just wasn't big enough... Sorry, folks. Instead here's a Batman Begins and The Dark Knight Review and Rating, and a Darker Than BLACK Anime Review and Rating for you. Two dark things that go darkly together!
Gooooooddammit. Well, that was apparently the THIRD thing that died: My air conditioning unit. Ugh, yet another burning summer that I had to do without it for a few days. Never pleasant, but it did lead to a new Daily about the hazards of dickweed companies. Also, a Brand New Examiner Piece about Rooting for DEATH: Why the Stupid Should Die. It's all good!
And I almost forgot! Chi-Chi finally got off his lazy ass and made a website! Check it out!.... After you read all my shit, of course. Chi-ChiMan.com!
Final word on the reunion... Despite an overwhelming amount of letters from readers telling me to go (which quite honestly I planned to do anyway), shit happens, and it just so happens to be splattering all over this upcoming weekend when the party is to take place. The winning response for "what I should do when I get there" is absolutely fucking beautiful though, and I plan to take the submitter's advice for the next reunion, when that pitters around in 5 years. I can't spoil it for you now... That would ruin it. It is simply genius! Thank you all for responding.
Well thank Christ for small favors... Nobody (of importance) died this past week. I was worried there for a minute; you know how "bad things come in threes"? Anyway, there's a new Kure-nai Anime Review and Rating up today (if you needed any more proof that Japan is fucked up, you will want to read it), and the promise of a new Examiner article next week... And with it, hopefully the repatriation of my site being the number one Google for "horse cock!" I can only hope.
What a week. Good and bad shit happened. First the good: A Good Movie Hopping Daily, and a good Shigofumi (Letters from the Departed) Anime Review and Rating. I know... I watch too much of this crap. I need to get out more. Blah blah blah blah blah...
Then the bad.... Uga VI fucking died. Jesus Christ! Who's going next week? "Weird Al"?! Is that it, God?! Is that how you're going to FUCK with me?! Fuck you!
Just a few months after I last promised them, but today I bring forth my most recent Daily Camp Notes! And a new Ghost Hound Anime Review and Rating. Jesus... I've really been watching too much crap lately.
Oh, and one final reminder to fill out the survey. Lots of good advice so far, but I just want to see if anybody has any advice that will top the Chief's and Jax's ideas. Hit me with your best shot. Fire awaaaaaay!
People of the World! Today, at lunch (or dinner if you got this late), there is to be a TOAST raised in honor of the late, great George Carlin. May he be making my grandparents laugh their asses off in the afterlife as we speak.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!"
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
"'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?"
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
"Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."......Ooooooo, sorry there, George. But we will remember you fondly, you old, crusty, magnificent bastard you!
The year is almost halfway over already. Shit. So much left to do, so much pizza yet to eat. Mmmmmmm, stuffed crust filled with delicious grease.....
Well, because you DEMANDED it, here's a brand new NESticision about Barack Hussein Obama Vs. John Fuddy-duddy McCain, aaaaaaaaaaand a new Dragonaut - The Resonance Anime Review and Rating. And don't forget the survey.
Survey's up. A very important, life-altering survey. 2 minutes of your time at most.
Then there's the new How To about How To Raise a Child. If that's not enough then how about a new Sword of the Stranger Anime Review and Rating? If that don't do it for you, then you're obviously at the wrong place.
Today I bring forth a new review... One based on 4 glorious movies! And this review shall forever be known as the Indiana Jones Quadrilogy Review and Rating. And it was good.
Yeah, sorry about last week... I just wanted to hang around my house and look up lots of porn. You understand how it is. But I got a lovely new Samoa Cookie Review and Rating and an Anti-Rossman Email for you today. I still love you... It's just that sometimes I need some me time... Me and some KY time... Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!
Fantastic weekend. I movie hopped from Iron Man into Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I played Mario Kart Wii, and... Well, that was enough. So here's my Iron Man Movie Review and Rating, and my Mario Karting Daily for you on this fine day. I'm going the distance! I'm going for speeeeeed!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriba! Es Cinco de MAYO! Sean Connery's favorite holiday.
Just one thing this week, but it IS a review of one of the biggest Japanese TV shows of last year: Toward the Terra the Anime Review and Rating. Camp Notes next week? Maybe? I don't know for sure, so no promises... Though I do feel bad for lying about them a few updates ago... I'm sorry, baby! Please believe me! I never meant to hurt you like that! If I meant to hurt you, you'd know it... Trust me. We're talking tire-iron to the side of the head or maybe making you watch the final season of Night Court via that Clockwork Orange chair.
Okay, forget what I said last week about Camp Notes... But instead I have a fantastic new Examiner Piece titled: 100 Things You Should Know About Me (the Rossman). It is the greatest thing you will ever read. Also, a new Just Kidding Dreamy Daily... Which reminds me, JK, if you're reading this, the offer is STILL on the table, baby! You know how to reach me.
Finally, a new look to the Daily is up and running. It's Amano-riffic! And also, one New Taxing Daily as well, just to celebrate. Hopefully a new Camp Notes next week. But only if you eat all your dinner and look up some healthy pr0n, okay? Deal?
I actually wrote this Philly Daily a week ago, but held it off until today. Because I FELT like it, OKAY?!!?!... And here's a new Bokurano Anime Review and Rating because this show is just so incredible. Honestly, the bad taste in my mouth from GaoGaiGar?... Gone. All thanks to Bokurano. All heil Bokurano!!!!
Just one thing this week: My GaoGaiGar King of Braves and FINAL Anime Review and Rating. Next week should be Philly-riffic though. I bet you can hardly wait.
See, I KEEP my fucking promises. The final Pirating the Caribbean:: The Curse of the Wolfman page is now up. It is most wondrous!.. Wonderous? Luther Vandross? God I'm tired. Have no friggin' clue what I'll do for next week.
Jeezus! It's been over 4 months since I started my Pirating the Caribbean piece and I'm still not done! Well, today I at least get one more page closer to the end. Hopefully things will wrap up next week. Maybe not... But until then here's Page 6 of Pirating the Caribbean:: The Curse of the Wolfman, and here's a Leapy Daily.
What a fucking week... Whew! At least it's Leap Year Day this Friday. That's always cause for celebration. In the meantime here's a Jade Warrior Movie Review and Rating, and a Jumper and Sola-riffic Daily. Rejoice!
Perhaps a little overdue, but at least I got its review done. I'm talking about my Lucky Star Anime Review and Rating. It's been out for a while, but it's still a good read. If you have the time. Nobody's forcing you. Yet.
A little bit later than normal, but I still got this week's update up on time. It's a brand newy Melancholic Daily. Fuck, this week has been tough as shit. I should have a new review up next week though... I'll try to review something by then.
I have three things for you this week, but probably nothing next week. So just space these out so you don't go into withdrawal. First up is the immaculately shitty Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei Anime Review and Rating; only recommended to masochists. Then comes Page 5 of my Pirating the Caribbean Examiner Piece. Finally, there's a Baccano! Daily. It's even worse than SZS... I don't know how, but it is.
Cloverfield in just a few more days. I'm jazzed. You know what I'm jazzed about even more? That would be seeing your excited little faces as you read my 4th Page of my Pirating the Caribbean Examiner piece that I just posted!!! So, if you're a hot chick under the age of 60, but 18 or older, send me a naked picture of yourself enjoying it! Then you can enjoy my Dennou Coil Anime Review and Rating. Mmmmmmmmmmmm...
Oh, and a tiny addition to my The War Is Over Now:: How Toshiba and Sony Screwed the Pooch With HD-DVD and Blu-Ray article from last week pertaining to the outselling of Blu-Ray movies over HD-DVD in the past week. It's near the bottom. Go on, read it! I looked it up on a website and copied it on mine just for you!!!
Hayao Miyazaki is an anime god. His son.... well, read all about Junior's premiere feature here, in my Tales From Earthsea Anime Review and Rating. Hot stuff! Also, I've had to push aside my Pirating Examiner piece in order to bring you this special and timely Examiner event: The War Is Over Now:: How Toshiba and Sony Screwed the Pooch With HD-DVD and Blu-Ray. It's actually educational. I KNOW! I never would have guessed something like that would appear here myself.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand a Happy New Year to you hosers. I'm still working on my DTs, so I've only got a quick New Year's Daily for you today. At least a never before seen anime review next week. And I'm still working on my new pay site. Just to test the waters, how much would you pay for a site with about fifty new pictures a day? How much if they were all of me?