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5 ("The Day the Angel Flies")
After countless attempts to catch the worthless
Captain Marumisu abandoning her post and her duty, Lt. Yamato
can't take it anymore and he commits seppuku on the bridge in
front of Yurethra herself (who only thought he was acting and
then fell asleep.... If I didn't hate a certain albino reject,
I'd quote her by saying "BAKA!", but I do so I won't).
Ally jumps in the sack with Drugis, and later
gets caught sneaking out of his bedroom by Guy (whom she doesn't
even remember). Guy is extremely pissed at this, but instead
of taking it out on Drugis (whom he actually thinks is pretty
cool), he challenges his arch-rival Baskaca to a Light Bike
Race in the Holo-Rec room (This sequence has some of the
coolest animation I have ever SEEN! Granted, I know it was computer
enhanced, but the angles and speed of the entire race were mindblowing!!
You have to see it to believe it!).
All they wanna do is a zoomy zoom zoom and
a boom boom (Just shake your rump!).
But the outcome of the challenge is never
second guessed due to Baskaca's serious (but funny:) physical
handicap. He goes down in a ball of flames ^o^ (As does Kenny,
but that was even more expected).
While in a rush to meet her sweetie in a hidden
compartment somewhere, Yurethra assigns the "Top Secret"
Mega Powerful Ultimate Robot Defense Mecha, Buster Brown,
to Norika (because she was the only crewmember pilot alive without
a mecha). Lovely. Then she leaves the bridge (with Yamato "asleep"
in her chair). Two seconds after she disappears down the hallway,
the Jovian Assassin Shav makes his goofy entrance. After he almost
trips on a floor panel he makes a flip like a ninja and lands
on his feet with his gun pointed at Yamato's carcase, which he
procedes to blow to smithereens. He then departs in haste after
falling backwards on a broken chair yelling "Oro!?!".
Aboard the Jovian Angel's command ship, a
warning is being repeated that an intruder might be on board.
After a completely unnecessary shot of the H-Girls stretching
and rubbing eachother we see that precautions are made to protect
Mari-chan (who's working on some sort of add-on to the Kami Killah
[Marumisu's Time Dilation Project?!] as well as making
a new plaything for herself, Mecha Kingu). The Lovely
Pairs are now her body guards.
Inside the OniCon, a party for Kibbles'
birthday is just wrapping up. Buddy "hears"
Princess Mononononoke tell Kibbles that after everything's
done, she'll help and "Sweep" with him to clean everything
up. Buddy being almost deaf and stupid misinterprets what is
said (i.e. "sleep" okay?!?! He thought she said "sleep"
-_-) and runs to tell Kibble's lover Princess Rum. Hilarity
Baaaaaack on the Angel side of things, the
Lovely Pairs are playing Russian Rollette and they inadvertantly
blow up Mari-chan's Time Dilation Project (along with what looks
to be themselves too!). Mari has spirals spinning in her eyes
and is out of it when the Oni infiltrators Batti and Flutey
sneak into the room and take a few things (Batti grabs a bunch
of Mari's old and abandoned android parts along with some Time
Dilation Project parts that weren't blow'd up, while Flutey takes
some blood samples off the wall). The two MamonOni then bolt
(Man, security on all these ships has gotta be tightened up,
Soon the two of them are back in their mini
ship cruising a return course to the OniCon when they pass (within
a few meters:) Fein returning back to the Jovians!
Once Batti and Flutey make it to Wishi's labs
they give her everything that they've stolen. She cackles and
puts the android parts on a table next to an unconscious Ifiriri
while she puts the blood samples into a weird looking tube (a
Protozuma Clone Tank) and starts it up. She's still trying
to figure out what keeps going wrong with the clones that she's
attempted to make to rebuild the Oni ranks. They keep going mad
or they're just dumb as a bunch of bricks. She's not sure if
it's because of the donor's age, or the fact that the donor can't
be a clone (or decendant of a clone) him/herself. So she got
Batti and Flutey to get some fresh Jovian samples.
She then flashes back to one of her first
cloning experiment of Verde. It was a total disaster as
Verde went insane and tore the ship a new one starting from the
inside and working his way out! It was only because of the human
captive, Sgt. Slaughter, who broke free at the time and
wrassled the failed experiment to death that the OniCon wasn't
He fights for freedom
wherever there's trouble!
Soon Wishi stops dreaming as the cloning tank
is done. Out comes the Clones of the Lovely Pairs! Nab
makes a comment about how "They certainly are!". That
cat kills me ^_^!
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Event 6 ("False Pledge")
In the Yamacsico's bridge, Grubby is arguing
with Captain Marumisu about discipline and honor in the crew.
She's just anxious to get some "Durden action" and
isn't listening to a word he has to say. Three's Company style
misunderstandings occur throughout the rest of the episode because
In da Count's room in the Yamacsico's military
hospital, Fox, Irene and of course Ms. Blotto are still fighting
over his comatose bod. This time they are each trying to sabotage
the others' gifts for him (i.e. Blotto's 12 pack of Killian's
Red, Irene's combat rifle and Fox's document giving him honorary
ranking as a 4 star general). At the end of this scene Ushiko
and Umao pop up from under coma guy's sheets and profess their
love for eachother.
Meanwhile, the MamonOni now have their hands
full! The Cloned Lovely Pairs are quickly making a habit
of making things go "BOOM!". Wishi and Zenrei are trying
their best to keep up with them, but their trail of destruction
is just too wide and too fast! The Oni scientists no longer have
the help of the re-animated Ifiriri as she was already permanantly
assigned as Princess Rum's Personal Enforcer (due to Flutey's
request to a leave of absence [she can get a bit nutty, and Flutey
never feels like a nut]). And Flutey (without any employment
now) is off meditating or doing something "zen-like"
where nobody else can find him.
Under a recently called Cease Fire, a pact
called the "Alliance Against the ESDF" was set up between
the Jovians and the Oni. Jingy and the Oni Royal Family try and
decide what course of action would be the best use of their combined
power. While Rum, Ifiriri and Kibbles discuss this dilemma of
strategies, they pass by a door marked "Mutant X - Do
Not Even THINK of Opening, Bee-yatch" (the Oni are very
poetic beings). Seeing as how the camera stays on this door for
a good 25 seconds after the three walk by, I guess we're either
led to believe that the animators were on a strict budget this
week, or this door is very important.
When Rum, Ifiriri and Kibbles pass down the
hallway, we see something drop from the ceiling and shoot down
the corridor with unbelievable speed! It is Anne Droid, and her
mission (we learn from her peppy monologue thoughts) is to assassinate
King Emperor Bulbaus, and as many members of his family as possible!
Inside the immense City Quarters aboard the OniCon, Anne gets
a bit lost and asks directions from Zenrei (who is looking for
the LPs Clones). Zenrei (being one of the only characters in
the show who has the porch light on and is in fact "home")
immediately realizes that an android of such quality must be
a Jovian infiltrator (along with the fact that Anne told her
outright that she was looking for the Emperor or any Royal
Family Member in order to "smear their innards against
the wall"). A huge, loud and full-tilt fight ensues between
the two and lots of things blow'd up.
*Bang!* *Bang!* "And she's off! *Bang!*
Wait, the girl with the marker gun is now firing on entrant number
4! Oh the humanity!"
Wishi finally catches up to and corners the
Cloned LPs and their cat (who are actually all tuckered out from
their long day of inadvertant destruction:), but before she can
contain them, the wall behind her comes smashing down and the
original Lovely Pairs come a knockin'!
I don't know where that tank came from, but
I'm disappointed that they never made a toy out of it :(. I mean,
how the hell am I ever going to reenact this scene at home now
with just my Wishi and my gelatin-filled LPs action figures without
a "Panzer Kunst Big Ass Tank"?!
Somehow the Cloned Lovely Pairs start to get
unstable and when they come into contact with their protoplasts
the room goes super nova! After the smoke clears, Wishi digs
herself out of the rubble (with the help of her assistant Zenrei
who chased Anne away) and decides that maybe it's time that she
grew up and had a baby again (but "only if it's with the
only man she's ever loved")..... Oooooookay.
Needless to say, the Jovian-Oni Alliance was
broken off and both sides started their aggressions towards eachother
Back in the Yamacsico, Dr. Freshnesu is watching
a replay of the events that just took place with the Cloned Lovely
Pairs (she states that she had a secret camera planted in their
ship a long time ago). She is happy that the Oni have not figured
out the reason for their cloning failures yet and hopes that
they never will. Seems that in order for clones to stay stable
(and not go mental or 'splodin') the copy must be made at or
near the original clony's birth. With the aged DNA and the artificial
maturing of the Oni clones, they all turn out "all in all
not too sharp". Dr. Freshnesu then goes back to work on
the Big MF Bomb and hopes that Dr. Marumisu will not share this
secret with the Jovian Angels. Fade to Black.
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7 ("Dangerous Wounds")
Now it's the ESDF's turn to ally themselves
with those nutty Jovians :). A Peace Pact was signed between
MASTER and Grand Admiral Luscious Fox to stop any offensive manuevers
against eachother. But MASTER has something hidden up his coffee
Meanwhile, inside the MamonOni command ship,
Jingy orders Wishi to unlease Aiyiyi into the Yamacsico's
main sentient computer COSMOS, and plant a deadly ILOVEYOU
Virus into his mainframe! Then when Aiyiyi signals that the system
is down, they'll mount a full scale offensive against the human
menace to wipe them out... all of them.
A second Battle of the Bands is being put
together to once again finally decide which band is the greatest
of all time! FIRESTARTER goes first and blows the speakers out
^_^. Both Tish and the Kopy Kats and Mismay are pretty peeved,
but Baskaca and the rest don't give a care and flick off the
other contestants when they leave.
Out in the hallway next to the the bridge,
NomE and Cap'n Grubby meet and share one full minute of hateful
stares and silence!
Inside the Yamacsico's Heavy Network System,
COSMOS is sleeping (after recently helping Fukuku and Brian save
the ship in yet another narrow escape from destruction) when
all of a sudden Aiyiyi pops up in front of him in cyber-space
(a really cool effect that must have taken at least 2 months
to computer render!!). They start talking (Aiyiyi trying her
best to sweet talk the high pitched little program into opening
up his Group Drive for her to plant the virus) and talking and
talking... Mostly about the Oni Program trying to "fix COSMO's
mouse" and other dirty computer language at first, but soon
Aiyiyi starts to wonder why things are like they are and if fighting
ever really solves anything (a very deep and thought provoking
piece of work, I'll tell you what).
Back at the Bands Contest, the speakers are
replaced and Tish takes the spotlight. Outside an Angel Carrier
helmed by Captain Vegas is on a collision course with
the Yamacsico (MASTER ordered his most expendable captain to
do a suicide run on the ESDF!). Due to COSMOS' preoccupation
though, it goes unnoticed. Aiyiyi begins to think that what she
was sent to do is wrong and she realizes that she's fallen in
love with the ESDF Program (we know this because floating hearts
appear in cyber space all around her). COSMOS is confused and
tired, but then a huge shake to the ship occurs and snaps him
out of his daze! It turns out that Tyler has never seen the Northern
Lights on Earth, so Captain Marumisu changed the Yamacsico's
destination so that he could see them from space from the bridge
-_- (A brief shot of Zero and Lei-Lei has them making an annoying
comment about the situation).
When COSMOS comes to his senses, his radar
readings show that they just missed a huge Jovian vessel because
of the manuever! When he turns to confront Aiyiyi about it she's
already gone. Vegas, enraged that his kamikaze attack didn't
work, orders a full deployment of all Jovian mecha in the vicinity
to attack the ESDF ship!
Why nobody ever goes straight for the main
bridge when they're so damn close is beyond me. I mean, that
would basically cripple the ship and win the fight, neh? Also,
why build the bridge to stick out like that in the first place?
That's just lazy mecha architecture if you ask me.
The Battle of the Bands Part II is interupted,
just as Mismay was about to sing her first note, by the real
conflict outside in cold dark space. The ESDF's coolest Self
Piloting Mecha of all time, Azzkicker Prime, rallies the
troops and orders them to "Roll out!" After tons of
really cool zero-G dogfights and lots of awesome 'splosions the
Yamacsico is saved from an early grave and COSMOS is left to
ponder what that loony Aiyiyi is/was truly up to.
The ESDF and Angel treaty is broken faster
than the Angel and Oni one and no side is happy with the outcome.
Especially Jingy who is extremely vexed with Aiyiyi (who turns
out to have ingested the ILOVEYOU virus herself to save COSMOS
[but did she really love him before she took the bug, or because
of it? Hmmmmm ^_~]. She still has those weird floating hearts
and big "star filled" eyes at the end of the episode
to make sure that everyone understands that she still loves the
guy.... We get the point).
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8 ("Sphere of Absolute Fortune")
Right off the bat we're thrown into another
space battle. Things are already pretty hairy for the ESDFers
(Norika [in the Buster Brown] is soon in tears and crumpled up
in a pile of herself while Siggy laughs at her and tells her
that the next time she goes into space she'll die! *_*)
as the Jovians push yet another unprovoked offensive. While in
the heat of the battle, the punkish Bratt tries to kill
his clone Drugis first by accident, then without even trying
to hide it.
The Yamacsico is not faring too well as it
has been compromised and some Jovian Faceless Minions have snuck
aboard with a buttload of explosives. They break into the medical
bay where Drs. Kitchikoo, Tabitha and (for a price)
GoFish are operating on hurt pilots. They are about to
open fire when Caca kills them all with her bare hands when everybody
is cowering in fear (This was sooooo cool to see! Most of it
was in slow motion and choreographed just like a John Woo flick!!).
Then she washes her hands of the blood and asks Kitchikoo for
a lolly :).
Soon the battle is over and the Yamacsico
crew can breath a little easier. Grand Admiral Fox decides that
one more Peace Treaty may be in order and sets up negotiations
with the Oni. Both Rum and Jingy agree that this would be a good
idea and the pact is signed. (During this time Kibbles thinks
that his love, Princess Rum, is getting gifts from a secret admirer,
but near the end of the episode it is discovered that she's just
getting the innards of tortured prisoners for snack food)
Ooooooh! Princess Rum and Ifiriri! If there
was ever a "Ms. Yamacsico" pageant, I wonder
After a while things are still quiet in the
OniCon bridge and Jingy starts to mope around thinking of his
lost love (there are hints as to who it is, but I don't want
to ruin the big surprise when we find out later;). His thoughts
are broken though when Emperor Bulbaus stumbles into the command
center drunker, fatter and overall more annoying than Megazone
on a bad day (well, I guess that's any day ^_^). Jingy's
upset, but he seems to know how to handle the situation. He tells
his master that there's a hidden nudie magazine somewhere in
the hangar bay 30 stories down. Bulbaus leaves and soon Jingy
leaves too to think of days gone by in his own quarters. A few
seconds later however, Bulbaus returns to ask where the magazines
were again. Finding his Supreme Onilord gone, Bulbaus takes it
upon himself to order the fleet around -_-. First matter of business
is to fire upon the ESDF Human Fleet (even though his soldiers
try to tell him about the treaty)!
Since no heavy ammunition is ready at the
moment, Zeldadis offers himself as a torpedo and is fired
at the ESDF ship the Minimac. It goes *boom*. Then Mr. Piggy
makes the Bigmac an even BIGGER *boom*!
In all the commotion, Jingy tries to assess
the damage and stop the attack, but Bulbaus is just too big of
a Schlong when he's sloshed and nobody can stop his orders (Ushiko
and Umao pop up in the Oni garbage chute and remove fruit and
vegetable peelings and other refuse from eachother as they verbalize
In the chaos in space, Izuzu by mistakenly
blows up the Oni mecha Lion-Go and the zany hilarity of
the horrors of war begin yet again @_@. What ya gonna do, eh?
After the fleets have distanced themselves,
Kenny Murasema finds himself in bed with Ally, but as soon as
the *um -HMMMM!* lovin' begins, poor ol' Kenny blows up upon
diseased contact with her and Ally is left very red in the face.....
and the hands.... and the walls..... I just hope that the other
horny guys on board learned from Murasema's mistake -_-, or the
Yamacsico could become a very sick place to live.
Here's blood in your eye!
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