don't know how the hell you found this place, but here you are.
This page is basically the ass-end of the Rossman web world.
I write boring stuff down here about me and things that happen
to me. Don't ask me why.
If you read this you're even lamer than me for writing it.
Rossman" Readings: At the ARCHIVEs
Go Back to the Rossman Chronicle
Note to self 125: 03/19/2001
boots kick ass! I need me some of my own, dammit! Other than
that, this year's
St. Patrick's Day
was not all I was hoping for. Sure I had fun with some good (and
some not so good) friends while listening to some really crappy
bands play their bad bad music way too loud while our waitress
took her sweet assed time getting us anything... But since I
was tricked into driving I never got the opportunity to get Blarney
Stoned. After making fun of the Phantom Menace (which
is getting too easy to do) I just went home at 2AM and called
it a night. The Wolfman, Mike and I then went to see Enemy
At the Gates on Sunday. It was a pretty good war movie, but
the whole love triangle thing sucked leprachaun ding dong. Soooooo
unneccesary. All I needed was Law and Harris shooting at eachother
and at other people for 2 hours and I would have been fine. Ron
Pearlman was a pretty bad ass with those silver teeth though.
I'm just getting over some Hoof and Mouth stuff,
so I might be well enough to actually get off my ass, stop watching
downloaded TV shows and work on my Examiner article in my spare
time. It might happen.
Note to self 124: 03/14/2001
again the Ides of March are almost upon us and so's my favorite
drinking holiday. Well, my 3rd fave drinking holiday, St.
God bless the sacred days dedicated to holy people in which we're
expected to chug a few pints at every bar we come across in our
modern day pub crawls.
I had some nice dinners out this past week, but otherwise
just bummed out with my friends. And all of us finally got to
see Timmon's new car! The bastard finally got it (only 2 1/2
months late). I still say it looks pretty pansy-like, but it
is a smooth ride. And it takes corners like stink on a monkey!
My sleeping schedule's been thrown totally off this
past week, but for good reasons. Going to the gym late, some
all night parties and lots of late night TV. It's all good.
Note to self 123: 03/08/2001
duty wasn't all bad, but that was only because of the judge and
the bailiff. The Plaintiff's attorney and the Defense attorney
were total asses. I did get to hang out with my mom's 2nd grade
class for a bit on Tuesday when earlier in the day we were dismissed
due to an out of court settlement. I'll get to everything in
my newest Examiner piece
In my free time I've just been watching Love Hina
(downloaded from online) and a few other shows. I decided to
give it a second chance, and it's proved itself to be pretty
messed up. That's always good. I'm almost done with it (I just
have 3 more episodes and the Christmas special to go). Probably
finish early next week.
Note to self 122: 02/26/2001
sweet Jeeeeezus! On a dare I've managed to brave Sonny's
all-you-can-eat Bar-B-Que twice in the past 4 days. I've since
died 7 times in as many hours.
Other than that I've just been watching tons of videos
with me pals and making plenty of Arnold prank calls using the
newly found Ah-nold Impersonator online. Lot's of juvenile laughs
there. I've got a new idea for the next Examiner piece I'm planning
on writing, but I'll probably wait until after my jury duty next
Monday just in case I get better fodder there.
Note to self 121: 02/12/2001
Black came to UGA this past week and did stand up for a full
house. Clint forgot to come but I found a new idol in Black.
He was/is so pissed off at everything and everybody in this world
that it brought a tear to my eye. I wish I could be that angry
also went to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon again on Wednesday.
The MegaPlayboy had yet to see it and I wanted to watch it again.
It was better the second time as I basically just marvelled in
the glorious wire-fu battle royales. I wish that I could jump
over roofs like that in a single bound. 'Twould be spiffy.
Thursday I took Melissa out and totally fucked up
my shoulder while bowling incorrectly. Yeah, I knew it was wrong
(especially after those wank-rod tubby semi-pros playing League
Tournament next to us rolled their fat asses off their seats
they were laughing so hard), but I did get 4 strikes my first
game. Second game I really screwed up, but who really gives a
shit? It's bowling! It's not a real sport. Though I shudder
to think what the world would be like without Kingpin.
Same goes for golf and Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore.
The 'sport' of golf sucks, but it spawned some pretty good movies.
the weekend came and I found out that Timmons had yet to see
the cinematic masterpiecio known as Silence of the Lambs even
once in his pitiful little life! So, before we headed out to
Hannibal I made him watch the beginning of Clarise Starling's
FBI career. As for Hannibal, the more I think about it
the less I liked it. Yeah, there was more onscreen killing occuring.
Sure, we got to see more of Dr. Lecter being creepy and violent.
And of course, we got to witness the good doctor and Special
Agent Starling sitting down to a delectable dinner with their
walking and talking feast at the head of the table next to them.
But it lacked most of what made SotL so great. No tension
anywhere. No real fear or sense of dread at any time. And Clarise
and Hannibal only really interact at the end of the movie. Of
course Ray Liotta's character's fate was fucking awesome, but
that was the best part of the movie. And what the hell was up
with Mason Verger? That dude was richer than Bill Gates' number
one whore and he couldn't afford a decent plastic surgeon? That's
the first thing I'd do if Dr. Lecter ever had me peel off my
own face. I'd pay to have a non-ugly dude defaced and his skin
put on my skull. When you're rich you can do that! That's
why people get rich!! Anyway, at least this movie had
man-eating pigs in it. So it wasn't all bad.
Note to self 120: 02/05/2001
heading back to Atlanta for a few days to rest and restock I
hung out with some family and broke part of my brother's house
(not on purpose this time). I moved a lot of heavy things (mattresses,
box springs and desks) and got lots of free meals.
Late last week I also dug into my closet and re-found
my Super NES along with around 20 games. I was pretty busy playing
Super Metroid, Super Mario World, Zelda: A Link to the Past,
Chrono Trigger etc, etc. I've said it before and I'll say
it again. Screw 3D graphics! It's been proven that they don't
make games better. Super Mario World and Zelda:ALTTP
are infinitely better than their N64 counterparts. Yeah they're
fun in 3D, but the whole gameplay changes and not for the best.
But since game makers always like to look forward and never backwards
I guess I'll just have to live with the classics that I have.
There's always the GameBoy Zeldas coming up too.
finally brings forth a movie worth the $8 admission charge. Hannibal
is back. I hope there are more quotable lines refering to cannibalism
in this one too! That "I ate his liver with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti" is great, but getting a little old now.
Note to self 119: 01/29/2001
little bitta party, a little bitta food, and a little bitta drink.
That sums up my weekend. A small gathering of friends on Friday
to watch Me, Myself and Irene and play some Nintendo lasted
well into Saturday. After two years of just staring at the box
for the Legend of Zelda: the Ocarina of Time I finally
sat down and just played through the final castle in the sky.
Ganon was the easiest boss in a Zelda game ever. A bit of a disappointment.
I learned his pattern in one fight, then went back and killed
him (in both incarnations) without losing 3 hearts. Not bragging,
just stating... and yes I do realize how lame it is too.
Sunday came and I went over to some friends' house
and watched the Super Bowl commercials. The game sucked arse.
The best commercial this year was the monkey crying over the
dead internet companies. How the hell can you go wrong with a
chimp making fun of pets.com? You just can't. Other than
that I cried myself to sleep just thinking about how poorly Aerosmith
flushed themselves down the shitter. They sold out. They sold
out bad. They sang on stage with N*Suck. I only pray that Steven
Tyler was able to get some out of Britney. That might make some
of what they did right.
Note to self 118: 01/23/2001
Tiger Hidden Dragon
is a cool movie. Good use of "Wire-Fu" martial arts
(i.e. actors flying through trees while fighting and jumping
over buildings as if they were a small puddle), but then again,
what isn't a good use of wire-fu? I think that move movies
should employ it. All in all CTHD was fun, but totally
overrated. I've seen better historic-like stuff (The Emperor
and the Assassin) and better fights (Drunken Master II)
in other movies and even on much grander scales, but for some
reason CTHD was raised above the others like a god-fu.
I just think it's curious is all.
I got one more Astro City book in and finished
it in a night. Tarnished Angel was good, but not the best
so far. Confessions still wins out with story telling.
Plan to start Earth X tonight and hopefully get it done
before the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comes in
later this week.
I have a party to go to tomorrow night and then Lewis
Black comes to UGA on the 5th of February! That should rock.
The guy's a comic genius.
Note to self 117: 01/16/2001
something like 2 months without a nice relaxing weekend all to
myself I made up for it in spades. It was a three day holiday
weekend and I think I only left my apartment three times (and
once was to throw beer cans at a car in the parking lot that
wouldn't stop honking its horn for 5 minutes to alert his buddy
that he was waiting). I spent the whole 72 hours just vegging
out. I watched shitloads of movies, television and DVDs (including
Double Take, Road Trip, Duece Bigalow, Army
of Darkness, Cowboy Bebop, Farscape and Jules
Verne), played N64 and Playstation till my thumbs were numb
(opened and cleared 3 more courses in Mario Golf 64 [I'm
up to the Mario Cup now], finally [after 2 full years of not
even looking at the cartridge] played Zelda: the Ocarina of
Time again and got to Ganon [who was easy but just needed
to slap me once to knock my one remaining heart off], and explored
a bit more of Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete), and read
some old comic books that I hadn't picked up in a while. I'll
probably beat Zelda this week if I have time. I even bought
some drapes and put them up to block out the sun in the morning
to allow me to sleep to the early/late afternoon Saturday through
Monday. Can't figure out why I never did that sooner.
Still trying to come up with an article for the next
Examiner... Damn I'm lazy.
Note to self 116: 01/09/2001
games and Evil Dead at Clint's on Friday, a drive to Atlanta
with the Wolfman on Saturday to see O' Brother, Where Art
Thou (one of the best movies I've seen in the past 9 months
[with some of the best wink, wink, nudge, nudge references to
Homer's the Odyssey, on which it was loosely based upon, pasted
throughout]), bummed out on Sunday and decided yesterday that
I WILL be going to visit my pal Angus in Hawaii before Summer
strikes. I plan to make him feel guilty about how much it costs
to travel down there so that he'll feel bad enough to let me
stay at his house on the beach. I hope it works.
I also can't forget to watch TV Funhouse this Wednesday!!
Triumph the Insult Dog will be on!! Sweet!
Note to self 115: 01/02/2001
the new millennium. Same old same old.
I did a lot these past few weeks. Movies, parties,
trips, etc. Christmas was fun. Got a nice leather jacket. Some
DVDs. Made some friends come over for a holiday party. Set myself
on fire and lost some armhair lighting the gas fireplace. Finished
Slayers Next on DVD. Went up to North Carolina to visit
some relatives (especially Nana). Got my aunt into Gameboy. Walked
a couple of rounds of golf with my Uncle, cousin, cousin in law
and Aunt. Came back to Athens in time for New Years. Went out
with an engaged woman. Watched some fireworks and then basically
slept. I have a major project on my list of things to do this
year that I should be getting started on pretty soon. 2001 is
already starting up to be a busy year.
Note to self 114: 12/18/2K
crap what a weekend. I feel like I've been flushed down the toilet
a few times this morning and have yet to come up for air (but
in a good way). It all started out on Friday when I journeyed
over to the orgy capital of Georgia, Rockdale County, to see
my good friend Chi-Chi and watch an assload of DVDs. We watched
tons of great shows and movies (including Fifth Element,
Riki-Oh, TV Funhouse and some Fishing With John),
had some Papa John's and Ice House and participated in a contest
of dubious disturbing abilities. We made it to 4AM rather easily
but found that the pizza didn't sustain us as we had hoped it
would and we traveled to the Awful Waffle to replenish our supplies
and reload (we were lucky enough to see Seanbaby there too!).
We then watched a few more discs but couldn't make it past 7.
The Mexicans next door (who need a taxi to go anywhere
and have it honk to alert them to its arrival) woke us up at
2 that afternoon and we began watching some more flicks till
we had to refuel yet again (for a huge late breakfast at the
Cracker Barrel). We continued to watch some ninja stuff up until
7 that night, at which time I had to get back to Athens for a
previously made appointment.
Sunday I got up relatively early (10AM) and got going
on my Christmas shopping. I hadn't done jack squat up until that
point but I was able to check off at least 9 out of 16 people
that I had to buy for. I got back to my place at around 6 at
night and found that the power for all of South Athens was ka-put.
So I went over to my friend's house to cook up a frozen meal
when I found out that my buddy Angus was back in town from Hawaii
for the Holidays. Then Clint, the MegaPlayboy, Angus and I went
to Outback Steakhouse for a late dinner (after I locked Clint
out of his place for a bit) to catch up on old times. Turns out
that island-boy is living too damn well for his own good (and
he doesn't seem to understand just how fucking glorious his beach-front
property life really is -_-). Well, at least somebody I know
is doing okay.... Not to put down any of my other friends' lifestyles
(or lack there of), including myself, but nobody else I know
can come close to living on a private beach in Hawaii with three
hot female roommates in a dream job that allows them to travel
the world (Japan, China, Europe, Australia, the US, etc.) whenever
they want to while enjoying their hot and hard-bodied fitness
instructor's "strenuous" workouts and being dragged
to party after party day after day whenever they're not surfing,
hiking or taking two gorgeous chicks out on a date. I'm going
to curl up in a ball in the corner and wait for Death to take
Note to self 113: 12/08/2K
God! What a day! Yesterday I drove the Mega Playboy over to Atlanta
so that he could pick up his Audi that he specially ordered from
the mother company in Germany. He had tons of extras put into
it: Brighter headlights, Quatro 4-wheel drive, Sportier seats,
a Special coat of paint, etc. etc.
Well, we got to the dealership at around 10:30 and
as we were walking up to the main building it appeared that his
car was sitting nice and pretty out front just waiting for him.
I started circling it and saw the sticker on it. What caught
my eye was that the mileage listed was 25 and 32. It was much
better than what the Playboy had said it would be (around 18
and 24). I pointed it out to him and he started to get a little
upset thinking that they screwed up his order. He took a look
at the sticker too and saw that the 4 wheel drive was not listed,
only 2 wheel drive for the front.
I told him not to worry, that it couldn't be his
car. "These are professional car people. They couldn't possibly
screw something that major up! They do this for a living,"
I stated. But soon the slick sales guy whom the Playboy had been
dealing with came out and asked him how he liked his car. My
friend's head slumped and he had to point out to the idiot that
they fucked up the most important feature he wanted (i.e. 4 wheel
drive). The sales guy took us to his office and looked through
his old order forms to "see what could have happened *gasp*"
(well, we knew what happened: the idiots started ass raping eachother
right after my buddy left their offices two months ago [thinking
that his Audi was ordered, when instead they used his paperwork
to shove things up other employees' crap holes]). The anal pirate
then started putting on the crocodile tears and basically told
my friend that he was screwed and that there was nothing anybody
could do. He was like "*SOB!* This is soooo horrible!
I can't believe this happened *sniff*..... Well, seeya
later and don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out."
The Playboy was still in shock but I was just pissed,
so I turned around and started to yell at the baby eater. Name
calling and accusations of sodomy and beastiality flew as I asked
the moron what they planned to do for me pal since they
farged up. He told us that "technically we didn't mess up
the order. You see, we sent in the right order to Germany, but
it was just for the wrong car." I shook my head in disbelief
as the flaming yak licker actually tried to explain how they
really DID order the right auto, but it wasn't their fault that
they were now trying to get the Playboy on all fours in the shower
stall. I was pretty amazed at that guy's jambrones and how he
thought he might actually convince us that nothing was indeed
wrong with the situation, but I came back to reality and began
asking the pig sniffer what they were going to do for my friend
in the meantime (he wouldn't have his car now for another 2 months).
After trying to weasel his way out of even giving him a loaner
or rental the Playboy came out of his shock and told me to butt
out. He turned to the vaseline-smelling salesman and began letting
off steam. I took that as my cue to wander the car lot (I began
to wonder just how gay we must've looked too. Two guys picking
up a sporty Audi and they seemed to have just had a tiff or a
spat in front of the slimy dealer man. Urrrgh -_-).
In the end the Mega Playboy (after 50 minutes of
arguing with the sales dude) was told that he'd get a call on
Monday to tell him what kind of a loaner they could give him
for the next 60 days. He sighed, realizing that was the best
he could get, and we found ourselves being pushed out the door
again. This time the Playboy saw the Audi merchandice display
case near the door and said "Hey, dickless, can I at least
get a free golf shirt!" It wasn't a question ^o^. The salesman
then got all apologetic and said "Sure! Sure! What color?
What style?... Uh, would your friend like one too?" I looked
at him like I was that guy in Scanners and said "Nah,
I like to use toilet paper to wipe my ass."
Afterwards we stayed at my parents' house for dinner
and the Playboy tried to figure out a numerical puzzle game for
most of the afternoon (he never did). Boy, what a fun ride back
to Athens that was that night! I couldn't stop laughing about
the dealership and the salesguy and the MegaPlayboy had to have
wanted to rip my head off the whole hour and a half drive into
town. Good times, good times.
Note to self 112: 12/04/2K
a butt-load more DVDs in today (FINALLY got Riki-Oh in).
This past weekend I had the Megaplayboy treat me and Clint to
a $125 dinner at Harry Bissett's in town. Damn filling! Saturday
the Wolfman and I went to see The Grinch in theaters.
It was okay (I probably would have loved it if I was a kid).
Other than that the US Supreme Court bitch slapped Gore down
a few notches today which hopefully helped decide our new leader
a bit faster than it would have without them butting in. Man,
we have got to be the laughing stock of the world right now...
Note to self 111: 11/27/2K
break is always a welcome treat. I spent mine partying, cooking
a $100 gourmet meal (a few days before Thanksgiving... it was
a 3lb beef tenderloin, freshly baked bread, fresh veggies, baked
potatoes, and I did a damn fine job), playing Final
Fantasy IX and watching some old favorites like Gunbuster,
Christmas Vacation and Hot Shots part Deux again.
I also went with a bunch of friends and saw Unbreakable
at the theaters last Friday! This turned out to be the greatest
super hero origin story I've ever seen! No real spoilers there,
as it's pretty obvious from the opening lines that it's supposed
to be a living comic book. But it's a real, living comic
book. And Mr. Glass was just awesome. I hope they finish the
trilogy that they wanted to make with those characters.
for Final Fantasy IX. I know that so many of you out there
were waiting and waiting for my views on the subject, so without
any further ado, Here's my impression:
start things off, I loved the fact that the morons at Square
actually did the right thing and brought back the GOD of character
designs, Yoshitaka Amano, to do the character and monster art
for the ninth installment of the series. But, being the idiots
that they are, Square had to fuck with what Amano turned in.
They took his wonderful style and turned everything into horrible
little super deformed versions of their once beautiful origins.
Don't get me wrong, I love SD stuff when done right. But there's
a time and a place for everything. And the time for screwing
up Amano's designs was about 7 years ago, and the place was the
Super Nintendo. There was no reason at all to screw up his perfect
sketches. The cinema opennings and endings in FFV and
FFVI proved that his images could be animated in their
original form. But in FFIX all the characters look like
evil and creepy Chuckie dolls from Child's Play. That
is just the wrong feel to have for a game with the Final Fantasy
name attached to it. Below I've included some Amano sketches
of 6 of the main characters just so you can see what they looked
like before they were "evilized".
Freya, Amarant, Eiko, Zidane, and Vivi
I got past that though, I really began getting into the game.
It definitely tries to forget all the angst that built up unnecessarily
in both FFVII and FFVIII and it just allows you
to have a good time with the polygon-heroes. The main character,
Zidane the monkey boy, is a wise ass. He's chivalrous and brave
and he never broods! That's always a plus. The rest of the characters
are introduced pretty well and they all merge together and make
walking around with them talking to villagers a fun thing to
do. Eiko, the little summoner, is by far my fave of the cast.
the characters comes the setting. Once again we've gone back
to the past (sort of) and visit medeival times. With some improvements
over reality with some much needed flying ships and some heavy
steam-venting technology. Classic fantasy elements and great
nods to the past are also found throughout the four disc game
(my faves were the four Chaos Lords straight from FFI,
the cloak of a white mage making a brief cameo early in the game,
the Behemoth monster directly from FFIV and the pinches
of music our beloved composer Nobuo Uematsu saw fit to "hide"
in his newest pieces of synthed orchestration).
things I liked about the game were the return to using four party
members in fights, the big use of moogles, the use of FFVI-type
magic learning, tons of side quests and mini games to play, and
incredible gameplay! The battles were much more challenging than
in the previous two FFs and all the abilities of the characters
took a long time to master. The whole mood of the game (from
the battles to the settings to the people) felt like a return
to the greatest game ever made, number six of the series. It
was as if Square learned its lesson and said "We're sorry"
to the world for numbers 7 and 8 (which, once again, are not
horrible games, just not good Final Fantasy games).
for what I didn't like. The second half of the story, the crappy
villain, the scary SD character designs, the not-so-fun new card
game and that really fucked up big blobby unisex chef. Gawd that
thing pissed me off. That was the most annoying FF character
since Cait Sith -_-.
The first half of the game the plot and the gratuitous use of
full motion video kept me glued. But after I reached disc 3 (in
only 16 hours -_-) everything kinda slowed down and the thrill
was lost. The black mage storyline ended way too abruptly and
that really fruity basket case guy with the gray dragon just
got even more annoying. Then we found out that Zidane (the kid
with the tail) was sent from another planet to prepare the Earth
for its destruction but he seems to have forgotten all this...
Waitaminute?!?! Hmmmm, that seems kinda familiar. And all the
big hoopla about "the return of the crystals" didn't
make sense until the last 10 minutes of the game. And even then
it didn't make any sense. The ending was okay, but the best part
was just getting there. Most of the monsters that appeared in
the last dungeon were straight from previous FFs but now rendered
in 3D polygons.
having played all 9 games in the series (with FFII being
the only one that I never truly finished), how would I rate IX?
Well, in order from Best to Worst it would go something like
this: FFVI, FFIV, FFI, FFIII, FFV, FFII, FFIX, FFVII, FFVIII.
I'd recommend IX, but not for the story. Play it to remember
how fun the old ones were and to listen to the music. And if
anybody knows where I can get either a Vivi or Eiko UFO Catcher
doll I'd appreciate it.
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