Issue #8: Stem Cell Embryonic Research

 I guess today we talk about killing human embryos so that we can save assholes like Michael J. Fox and that cunt on Ally McBeal. I say we just nuke them all from orbit.
 What? What's wrong with Ally McBeal?
 Oh, you know, she's like got gonorrhea or something. Now, don't get me wrong, I like the idea of killing babies and all. It's just that I don't feel satisfied knowing that if I killed said baby I may have just saved or extended Scott Baio's pathetic life. That's just not right.
 Yeah! *HIC* Fuck Charles in Charge!!!
 Mega Man brought his robotic Mega Brother today.
 .........I'm fucking speechless. Druggle! I thought I asked you to bury the blue boy in cement last week! Goddammit! Do I have to do everything myself?!
 Hey guys! What's up?
 Sweet Jeezus!! I thought that we impaled your ass on that telephone pole and left you to rot in the desert with all those ants and midgets with the AIDs!
 Yeah. Turns out that radioactive ants when mixed with midget AIDs can turn a rotting corpse into a zombie.
Whoa! Hmmmmmm, would that work on say a fucked up lizard from the Bubble Kingdom that owes me $65 for a bet he welshed on causing me to kill him slowly in a vat of acid that then got sent to Guatemala to help slow down the rainforests?
 Well, you'd need to have the whole body to have the ants eat and the midgets rape.
 Sunovabitch!! I never catch a break!
 Mega Man's big brother can catch things.
 Uuuuuuuuuuuuurgh..... For the wrath of Zinfigraidok! I have a monster hangover from playing quarters last night... Does anybody know how I ended up in Druggle's bed with a pigeon in my undies and a big, black rubber dildo in my mouth?....
 I swear to God that the pigeon was a mistake! Druggle just wanted to see what we could fit up there after you passed out from the alcohol poisoning. But then at around 4 in the morning you kinda woke up and started shooting things and making them die and blow up.
 Yeah, thanks, ya crazy bitch.... Aside from disintegrating my entire collection of Where the Boys Aren't DVD series you did manage to kill the gay elf. It sucked getting him up on that telephone pole, but it seemed worth it until he came back from the dead as an ass licking donkey thumping zombie! Hell, I bet you Miss Cleo would be shocked by this outcome!
 Mega Rob can foresee the future too. Mega Rob is mega sweet!... But not in a gay way like the elf.
 Shit, man! Would you shut the hell up about your retarded brother!?!?! Okay, fine, you win. Where is the 'mo. Let's just get this over with. I swear though, you little robotic piece of camel cum, if you just introduce us to another vacuum cleaner that Doctor Bright made and call it "family" I'm going to let that giant toad, Wart, use your head as a urinal again!!
 Come on out, Mega Rob. Meet my Mega friends. They are mega special.
 How are you doing today, Mega Man? Hello, everyone. I am known as "R.O.B. the Destructor". I have come from the past to terminate you in order to create a future of my own choosing. Please prepare for eternity.
 Mega Man! You are a mega ass!!!
 Ha ha ha! Mega Rob is only kidding. He is a puppy underneath his glowing red eyes that can see into your soul.

 You will be the first to die, Mega Man.


 Why... Rob?.......
 Damn the luck! My lasers have no effect on it!
 Have you even tried?
 Eh, I just have a feeling.
 Make your piece with your deities. The only thing that can stop me is a gay, radioactive zombie with the AIDs... That or a stem cell embryo test subject.
   Quick! Smack his jive-talking ass with the elf!
   Oh what a wicked web we weave when first we practice to lick my nutz-!!!!
   Whew! I could go for a pizza right about now... And Samus, if I could have that pigeon back I'd appreciate it.

Previous NN Topic


Go Back to the NN Main Page

This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!