Who's There?
Who's There?
first previousnext newest
Stuff we want to talk about
Monday, September 11, 2006

We're getting a lot of newbies over the past few days, so, um, if you're new, welcome. Enjoy your stay.

And just because people tend to write me up and ask who the people are in the picture frames that I have all around the Rossman's house I'll tell you that today's photo is of the great Jimmy Norton, the untitular third man on the Opie and Anthony Show on XM Radio.

Karen has previously mentioned that she wouldn't mind getting knocked up by the little man, but I'm afraid I'd most assuredly have to put my foot down on this one. Yeah, Jimmy would probably let me watch the whole episode of "rumble sheets" that would lead to a Jimmy Norton Jr, and he'd probably do his comedy act through out his bumping and grinding, which'd keep me laughing too much to prevent me from breaking up any hard core hanky panky and spanky they had going on -- but Karen, you do realize that he'd try to end it all with a giant Cleveland Steamer on your chest and face, don't you? And that shit would then get on the sheets and... gross! You know who'd have to wash that crap off, right? Yeah, ME! And that still wouldn't make those sheets clean... They'd NEVER be clean in my mind ever again. Even two gallons of bleach wouldn't be enough to make me forget that Jimmy Norton shat all over them.

And Karen, I think you're also forgetting about all the stuff he's done in the past. Wasn't there an ice-cube incident involving a porn star's poon and Jimmy's mouth? And what of all those stories he tells about "monster rain" and all those "massages" he pays for... If you think that Steamer would stay with us... Yikes!

Yes, Kare, I know you want the funnyman's baby, but I'm gonna have to say "NO." Sorry, hon. Why don't you settle for Patrice O'Neil's lovechild instead?

- the Rossman