MEEEEEEEERRY CHRISTMAS, motherfuckers! Here's a Christmassy Be A Dear in which we find out that Ms. Scarlett will eventually be joining me in Hell, and a new Fuck Churches Daily, which should solidify MY standing in the afterlife.
FINALLY... Here's three new Operation DOWNFALL - The Invasion of Japan for Otaku Purposes pages. Holy shit this took a lot out of me. I'm too tired to even look up pr0n right now. You guys BROKE me... You broke me.........
Two updates today: one old, one new. First up, the new thingy. It's a Nichijou - My Ordinary Life anime review and rating. Yay. Then comes my annual awesomefest The Truth About Santa Claus. More people need to read this... They NEED to KNOW the TRUTH.
Okay, I'm back. No new pages on Operation DOWNFALL yet, but I have a Daily about what's been keeping me busy since the last real update. Read my Turkey Day 2011, and Flashback Turkey Day 2007 Daily here. Then pity me.
Here's a review that I started about a year ago, but that doesn't mean it's not timely. It just means I'm lazy. Whatever. Read my Macross Frontier movies: The False Songstress and The Wings of Goodbye anime review and rating.
And so it begins. The first 2 pages are up formy newest Examiner Piece: Operation DOWNFALL - The Invasion of Japan for Otaku Purposes. Many, many, many more to follow. Probably well into next year.
I'm back, baby! I went to the Land of the Rising Sun for 2 weeks, and it was good. I'll be posting a loooooooooong report on that sometime in the future, but until then, here's my Hanasaku Iroha Anime Review and Rating for you because I is awesome!
In order to make up for a lack of anything new next week, here's TWO THINGS! Holy shit I'm not even kidding! How awesome is that?! YOU SHOULD GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND KISS MY ASS! First is a sequel review of sorts to last week's anime review: My Usagi Drop Manga Review and Rating. Suffer. Then, there's a new British sci-fi horror yarn in the form of Attack the Block that I review and rate because it is awesome. Go now, spread the word.
I played mind games with my own body, and my life on the line for the past few weeks... What have YOU done, pussy? Read all about it in an Allergic Daily here, then read up on why I'm trying to impregnate as many women as I can here, in my Usagi Drop Anime Review and Rating. What next?
Imagine, if you will, a world where the only hope for sorting out all the insanely twisted timestreams, and the only savior of the human race who could prevent World War III was a retarded Japanese scientist named Okarin. You've just journeyed into the Steins;Gate. Now read my Anime Review and Rating of it.
Homework for next week: Watch Usagi Drop. Weep like the little sissy boy/girl you are. Thank me later.
I saw the Line, and it opened up my mind. I saw the Line. Life is demanding, without understanding.... just what in the hell it was all about. So here, YOU try to figure it out. Read my REDLINE Anime Review and Rating.
Oh, and sometime in the next few months I'll be hitting Japan. Anybody got any good ideas for fun shit to do in Tokyo, Osaka, or Kyoto? Let me know.
My brain is melting. Not from the heat (it's actually quite pleasant outside right now), nor from the stupidity (though that's always a problem), just from the suck. Life sucks. We're all going to die. Ugh... So here's my newest Examiner piece, How in the FUCK did they...? Why would they? URGH!
Things got all geeky this weekend, but in a good way. Read my Dragon Con Daily to find out all about it. Then, because I'm rewatching it, go and read my old review on Eureka 7. Then read my review on the Eureka 7 Movie, and laugh at those poor fucks who actually had to waste a couple of years animating it. How in the FUCK did they...? Why would they? URGH!
I'm back, and I brought with me many wonderful and crimouloustrous gifts of pretty words in the form of A Very Shitty Daily, and a Y: The Last Man Comic Book Review and Rating. Bambutrilus!
I'm gonna level with you... I saw what you were doing just before coming to my site. It's the latest internet spyware, and you should be ashamed. And where did you even come up with the idea to google "female dwarf ambidextrous octopus overlarge-clit orangutan porn"? That's... Wow... Have you been whacking it so much that normal shit just doesn't cut it anymore? Speaking of abnormal shit, here's a new Korean Movie Review and Rating for I Saw The Devil.
August... Uuuuuuuugh. Time never slows down, kids, it just picks up speed. Next week'll be Thanksgiving. Fuck me. Anyway, here's a new Deadman Wonderland Anime Review and Rating for you, along with a Baby Birdy Daily all about the hazards of nature... or at least man's interference with nature. I swear I didn't know! I swear!!!
Holy turd sandwiches! Two big things this week! It's just like the good old days! First, here's a Gosick Anime Review and Rating for your unbelieving eyes, and then read every last word of my Captain America - the First Avenger Movie Review and Rating! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!
Think of the saddest thing ever. Go on. I'll wait.... You got it? Okay, what is it? How Justin Bieber gets more tail than you? No, that's not sad, that's pathetic. Try again. The movie Never Let Me Go having a baby named Sophie's Choice, only to miscarry it a month before delivery? Close, but not even that tops the sadness that is AnoHana. Well, beyond it being sad, is it any good, you wonder? You're going to have to read my AnoHana Anime Review and Rating about it to find out, genius.
Okay, this week I'm a little better rested and ready with a brand new Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko Anime Review and Rating, and a Killer Dream Daily. Now it's time to go out and.... um... do...... something! Peace out!
What the goddamn FUCK are you doing reading my newest Anime Review and Rating, The Borrower Arrietty!?! The Lord of the Rings Extended Editions just came out on Blu-Ray! Fuck! I'll understand, go watch those first! Jesus, people... It's called priorities!
This conversation happened. This is the kind of thing I cannot make up. And everybody involved was over 30 years-old. The fun part is in trying to figure out which character plays me in this edition of NESticision: An Actual Conversation.
I planned to get something else other than another review up for you all today, but life said "NO!" Then it bitchslapped me down. Then it peed on my rug. Then it shit in my good work shoes. Then it punched me in my cock. Then it made fun of my mother (who's a goddamn SAINT!). Then it poured bleach in my gas tank. Then it killed my neighbor's dog thinking it was mine. Then my neighbor called the cops on it and I was able to get some sleep. Then I posted my Super 8 Movie Review and Rating.
Infinite Stratos is neither "infinite" nor is it "stratospheric." Discuss. Better yet, just read my Infinite Stratos Anime Review and Rating. Bonjour!
Once again, busy as fuck, tired as hell, and came THIS CLOSE to not even doing anything this week. But then I got off my ass and threw this thing together in record time today. No, not a Pirates of the Caribbean movie review, but a Troll Hunter Movie Review and Rating. Go Norway!
It's fucking FREEZING in the South this whole past week thanks to goddamn Global Warming. Ugh. Well, to warm you up, kitten, here's a pretty and popular Puella Magi Madoka Magica Anime Review and Rating for you!
Well THIS week sucked moldy goat scrotum... Read all about why I only have one lousy Weather Tormented Daily up instead of anything more inspired.
Oh, Studio Bones! You know just how to do it, don't you! I'm talkin' 'bout my new Anime Review and Rating for STAR DRIVER. Feel the sparkly night sky for yourself! Then why not check out a Prom Daily. Relive the passion!
Do you like Studio Gainax's Fushigi no Umi no Nadia? Sure, we all do. Well, how would you like to see a review and rating of a remake of it called Fractale? Whoa, whoa, whoa... Not so fast. Are you sure?
I was going to do something else for today, but seriously just got a little annoyed at everyone shitting on this movie, so I decided to give my Review and Rating for Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. Honestly, what the fuck were people expecting from this thing? Gandhi? Schindler's Fucking List? It's exactly what it was advertised as, and then some. Jesus, people...
Here's a brand new couple of Be a Dear stories because Ms. Scarlett is awesome, and a new Phantom ~Requiem for the Phantom~ anime review and rating for you. There's a phantom in it if you couldn't tell. Phantom.
Okay, so Japan is sinking into the sea, the nuclear fallout from its dead and dying reactors is about to act like an Eye of Vogler and encompass the world, and we're still stuck in this endless recession that'll probably keep rolling along till at least the next election, but that's no reason you shouldn't have any new reviews to read. So here's a Serbian Film Movie Review and Rating, and a The Man From Nowhere Korean Movie Review and Rating. Bang, bang!
When I went to college I was given a set of luggage and a gas card to get me halfway there. I wasn't given the key to the new locks my parents put on the doors, nor was I given any real advice on how to live my collegiate life the best way imaginable. Well, I'm going to be there for my nephew, so here's the start of Advice for my 10 Year-old Nephew for when he eventually goes to college. Hopefully it'll be complete by the time he turns 18.
Oh! And a new front page rating system is now in effect for my Reviews and Ratings Page. Kokomo.
I'm here for you, baby. See, I watched this Shiki Anime, and am now Reviewing and Rating it for you, so that you don't have to! That's how much I care for you and hate myself. Oh, and Guin Saga blows, and don't even bother with the mess that is Ichiban the Demon King or whatever. Christ, so much bad shit out there now
Early update this week, all in honor of St. Valentine's Day! Here's my The Worst, Then Almost Greatest, Then Weirdest Fucking Thing I've Ever Been a Part of Examiner Article. I'm going to go out and buy some Dos Equis and drink myself into a coma now.
Still working on the two big articles, but in the mean time, here's a big, bad, black Black Butler 2 Anime Review and Rating....... Are you still here?
This week I was planning to have one of two articles I'd been working on up for you, and it would have blown your mind!.... But working through the weekend, babysitting nephews, and hunting unicorns for their mythical blood took up all my free time, so you'll have to wait for something new next week. Instead, in honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day holiday spectacular, I will force you to read my How To End a Relationship Guide. Ooooooh yeeeeeeeah. And why not, here's an older Summer Wars Anime Review because some people actually think it may be good.
All I have for you today is this look at a new Japanese movie that shat on my soul. Behold! My Live Action GANTZ Movie Review and Rating! Now let me wallow.
I don't have much time! They found me! I don't know how, but they found me! Run for it, and read my Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Season 2 and The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya Anime Review and Rating now!
Here we go again. The first shitty anime review of 2011, here's my Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt Anime Review and Rating for you, and my Southern Snowy Daily. I don't want you to think that I'm a Debbie Downer, but really, FUCK 2011. God I hate this year.
New Year, saaaaaaame old shit. Goddammit. Anyway, here's a colorful and new Katanagatari Anime Review and Rating for you, and a 2010 Daily Year-End Wrap Up (covering anime, movies, and books I've done over the past 12 months that I haven't covered before) that's just a week late. I don't want to hear anything from YOU though. This may be a week late, but YOU still haven't lost those ten pounds you said you would at the beginning of last year. So piss off.