Issue #28: Religion - Salvation? Crutch? Kick to the Balls?

Hey Doc, you ever pray to the big paisano in the sky? You know, when you were really desperate or somethin'?
Hmmmm, well, sometimes, I guess. Like when a patient is dying on the operating table right in front of me, and I know that he doesn't have any family members left to mourn him... And his insurance will only pay for medical care if the poor sap makes it out alive... Then I pray. I pray that he fills out his final paperwork to Medicare before he expires, or that the Blue Ax/Blue Balls Insurance company doesn't know a forged signature when they see it...
No... No, that's not really what I meant by--
Oh, and that one time I thought I left my prints on that dead baby. Oooooh, I'll tell you, there was a lot of praying that night.
Was that how MegaMan was born?
*Siiiiigh* I keep telling you, you were born when a goomba raped Mother Brain. Now shut up! I'm talking about fancy religious talk here with that angel kid!
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.......Well I pray whenever I fee--
Oh, and that time the Princess swore she missed her period. I was on my knees praying so hard. Well, I was on my knees begging Bowser to "accidentally" club her in the stomach with a baseball bat... But while I was down there I figured a quick prayer couldn't hurt.
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Oh ho ho! We all had a good laugh when it turned out that she was really just totally anorexic and never had her period again. She's as barren as World 2 in Super Mario Bros. 3! Ha ha ha! Good times...
Confound it! You blasphemous whipper snappers! Wait till I put this horse fucking a monkey on my giant boat and I'll tan your hides but good!
Oh, no need to lock those two pretty beasts up on our account... Here, let me get out my web-cam.
Holy Moses! It's the Bible's Noah!
That's right, my little angelic friend. I am NOAH! I'm here to tell you all about FAITH! When the Lord our God told me to butcher my first born son onto him I did it without reservations!
Ummmm, sir, I think that was somebody else. And like God actually stopped him in time before he killed the babby.
Yeah, God stopped HIM, but I'm not so good of hearing... You would have thought something that important would make the Lord speak up a little before the kid's body's already gutted and on the sacrificial flame... You know what I'm sayin?
See, that's my point: If it happens in the Bible, how the Hell can it be illegal?
Wait?! So you're a murderer, Noah, sir?!
What of it? Eve raped Adam, Moses killed every firstborn male in Egypt, and Solomon fucked all of his 100 servant girls every other night in a fantastic orgy... Who are YOU to cast the first stone?! I bet those wings on your back aren't even real!
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MegaMan thinks your horse is pretty.
Why THANK YOU, young man... At least somebody around here has some manner--
Remember when MegaMan had relations with that one horse? Megaman counts that as MegaMan's greatest day of all time.
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*Forlorn siiiiiiigh*
You're right... That DOES sound like the greatest day of all time.

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