I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means
I do not think it means what you think it means
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Stuff we want to talk about
Friday, July 28, 2006

I just want to start off by saying that yes, this conversation (well, I guess you'd call it an "exchange of dumb thoughts that never should have been vocalized") actually occurred. I will not state who it really happened between only because the woman involved would be laughed at horrendously and unforgivably by her co-workers who actually read this site. I might just say that it was Angry Amy simply to piss her off.

It was Angry Amy who said this.

Anyway, I am so dead tired right now seeing as it's early early Friday morning and Kiff and I went to Six Flags yesterday... and we walked around in the 100 degree heat for a full eight hours. I am dehydrated and ready to fall into a deep and loving coma due to all the fun we had ogling all of the hot and sweaty, young... Umm, the toned and tight teenage.... Uhhh, how about the "scantily clad and..." No, no matter what I say I'm going to come off as a pervert here, so maybe I'll just turn this into a public service announcement to all of you retarded/moronic parents out there: Don't let your underage daughter wear short shorts and tight tops to public venues, especially when they plan to ride rides that dump water on them and make their already minuscule clothes see-through and tighter.

Do you not check to see what the hell she's wearing when she's going out for the day to a place crowded with perverts like Kiff? Do you think you're being the "cool parent" for allowing her to actually OWN shit like that in her wardrobe, let alone wear it out in public? Do you actually believe the lying little slut when she says "well, all my other friends wear stuff like this.. And come on, this isn't even that shocking anymore. Most girls my age with hard bodies like mine go around NAKED... So like this is a step up. Want me to just go out in Saran Wrap? I'll do it, you know!"

Jesus Homer Christ! If I ever have a girl she will first of all be sent off to be raised in a convent in Eskimo country where all the womens wear 13 layers of seal skin on top of 1890s-style long-john underwear, and when she finally comes back down into regular American society when she comes of age she'll be forced to wear the 1890s-style hoop-skirt dresses that go with that underwear until she's 30! What the fuck is wrong with you trashy parents today?! Do you LIKE IT when pervy people like Kiff stare at your young daughter's long long exposed legs and pert chests? Do you WANT him to take pictures with his camera phone and then post them all over the internet for other horndogs to gape at?... Well, if you don't I'd start going through grandma's closet for ideas for your trampy spawn, and I wouldn't do any Google image searches for "young, hot, trailer trash, amusement park, slutssss" if I were you.

-the Rossman