Speed (p0rn0)Grapher
Speed (p0rn0)Grapher
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Stuff we want to talk about
Friday, August 11, 2006

First just let me say that I thought that Speed Grapher was an intense and incredible show. Over the fucking top, yes, but one of the most fun rides I've ever taken. It's got everything you could possibly want in an anime series: violence, sex, super powers, a James Bondsian hero, a damsel in distress, a secret, evil, all-powerful organization, and a villain with HUGE balls who has the moxy to pull off the coup of the century. Yes, the animation quality overall is kinda shitty (low frame rates and the characters fall off model quite a bit), but the story and characters make up for it. Oh, and the opening animation is the greatest ever put to film... Well, at least it WAS the greatest until FUNimation Entertainment, Ltd. brought it out over in the States and didn't bother to get the rights to the actual opening song. Bastards!

See, the show is all about this photographer who gets in WAY the fuck over his head in investigating a secret society that meets underground, away from prying eyes. So due to the hero's profession the Japanese production company made sure that they got the rights to the Duran Duran song "Girls on Film" to play as the background music for the opening animation of the show. They originally just played clips from the show behind the song for the first half of the series, but then the second half had some of the best timed, original animation drawn to perfectly match the beats and lyrics of the anthem making it one of the sweetest music videos I've ever seen! It's up there with that one animated Linkin Park video, "Breaking the Habit." But did FUNimation bother to get the rights to "Girls on Film" for the US release of Speed Grapher?.. Well, why would I be writing this if they did?

No, no they did not. Yeah, I'm sure that the rights to a real American band's song are a bit more expensive than those songs (that come with the typical Japanese show's package) usually shat out by whatever J-pop band the big production companies are idolizing that week in the Land of the Rising Sun, but seriously, FUNimation, if you can't bother to get ALL of the show, why bother getting it at all and bastardizing what you put out for your lovely fan base to buy? This just shows that you don't give a shit about the final product, and that pisses off the hard core fans... Which when you're talking about "anime" means "90% of them."

What FUNimation did with Speed Grapher is comparable to what DC Comics' manga division is doing to Tenjho Tenge (where they're adding bras to cover up nudity, and drawing over anything deemed innappropriate for minors... despite the fact that they KNEW before buying the rights to the manga that it was AIMED AT ADULTS). Why bother getting something if you don't plan to release it in its entirety (especially when it's as cool as the opening to Speed Grapher!). Haven't you learned from other companies' past mistakes? ADVision (with Eva) and Animeigo (with KOR) should have shown you NOT TO FUCK with your anime. You cheap cheap fucks.... And to add insult to injury Geneon Entertainment has let slip that they are trying their damndest to get Franz Ferdinand's crappy song rights for the closing of Paradise Kiss... Paradise Fucking Kiss... Jesus Christ you suck, FUNi.

- the Rossman