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EVENT COLLECTION 7: Events 24 - 26 "END GAME"

Characters' names in BOLD are those that appear for the first time. Go to the Characters Page to read more about them.

Event 24 ("Magnetic Web Strategy")

Down a deserted corridor deep inside the Yamacsico, Lei-Lei is leaning against a barely lit wall. She is all alone, but soon the footsteps of a single person are heard getting closer. She smiles and greets the unseen walker (just like she knew him/her and was expecting him/her@_@), but suddenly the picture goes black and a gunshot rings out!

Inside the AbuCabu, MASTER is commending Ko and Enshaku for all their hard work and devotion to the Angel cause despite what their moronic Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Uncle had done. Neither of the two brothers seem to understand, so MASTER explains how their Uncle never meant to join the New Heaven's Gate Cult. He thought he was simply taking a space taxi to a lunar whore-house! The Cultists hated him and gave him the hardest and most annoying tasks they could think of to keep him out of their hair, but when he didn't think that they needed the map anymore and chucked it into the incinerator they kicked him out and left him to rot in the darkest of deep space. Filled with anger and disgrace, the two human brothers depart the Angels' hospitality and leave on a quest to find their wayward Great Uncle so that they could kick his ass themselves (if he was still alive).

Meanwhile, Azusa is busy sneaking aboard the Yamacsico after just landing her stolen ESDF ship in the hangar. At the same time, Caca is looking for somebody to play dollies with. Both run in to eachother near the dormitory district, but where as Caca smiles thinking she's found a friend, Azusa blows her away at point blank range and then scurries off to find Ms. Blotto to settle an old score!

Oh Caca! That is so wrong on soooooo many levels -_-

In the OniCon, Emperor Bulbaus decides that it is time to unleash their ultimate weapon against the Angels and the ESDF. So along with his entourage and all the scientists onboard, he marches down to the containment center of the Mutant X... aka Hell Mouth Kitty! As they open the door, they find that HMK is sleeping in the corner of the tiny room (and their scanners indicate that it is coursing with God Energy!). Wishi (HMK's surrogate mother, so to speak) tells the little fluffy demon that its reason for living is for this moment. She then tells the fluffy destroyer that it must raze the God Machine before it is fully powered up. The Kitty nods in agreement, yawns like an evil bastard and flies off to the Kami Killah! But instead of using its unlimited Hell Powah to destroy the monstrous device, HMK gives some of its own evil energy to fully power it (and because Dr. Marumisu had already inserted the Scion Keys' DNA sequences into the destructive device it was now at it's fullest potential!!)!!! Everybody in the Oni ship collectively slaps their heads in stupidity.

One more Disposable GunDAMN down the drain as HMK flares past it!

Unaware of what's going on outside the ship, Ms. Blotto's just stumbling back to her quarters after drinking all night with Fox and Irene, but waiting for her with two twelve-packs of Bud is Azusa! She demands that they battle again! When Blotto tries to explain that she may already have alcohol poisoning from drinking all night, Azusa pulls a gun out and orders her to begin chugging. She complies.

After 2 hours, Ms. Blotto is in an alcohol-induced coma and Azusa is dancing a drunk jig above her limp body in glee while declaring that she's the greatest alcoholic in the universe!!!

Meanwhile, Dr. Freshnesu has completed the Big MF Bomb (the only device theoretically strong enough to eliminate the God Machine), and she cranks it up with a grave look on her usually giddy face.

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Event 25 ("Twilight of the Super Heroes")

In order to replace the freakish computer operating young-uns (Zero and Lei-Lei), the ESDF has the Kei(s) cloned clones brought aboard. They're even more disturbing than the freaks they replaced!

Anyway, it turns out that Vegas knew of Hell Mouth Kitty's coming due to F-Ah-U's big mouth as he's waiting inside the core of the Kami-Killah in order to negotiate paths of destruction with the beast (he sealed all the main entrances to the belly of the device after he had entered). HMK ignores him and just takes a cat nap in the corner. So then Captain Vegas tries to order the God Machine to work for him so that they could destroy the Universe together and remain the only entities alive by materializing God and then vaporizing him themselves!!! @_@!!!! The God Machine seems to be some sort of sentient being as it thinks over the proposal, and decides it's a pretty good idea... just not with Vegas as its partner. So it "dusts" him and begins collecting energy for its main attack on the Lord *o*!!!

Inside the OniCon's sickbay, Jingy is in a full body cast after suffering the full weight of Emperor Bulbaus a while back. He's all alone and has his door locked so that he can just sit in silence and feel sorry for himself. But soon the door knob starts moving as somebody picks the lock to his personal room! It's Kadoma, and she feels really bad for the Supreme Commander since she hasn't seen him smile in a long time.... So she gives him some hot (freaky) lovin' to get the mutant cat back on his paws 0_o!! This scene is very unsettling to those not used to some of the weirder hentai titles out there.

Meanwhile, everybody on all sides notice that the Kami-Killah is powering up and the panic begins. Inside the Yamacsico, Dr. Freshnesu informs Fox that the Big MF Bomb is ready to be used. After a long pause in weighing out her options, the Grand Admiral orders the destruction of the Universe in order to save Kami-sama.

Grand Admiral Fox (with tears in her eyes) orders that everybody on board be prepared for obliteration by calmly placing their heads between their knees and kissing their asses goodbye.

All is silent as the Big MF Bomb is brought online. The entire bridge crew, along with everybody inside every ship in area, bite their tongues as they await their eternity at the desperate hands of the ESDF. Minutes pass. The silence is painful. Just before Fox moves to ask Dr. Freshnesu if the bomb is working it starts to emit an eerie red light and soon the picture turns black and white and letterboxed! Then the Big MF Bomb explodes. Everything is bathed in a bright light and then there is nothing.........

Then, as quickly as things were vanquished, everything is back again. Fox blinks three times in surprise and asks Freshnesu what just happened. It turns out that the Big MF Bomb worked too well. It destroyed the Universe so completely and totally that it reverted things back to the exact way they had been before the *Boom*.

Inside the OniCon bridge, everybody is in a panic without the Supreme Commander in charge, when all of a sudden the main door opens and Jingy triumphantly (while still in a body cast) makes his way to his command chair with a HUGE gundamn smile on his puss :)!

On the Angel side of things, MASTER is in a panic. He never truly intended to use the God Machine to destroy God. He really just wanted the Ultimate Rocky Road! Dr. Marumisu slaps him out of his hysteria and tells him to get Mari, Cowboy Mike and Ifiriri. When everybody is there, Marumisu informs them that with a little sacrifice from Ifiriri they might be able to shut down the machine but good. Since she was rebuilt by Wishi with parts from the Kami-Killah itself, she should be able to interract with it and force it to use its time dilation core to warp the thing to the end of time where it would cease to exist! She agrees and the usual sad sayonara is said between her and Mike. Then everybody watches as Ifiriri warps into the God Machine, and 2 seconds later reappears behind them with a quizzical look on her face. MASTER starts pounding his head into the wall, but stops when he asks Dr. Marumisu what they should try next.... Only the good doctor is already in an escape pod shooting back to the Yamacsico with a "I just wet my pants" kinda expression revealing how he truly feels.

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Event 26 ("Grand Finale - Shattered Beauty in the Illusionary Night")

The final battle begins. Everything that every army has is thrown at the Kami-Killah in a vain attempt to stop it from doing its worst! Soon the God Machine starts to exhibit new powers as it takes control of Azusa's Jehovah Unit and makes it fight on its side!

By the power of Grayskull!! The end is near!!!

Norika finally grows some jambrones as she takes control of her Buster Brown and starts fighting like a banshee on crack.... TOPLESS!!! @_@. She's tired of all this war (and especially of Siggy's constant taunting) so with her "Bustaaaaah Bosommmmmm" attack she blows up Siggy Freud and her Jehovah Unit (which Siggy doesn't care as she'll finally be free of that pansy Shinji's big gay mind!).

Yup, it looks like Anno really wanted you to notice that Norika has boobies. Yes she certainly does.

And she apparently can use them to make Jehovah Units go *BadaaaaBoom!*.

The battle continues, but due to the God Machine's powerful Point Barrier System no attack is even reaching it! Meanwhile, as everyone's busy with trying to prevent the end of time from coming about, Dr. Marumisu has snuck aboard the Yamacsico and is sneaking down to da Count's hospital ward when he is caught by Irene (and gets the snot kicked out of him before Fox and a still sick Blotto appear on the scene). Marumisu is told to explain himself and his actions as more and more characters appear in the hospital room. Finally, Dr. Freshnesu arrives and slaps her ex-lover so hard that he flips around and falls right on da Count's bed... waking him up from his 26 episode coma!!

After da Count is given a rundown of everything that happened since he was is the land of "Zzzzzzzs", he bluntly informs everybody that Dr. Marumisu was acting all according to plan! Da Count and the doctor came up with a scheme to have the doctor defect to the Angels so that he could use the ESDF time dilation technology to turn the God Machine into a harmless device that would only warp-fold the entire Angel fleet 15 years into the future where mankind would be better prepared to handle them. But the powerstone core of the original Yamacsico (along with his idiot daughter's meddling) caused the warp to flow backwards through time instead. And now, HellMouth Kitty's charged the Kami-Killah to its full power, even beyond the safeguards that Dr. Marumisu had installed to keep the Jovians from ever using it for bad things.

Dr. Marumisu then goes on to explain the whole cloning thing (just like a Scooby Doo episode :). When his darling (and dim) daughter Yurethra was born, he had her cloned into Tyler and he encoded their DNA with the greatest amount of God Essense that he could so that he could create the theoretic formulation ideal for making the Scion Keys needed to perfect time dilation and all things related to perfect energy!

Outside in space, a miracle of miracles happens! Due to the overflux of God Energy and Time Dilation overcharges, BIG Tobor is ressurrected!! He does his best to try and pound through the Giant Barrier system to the Kami-Killah behind it, but it appears to be too much for him and the energy field melts him away -_-. GunDAMMIT!!

But do not fear! For we are protected by BIG Tobor!!... for a little while.

Meanwhile, inside the OniCon, Kadoma uses her feminine charms to ask MASTER of the Jovian fleet to shut down the barrier system so that they might have a chance of actually stopping the damn device. He says "Oops! Sorry, I guess that would have helped," and the God Machine is now defenseless! All mecha units converge on it, but before any of them can react, the Machine kicks it into motion.... and materializes KAMI-sama!!!!

Everybody is speechless and in shock! Especially God!! 0_o!!! Nobody can move. Everything seems to be working in slow motion. The God Machine soops up one last time as it prepares to obliterate Kami-sama. Everybody's eyes are wide open with fear.... and then, it happens.

God remembers that he's God and pulls the plug on the Kami-killah shutting it down. He then grimaces at the Jovian fleet and with a wiggle of his nose he erases them from history (well, all except the cool ones like Mike, Ifiriri, Mari, Fein, Achtung!!, Presents and some Faceless Minions... he lets them live:). In a bellowing voice he makes a funny comment about how those religious fanatics always pissed him off in how they were always so busy telling others how to live right that they never did anything productive with the life he gave them in the first place ^o^! He cracks me up!

Then the Lord turns to the MamonOni fleet and turns his frown upside down ^_^. He explains that the Oni are the only beings truly made in his image and he turns them into the Master Race (i.e. they all glow now)! This is all cool and all, but Captain Kahn is the only one not glowing. When he asks God about this, he is told that he isn't really an Oni. The MamonOni only found him 20 years ago and that he is really from the Earth time period of 2015 and that he's one of the Marumisu's ancient ancestors! When all that backward and forward trippin' through time and space occured, he was by-mistakenly thrown into the future, but 20 years in the past..... Get it? Well, after that there's a big group hug with all the Marumisu's and their friends ^_^. Oh yeah, Hell Mouth Kitty escapes during this time and nobody notices.

Anyway, the big party to celebrate the end of the Triangle War is now going on inside the Yamacsico. Peace is declared and everybody's getting piss-drunk and having a grand ole time. Tyler Durden and Yurethra find eachother in the huge and friendly gathering, say "Screw it!", and run off to Yurethra's room to shag like rabbits. Da Count is in heaven with all three of his ladies hanging on him and feeding him grapes and Pocky. Guy surrounds himself with most of the remaining honeys on board. Kibbles and Lum finally kiss, but then he runs off because of his fear of commitment. Drs. Marumisu and Freshnesu start making out (and grossing out most of the party-goers in the process). COSMOS and Aiyiyi are granted real living bodies of their own too (they start smoochin';). And finally, Mismay takes the center stage of the celebration and just as she's about to start the victory song of the end of the war....

That's GOTTA hurt!! F***in' s**t!!!!!

...God (who's turned a bit too much water into wine if you know what I mean) by-mistakenly misfires a lightning bolt and fries the bejezus out of her. She then blows up and takes Kenny, Aiyiyi's and COSMOS' new bodies with her. Then everybody laughs! ^o^

Ushiko and Umao-san pop out of the celebration cake and all the remaining Angels, Oni and Humans party like it's 2999 as FIRESTARTER sings the opening theme!

But deep in the darkness (somewhere, it's never shown where), the camera finds and focusses in on something very creepy and large while ominous music crescendos!

.......I have NO friggin' clue.

Sayonara, you sexy thang!!

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