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24 - 26
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24 ("Magnetic Web Strategy")
Down a deserted corridor deep inside the Yamacsico,
Lei-Lei is leaning against a barely lit wall. She is all alone,
but soon the footsteps of a single person are heard getting closer.
She smiles and greets the unseen walker (just like she knew him/her
and was expecting him/her@_@), but suddenly the picture goes
black and a gunshot rings out!
Inside the AbuCabu, MASTER is commending Ko
and Enshaku for all their hard work and devotion to the Angel
cause despite what their moronic Great Great Great Great Great
Great Great Great Great Uncle had done. Neither of the two brothers
seem to understand, so MASTER explains how their Uncle never
meant to join the New Heaven's Gate Cult. He thought he was simply
taking a space taxi to a lunar whore-house! The Cultists hated
him and gave him the hardest and most annoying tasks they could
think of to keep him out of their hair, but when he didn't think
that they needed the map anymore and chucked it into the incinerator
they kicked him out and left him to rot in the darkest of deep
space. Filled with anger and disgrace, the two human brothers
depart the Angels' hospitality and leave on a quest to find their
wayward Great Uncle so that they could kick his ass themselves
(if he was still alive).
Meanwhile, Azusa is busy sneaking aboard the
Yamacsico after just landing her stolen ESDF ship in the hangar.
At the same time, Caca is looking for somebody to play dollies
with. Both run in to eachother near the dormitory district, but
where as Caca smiles thinking she's found a friend, Azusa blows
her away at point blank range and then scurries off to find Ms.
Blotto to settle an old score!
Oh Caca! That is so wrong on soooooo many levels -_-
In the OniCon, Emperor Bulbaus decides that
it is time to unleash their ultimate weapon against the Angels
and the ESDF. So along with his entourage and all the scientists
onboard, he marches down to the containment center of the Mutant
X... aka Hell Mouth Kitty! As they open the door, they
find that HMK is sleeping in the corner of the tiny room (and
their scanners indicate that it is coursing with God Energy!).
Wishi (HMK's surrogate mother, so to speak) tells the little
fluffy demon that its reason for living is for this moment. She
then tells the fluffy destroyer that it must raze the God Machine
before it is fully powered up. The Kitty nods in agreement, yawns
like an evil bastard and flies off to the Kami Killah! But instead
of using its unlimited Hell Powah to destroy the monstrous device,
HMK gives some of its own evil energy to fully power it (and
because Dr. Marumisu had already inserted the Scion Keys' DNA
sequences into the destructive device it was now at it's fullest
potential!!)!!! Everybody in the Oni ship collectively slaps
their heads in stupidity.
One more Disposable GunDAMN down the drain as HMK flares past
Unaware of what's going on outside the ship,
Ms. Blotto's just stumbling back to her quarters after drinking
all night with Fox and Irene, but waiting for her with two twelve-packs
of Bud is Azusa! She demands that they battle again! When Blotto
tries to explain that she may already have alcohol poisoning
from drinking all night, Azusa pulls a gun out and orders her
to begin chugging. She complies.
After 2 hours, Ms. Blotto is in an alcohol-induced
coma and Azusa is dancing a drunk jig above her limp body in
glee while declaring that she's the greatest alcoholic in the
Meanwhile, Dr. Freshnesu has completed the
Big MF Bomb (the only device theoretically strong enough
to eliminate the God Machine), and she cranks it up with a grave
look on her usually giddy face.
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25 ("Twilight of the Super Heroes")
In order to replace the freakish computer
operating young-uns (Zero and Lei-Lei), the ESDF has the Kei(s)
cloned clones brought aboard. They're even more disturbing than
the freaks they replaced!
Anyway, it turns out that Vegas knew of Hell
Mouth Kitty's coming due to F-Ah-U's big mouth as he's waiting
inside the core of the Kami-Killah in order to negotiate paths
of destruction with the beast (he sealed all the main entrances
to the belly of the device after he had entered). HMK ignores
him and just takes a cat nap in the corner. So then Captain Vegas
tries to order the God Machine to work for him so that
they could destroy the Universe together and remain the only
entities alive by materializing God and then vaporizing him themselves!!!
@_@!!!! The God Machine seems to be some sort of sentient being
as it thinks over the proposal, and decides it's a pretty good
idea... just not with Vegas as its partner. So it "dusts"
him and begins collecting energy for its main attack on the Lord
Inside the OniCon's sickbay, Jingy is in a
full body cast after suffering the full weight of Emperor Bulbaus
a while back. He's all alone and has his door locked so that
he can just sit in silence and feel sorry for himself. But soon
the door knob starts moving as somebody picks the lock to his
personal room! It's Kadoma, and she feels really bad for the
Supreme Commander since she hasn't seen him smile in a long time....
So she gives him some hot (freaky) lovin' to get the mutant cat
back on his paws 0_o!! This scene is very unsettling to those
not used to some of the weirder hentai titles out there.
Meanwhile, everybody on all sides notice that
the Kami-Killah is powering up and the panic begins. Inside the
Yamacsico, Dr. Freshnesu informs Fox that the Big MF Bomb is
ready to be used. After a long pause in weighing out her options,
the Grand Admiral orders the destruction of the Universe in order
to save Kami-sama.
Grand Admiral Fox (with tears in her eyes) orders that everybody
on board be prepared for obliteration by calmly placing their
heads between their knees and kissing their asses goodbye.
All is silent as the Big MF Bomb is brought
online. The entire bridge crew, along with everybody inside every
ship in area, bite their tongues as they await their eternity
at the desperate hands of the ESDF. Minutes pass. The silence
is painful. Just before Fox moves to ask Dr. Freshnesu if the
bomb is working it starts to emit an eerie red light and soon
the picture turns black and white and letterboxed! Then the Big
MF Bomb explodes. Everything is bathed in a bright light and
then there is nothing.........
Then, as quickly as things were vanquished,
everything is back again. Fox blinks three times in surprise
and asks Freshnesu what just happened. It turns out that the
Big MF Bomb worked too well. It destroyed the Universe
so completely and totally that it reverted things back to the
exact way they had been before the *Boom*.
Inside the OniCon bridge, everybody is in
a panic without the Supreme Commander in charge, when all of
a sudden the main door opens and Jingy triumphantly (while still
in a body cast) makes his way to his command chair with a HUGE
gundamn smile on his puss :)!
On the Angel side of things, MASTER is in
a panic. He never truly intended to use the God Machine to destroy
God. He really just wanted the Ultimate Rocky Road! Dr. Marumisu
slaps him out of his hysteria and tells him to get Mari, Cowboy
Mike and Ifiriri. When everybody is there, Marumisu informs them
that with a little sacrifice from Ifiriri they might be able
to shut down the machine but good. Since she was rebuilt by Wishi
with parts from the Kami-Killah itself, she should be able to
interract with it and force it to use its time dilation core
to warp the thing to the end of time where it would cease to
exist! She agrees and the usual sad sayonara is said between
her and Mike. Then everybody watches as Ifiriri warps into the
God Machine, and 2 seconds later reappears behind them with a
quizzical look on her face. MASTER starts pounding his head into
the wall, but stops when he asks Dr. Marumisu what they should
try next.... Only the good doctor is already in an escape pod
shooting back to the Yamacsico with a "I just wet my pants"
kinda expression revealing how he truly feels.
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26 ("Grand Finale - Shattered Beauty in the Illusionary
The final battle begins. Everything that every
army has is thrown at the Kami-Killah in a vain attempt to stop
it from doing its worst! Soon the God Machine starts to exhibit
new powers as it takes control of Azusa's Jehovah Unit and makes
it fight on its side!
By the power of Grayskull!! The end is near!!!
Norika finally grows some jambrones as she
takes control of her Buster Brown and starts fighting like a
banshee on crack.... TOPLESS!!! @_@. She's tired of all this
war (and especially of Siggy's constant taunting) so with her
"Bustaaaaah Bosommmmmm" attack she blows up Siggy Freud
and her Jehovah Unit (which Siggy doesn't care as she'll finally
be free of that pansy Shinji's big gay mind!).
Yup, it looks like Anno really wanted you to notice that Norika
has boobies. Yes she certainly does.
And she apparently can use them to make Jehovah Units go *BadaaaaBoom!*.
The battle continues, but due to the God Machine's
powerful Point Barrier System no attack is even reaching it!
Meanwhile, as everyone's busy with trying to prevent the end
of time from coming about, Dr. Marumisu has snuck aboard the
Yamacsico and is sneaking down to da Count's hospital ward when
he is caught by Irene (and gets the snot kicked out of him before
Fox and a still sick Blotto appear on the scene). Marumisu is
told to explain himself and his actions as more and more characters
appear in the hospital room. Finally, Dr. Freshnesu arrives and
slaps her ex-lover so hard that he flips around and falls right
on da Count's bed... waking him up from his 26 episode coma!!
After da Count is given a rundown of everything
that happened since he was is the land of "Zzzzzzzs",
he bluntly informs everybody that Dr. Marumisu was acting all
according to plan! Da Count and the doctor came up with a scheme
to have the doctor defect to the Angels so that he could use
the ESDF time dilation technology to turn the God Machine into
a harmless device that would only warp-fold the entire Angel
fleet 15 years into the future where mankind would be better
prepared to handle them. But the powerstone core of the original
Yamacsico (along with his idiot daughter's meddling) caused the
warp to flow backwards through time instead. And now, HellMouth
Kitty's charged the Kami-Killah to its full power, even beyond
the safeguards that Dr. Marumisu had installed to keep the Jovians
from ever using it for bad things.
Dr. Marumisu then goes on to explain the whole
cloning thing (just like a Scooby Doo episode :). When his darling
(and dim) daughter Yurethra was born, he had her cloned into
Tyler and he encoded their DNA with the greatest amount of God
Essense that he could so that he could create the theoretic formulation
ideal for making the Scion Keys needed to perfect time dilation
and all things related to perfect energy!
Outside in space, a miracle of miracles happens!
Due to the overflux of God Energy and Time Dilation overcharges,
BIG Tobor is ressurrected!! He does his best to try and pound
through the Giant Barrier system to the Kami-Killah behind it,
but it appears to be too much for him and the energy field melts
him away -_-. GunDAMMIT!!
But do not fear! For we are protected by BIG Tobor!!... for
a little while.
Meanwhile, inside the OniCon, Kadoma uses
her feminine charms to ask MASTER of the Jovian fleet to shut
down the barrier system so that they might have a chance of actually
stopping the damn device. He says "Oops! Sorry, I guess
that would have helped," and the God Machine is now defenseless!
All mecha units converge on it, but before any of them can react,
the Machine kicks it into motion.... and materializes KAMI-sama!!!!
Everybody is speechless and in shock! Especially
God!! 0_o!!! Nobody can move. Everything seems to be working
in slow motion. The God Machine soops up one last time as it
prepares to obliterate Kami-sama. Everybody's eyes are wide open
with fear.... and then, it happens.
God remembers that he's God and pulls the
plug on the Kami-killah shutting it down. He then grimaces at
the Jovian fleet and with a wiggle of his nose he erases them
from history (well, all except the cool ones like Mike, Ifiriri,
Mari, Fein, Achtung!!, Presents and some Faceless Minions...
he lets them live:). In a bellowing voice he makes a funny comment
about how those religious fanatics always pissed him off in how
they were always so busy telling others how to live right that
they never did anything productive with the life he gave them
in the first place ^o^! He cracks me up!
Then the Lord turns to the MamonOni fleet
and turns his frown upside down ^_^. He explains that the Oni
are the only beings truly made in his image and he turns them
into the Master Race (i.e. they all glow now)!
This is all cool and all, but Captain Kahn is the only
one not glowing. When he asks God about this, he is told that
he isn't really an Oni. The MamonOni only found him 20 years
ago and that he is really from the Earth time period of 2015
and that he's one of the Marumisu's ancient ancestors! When all
that backward and forward trippin' through time and space occured,
he was by-mistakenly thrown into the future, but 20 years in
the past..... Get it? Well, after that there's a big group hug
with all the Marumisu's and their friends ^_^. Oh yeah, Hell
Mouth Kitty escapes during this time and nobody notices.
Anyway, the big party to celebrate the end
of the Triangle War is now going on inside the Yamacsico. Peace
is declared and everybody's getting piss-drunk and having a grand
ole time. Tyler Durden and Yurethra find eachother in the huge
and friendly gathering, say "Screw it!", and run off
to Yurethra's room to shag like rabbits. Da Count is in heaven
with all three of his ladies hanging on him and feeding him grapes
and Pocky. Guy surrounds himself with most of the remaining honeys
on board. Kibbles and Lum finally kiss, but then he runs off
because of his fear of commitment. Drs. Marumisu and Freshnesu
start making out (and grossing out most of the party-goers in
the process). COSMOS and Aiyiyi are granted real living bodies
of their own too (they start smoochin';). And finally, Mismay
takes the center stage of the celebration and just as she's about
to start the victory song of the end of the war....
That's GOTTA hurt!! F***in' s**t!!!!!
...God (who's turned a bit too much water
into wine if you know what I mean) by-mistakenly misfires a lightning
bolt and fries the bejezus out of her. She then blows up and
takes Kenny, Aiyiyi's and COSMOS' new bodies with her. Then everybody
Ushiko and Umao-san pop out of the celebration
cake and all the remaining Angels, Oni and Humans party like
it's 2999 as FIRESTARTER sings the opening theme!
But deep in the darkness (somewhere, it's
never shown where), the camera finds and focusses in on something
very creepy and large while ominous music crescendos!
.......I have NO friggin' clue.
Then as the credits begin, we get
to see Yurethra frolicking in a bubble bath for a full 3 minutes
:). What a way to end a show!
Sayonara, you sexy thang!!
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