The Daily Rossman.  No gnus is good gnus!

  Well, I don't know how the hell you found this place, but here you are. This page is basically the ass-end of the Rossman web world. I write boring stuff down here about me and things that happen to me. Don't ask me why.
If you read this you're even lamer than me for writing it.

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Note to self 125: 03/19/2001
Gravity boots kick ass! I need me some of my own, dammit! Other than that, this year's St. Patrick's Day was not all I was hoping for. Sure I had fun with some good (and some not so good) friends while listening to some really crappy bands play their bad bad music way too loud while our waitress took her sweet assed time getting us anything... But since I was tricked into driving I never got the opportunity to get Blarney Stoned. After making fun of the Phantom Menace (which is getting too easy to do) I just went home at 2AM and called it a night. The Wolfman, Mike and I then went to see Enemy At the Gates on Sunday. It was a pretty good war movie, but the whole love triangle thing sucked leprachaun ding dong. Soooooo unneccesary. All I needed was Law and Harris shooting at eachother and at other people for 2 hours and I would have been fine. Ron Pearlman was a pretty bad ass with those silver teeth though.
  I'm just getting over some Hoof and Mouth stuff, so I might be well enough to actually get off my ass, stop watching downloaded TV shows and work on my Examiner article in my spare time. It might happen.

Note to self 124: 03/14/2001
Once again the Ides of March are almost upon us and so's my favorite drinking holiday. Well, my 3rd fave drinking holiday, St. Paddy's Day. God bless the sacred days dedicated to holy people in which we're expected to chug a few pints at every bar we come across in our modern day pub crawls.
  I had some nice dinners out this past week, but otherwise just bummed out with my friends. And all of us finally got to see Timmon's new car! The bastard finally got it (only 2 1/2 months late). I still say it looks pretty pansy-like, but it is a smooth ride. And it takes corners like stink on a monkey!
  My sleeping schedule's been thrown totally off this past week, but for good reasons. Going to the gym late, some all night parties and lots of late night TV. It's all good.

Note to self 123: 03/08/2001
Jury duty wasn't all bad, but that was only because of the judge and the bailiff. The Plaintiff's attorney and the Defense attorney were total asses. I did get to hang out with my mom's 2nd grade class for a bit on Tuesday when earlier in the day we were dismissed due to an out of court settlement. I'll get to everything in my newest Examiner piece soon enough.
  In my free time I've just been watching Love Hina (downloaded from online) and a few other shows. I decided to give it a second chance, and it's proved itself to be pretty messed up. That's always good. I'm almost done with it (I just have 3 more episodes and the Christmas special to go). Probably finish early next week.

Note to self 122: 02/26/2001
Holy sweet Jeeeeezus! On a dare I've managed to brave Sonny's all-you-can-eat Bar-B-Que twice in the past 4 days. I've since died 7 times in as many hours.
  Other than that I've just been watching tons of videos with me pals and making plenty of Arnold prank calls using the newly found Ah-nold Impersonator online. Lot's of juvenile laughs there. I've got a new idea for the next Examiner piece I'm planning on writing, but I'll probably wait until after my jury duty next Monday just in case I get better fodder there.

Note to self 121: 02/12/2001
Lewis Black came to UGA this past week and did stand up for a full house. Clint forgot to come but I found a new idol in Black. He was/is so pissed off at everything and everybody in this world that it brought a tear to my eye. I wish I could be that angry :(.

 I also went to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon again on Wednesday. The MegaPlayboy had yet to see it and I wanted to watch it again. It was better the second time as I basically just marvelled in the glorious wire-fu battle royales. I wish that I could jump over roofs like that in a single bound. 'Twould be spiffy.
  Thursday I took Melissa out and totally fucked up my shoulder while bowling incorrectly. Yeah, I knew it was wrong (especially after those wank-rod tubby semi-pros playing League Tournament next to us rolled their fat asses off their seats they were laughing so hard), but I did get 4 strikes my first game. Second game I really screwed up, but who really gives a shit? It's bowling! It's not a real sport. Though I shudder to think what the world would be like without Kingpin. Same goes for golf and Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore. The 'sport' of golf sucks, but it spawned some pretty good movies.

  Then the weekend came and I found out that Timmons had yet to see the cinematic masterpiecio known as Silence of the Lambs even once in his pitiful little life! So, before we headed out to Hannibal I made him watch the beginning of Clarise Starling's FBI career. As for Hannibal, the more I think about it the less I liked it. Yeah, there was more onscreen killing occuring. Sure, we got to see more of Dr. Lecter being creepy and violent. And of course, we got to witness the good doctor and Special Agent Starling sitting down to a delectable dinner with their walking and talking feast at the head of the table next to them. But it lacked most of what made SotL so great. No tension anywhere. No real fear or sense of dread at any time. And Clarise and Hannibal only really interact at the end of the movie. Of course Ray Liotta's character's fate was fucking awesome, but that was the best part of the movie. And what the hell was up with Mason Verger? That dude was richer than Bill Gates' number one whore and he couldn't afford a decent plastic surgeon? That's the first thing I'd do if Dr. Lecter ever had me peel off my own face. I'd pay to have a non-ugly dude defaced and his skin put on my skull. When you're rich you can do that! That's why people get rich!! Anyway, at least this movie had man-eating pigs in it. So it wasn't all bad.

Note to self 120: 02/05/2001
After heading back to Atlanta for a few days to rest and restock I hung out with some family and broke part of my brother's house (not on purpose this time). I moved a lot of heavy things (mattresses, box springs and desks) and got lots of free meals.
  Late last week I also dug into my closet and re-found my Super NES along with around 20 games. I was pretty busy playing Super Metroid, Super Mario World, Zelda: A Link to the Past, Chrono Trigger etc, etc. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Screw 3D graphics! It's been proven that they don't make games better. Super Mario World and Zelda:ALTTP are infinitely better than their N64 counterparts. Yeah they're fun in 3D, but the whole gameplay changes and not for the best. But since game makers always like to look forward and never backwards I guess I'll just have to live with the classics that I have. There's always the GameBoy Zeldas coming up too.

  Friday finally brings forth a movie worth the $8 admission charge. Hannibal is back. I hope there are more quotable lines refering to cannibalism in this one too! That "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti" is great, but getting a little old now.

Note to self 119: 01/29/2001
A little bitta party, a little bitta food, and a little bitta drink. That sums up my weekend. A small gathering of friends on Friday to watch Me, Myself and Irene and play some Nintendo lasted well into Saturday. After two years of just staring at the box for the Legend of Zelda: the Ocarina of Time I finally sat down and just played through the final castle in the sky. Ganon was the easiest boss in a Zelda game ever. A bit of a disappointment. I learned his pattern in one fight, then went back and killed him (in both incarnations) without losing 3 hearts. Not bragging, just stating... and yes I do realize how lame it is too.
  Sunday came and I went over to some friends' house and watched the Super Bowl commercials. The game sucked arse. The best commercial this year was the monkey crying over the dead internet companies. How the hell can you go wrong with a chimp making fun of You just can't. Other than that I cried myself to sleep just thinking about how poorly Aerosmith flushed themselves down the shitter. They sold out. They sold out bad. They sang on stage with N*Suck. I only pray that Steven Tyler was able to get some out of Britney. That might make some of what they did right.

Note to self 118: 01/23/2001
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is a cool movie. Good use of "Wire-Fu" martial arts (i.e. actors flying through trees while fighting and jumping over buildings as if they were a small puddle), but then again, what isn't a good use of wire-fu? I think that move movies should employ it. All in all CTHD was fun, but totally overrated. I've seen better historic-like stuff (The Emperor and the Assassin) and better fights (Drunken Master II) in other movies and even on much grander scales, but for some reason CTHD was raised above the others like a god-fu. I just think it's curious is all.
  I got one more Astro City book in and finished it in a night. Tarnished Angel was good, but not the best so far. Confessions still wins out with story telling. Plan to start Earth X tonight and hopefully get it done before the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comes in later this week.
  I have a party to go to tomorrow night and then Lewis Black comes to UGA on the 5th of February! That should rock. The guy's a comic genius.

Note to self 117: 01/16/2001
After something like 2 months without a nice relaxing weekend all to myself I made up for it in spades. It was a three day holiday weekend and I think I only left my apartment three times (and once was to throw beer cans at a car in the parking lot that wouldn't stop honking its horn for 5 minutes to alert his buddy that he was waiting). I spent the whole 72 hours just vegging out. I watched shitloads of movies, television and DVDs (including Double Take, Road Trip, Duece Bigalow, Army of Darkness, Cowboy Bebop, Farscape and Jules Verne), played N64 and Playstation till my thumbs were numb (opened and cleared 3 more courses in Mario Golf 64 [I'm up to the Mario Cup now], finally [after 2 full years of not even looking at the cartridge] played Zelda: the Ocarina of Time again and got to Ganon [who was easy but just needed to slap me once to knock my one remaining heart off], and explored a bit more of Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete), and read some old comic books that I hadn't picked up in a while. I'll probably beat Zelda this week if I have time. I even bought some drapes and put them up to block out the sun in the morning to allow me to sleep to the early/late afternoon Saturday through Monday. Can't figure out why I never did that sooner.
  Still trying to come up with an article for the next Examiner... Damn I'm lazy.

Note to self 116: 01/09/2001
Video games and Evil Dead at Clint's on Friday, a drive to Atlanta with the Wolfman on Saturday to see O' Brother, Where Art Thou (one of the best movies I've seen in the past 9 months [with some of the best wink, wink, nudge, nudge references to Homer's the Odyssey, on which it was loosely based upon, pasted throughout]), bummed out on Sunday and decided yesterday that I WILL be going to visit my pal Angus in Hawaii before Summer strikes. I plan to make him feel guilty about how much it costs to travel down there so that he'll feel bad enough to let me stay at his house on the beach. I hope it works.
 I also can't forget to watch TV Funhouse this Wednesday!! Triumph the Insult Dog will be on!! Sweet!

Note to self 115: 01/02/2001
Finally, the new millennium. Same old same old.
  I did a lot these past few weeks. Movies, parties, trips, etc. Christmas was fun. Got a nice leather jacket. Some DVDs. Made some friends come over for a holiday party. Set myself on fire and lost some armhair lighting the gas fireplace. Finished Slayers Next on DVD. Went up to North Carolina to visit some relatives (especially Nana). Got my aunt into Gameboy. Walked a couple of rounds of golf with my Uncle, cousin, cousin in law and Aunt. Came back to Athens in time for New Years. Went out with an engaged woman. Watched some fireworks and then basically slept. I have a major project on my list of things to do this year that I should be getting started on pretty soon. 2001 is already starting up to be a busy year.

Note to self 114: 12/18/2K
Holy crap what a weekend. I feel like I've been flushed down the toilet a few times this morning and have yet to come up for air (but in a good way). It all started out on Friday when I journeyed over to the orgy capital of Georgia, Rockdale County, to see my good friend Chi-Chi and watch an assload of DVDs. We watched tons of great shows and movies (including Fifth Element, Riki-Oh, TV Funhouse and some Fishing With John), had some Papa John's and Ice House and participated in a contest of dubious disturbing abilities. We made it to 4AM rather easily but found that the pizza didn't sustain us as we had hoped it would and we traveled to the Awful Waffle to replenish our supplies and reload (we were lucky enough to see Seanbaby there too!). We then watched a few more discs but couldn't make it past 7.
  The Mexicans next door (who need a taxi to go anywhere and have it honk to alert them to its arrival) woke us up at 2 that afternoon and we began watching some more flicks till we had to refuel yet again (for a huge late breakfast at the Cracker Barrel). We continued to watch some ninja stuff up until 7 that night, at which time I had to get back to Athens for a previously made appointment.
  Sunday I got up relatively early (10AM) and got going on my Christmas shopping. I hadn't done jack squat up until that point but I was able to check off at least 9 out of 16 people that I had to buy for. I got back to my place at around 6 at night and found that the power for all of South Athens was ka-put. So I went over to my friend's house to cook up a frozen meal when I found out that my buddy Angus was back in town from Hawaii for the Holidays. Then Clint, the MegaPlayboy, Angus and I went to Outback Steakhouse for a late dinner (after I locked Clint out of his place for a bit) to catch up on old times. Turns out that island-boy is living too damn well for his own good (and he doesn't seem to understand just how fucking glorious his beach-front property life really is -_-). Well, at least somebody I know is doing okay.... Not to put down any of my other friends' lifestyles (or lack there of), including myself, but nobody else I know can come close to living on a private beach in Hawaii with three hot female roommates in a dream job that allows them to travel the world (Japan, China, Europe, Australia, the US, etc.) whenever they want to while enjoying their hot and hard-bodied fitness instructor's "strenuous" workouts and being dragged to party after party day after day whenever they're not surfing, hiking or taking two gorgeous chicks out on a date. I'm going to curl up in a ball in the corner and wait for Death to take me now.

Note to self 113: 12/08/2K
Good God! What a day! Yesterday I drove the Mega Playboy over to Atlanta so that he could pick up his Audi that he specially ordered from the mother company in Germany. He had tons of extras put into it: Brighter headlights, Quatro 4-wheel drive, Sportier seats, a Special coat of paint, etc. etc.
  Well, we got to the dealership at around 10:30 and as we were walking up to the main building it appeared that his car was sitting nice and pretty out front just waiting for him. I started circling it and saw the sticker on it. What caught my eye was that the mileage listed was 25 and 32. It was much better than what the Playboy had said it would be (around 18 and 24). I pointed it out to him and he started to get a little upset thinking that they screwed up his order. He took a look at the sticker too and saw that the 4 wheel drive was not listed, only 2 wheel drive for the front.
  I told him not to worry, that it couldn't be his car. "These are professional car people. They couldn't possibly screw something that major up! They do this for a living," I stated. But soon the slick sales guy whom the Playboy had been dealing with came out and asked him how he liked his car. My friend's head slumped and he had to point out to the idiot that they fucked up the most important feature he wanted (i.e. 4 wheel drive). The sales guy took us to his office and looked through his old order forms to "see what could have happened *gasp*" (well, we knew what happened: the idiots started ass raping eachother right after my buddy left their offices two months ago [thinking that his Audi was ordered, when instead they used his paperwork to shove things up other employees' crap holes]). The anal pirate then started putting on the crocodile tears and basically told my friend that he was screwed and that there was nothing anybody could do. He was like "*SOB!* This is soooo horrible! I can't believe this happened *sniff*..... Well, seeya later and don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out."
  The Playboy was still in shock but I was just pissed, so I turned around and started to yell at the baby eater. Name calling and accusations of sodomy and beastiality flew as I asked the moron what they planned to do for me pal since they farged up. He told us that "technically we didn't mess up the order. You see, we sent in the right order to Germany, but it was just for the wrong car." I shook my head in disbelief as the flaming yak licker actually tried to explain how they really DID order the right auto, but it wasn't their fault that they were now trying to get the Playboy on all fours in the shower stall. I was pretty amazed at that guy's jambrones and how he thought he might actually convince us that nothing was indeed wrong with the situation, but I came back to reality and began asking the pig sniffer what they were going to do for my friend in the meantime (he wouldn't have his car now for another 2 months). After trying to weasel his way out of even giving him a loaner or rental the Playboy came out of his shock and told me to butt out. He turned to the vaseline-smelling salesman and began letting off steam. I took that as my cue to wander the car lot (I began to wonder just how gay we must've looked too. Two guys picking up a sporty Audi and they seemed to have just had a tiff or a spat in front of the slimy dealer man. Urrrgh -_-).
  In the end the Mega Playboy (after 50 minutes of arguing with the sales dude) was told that he'd get a call on Monday to tell him what kind of a loaner they could give him for the next 60 days. He sighed, realizing that was the best he could get, and we found ourselves being pushed out the door again. This time the Playboy saw the Audi merchandice display case near the door and said "Hey, dickless, can I at least get a free golf shirt!" It wasn't a question ^o^. The salesman then got all apologetic and said "Sure! Sure! What color? What style?... Uh, would your friend like one too?" I looked at him like I was that guy in Scanners and said "Nah, I like to use toilet paper to wipe my ass."
  Afterwards we stayed at my parents' house for dinner and the Playboy tried to figure out a numerical puzzle game for most of the afternoon (he never did). Boy, what a fun ride back to Athens that was that night! I couldn't stop laughing about the dealership and the salesguy and the MegaPlayboy had to have wanted to rip my head off the whole hour and a half drive into town. Good times, good times.

Note to self 112: 12/04/2K
Got a butt-load more DVDs in today (FINALLY got Riki-Oh in). This past weekend I had the Megaplayboy treat me and Clint to a $125 dinner at Harry Bissett's in town. Damn filling! Saturday the Wolfman and I went to see The Grinch in theaters. It was okay (I probably would have loved it if I was a kid). Other than that the US Supreme Court bitch slapped Gore down a few notches today which hopefully helped decide our new leader a bit faster than it would have without them butting in. Man, we have got to be the laughing stock of the world right now... again -_-.

Note to self 111: 11/27/2K
Thanksgiving break is always a welcome treat. I spent mine partying, cooking a $100 gourmet meal (a few days before Thanksgiving... it was a 3lb beef tenderloin, freshly baked bread, fresh veggies, baked potatoes, and I did a damn fine job), playing Final Fantasy IX and watching some old favorites like Gunbuster, Christmas Vacation and Hot Shots part Deux again. I also went with a bunch of friends and saw Unbreakable at the theaters last Friday! This turned out to be the greatest super hero origin story I've ever seen! No real spoilers there, as it's pretty obvious from the opening lines that it's supposed to be a living comic book. But it's a real, living comic book. And Mr. Glass was just awesome. I hope they finish the trilogy that they wanted to make with those characters.

  Now for Final Fantasy IX. I know that so many of you out there were waiting and waiting for my views on the subject, so without any further ado, Here's my impression:

Final Fantasy IX
To start things off, I loved the fact that the morons at Square actually did the right thing and brought back the GOD of character designs, Yoshitaka Amano, to do the character and monster art for the ninth installment of the series. But, being the idiots that they are, Square had to fuck with what Amano turned in. They took his wonderful style and turned everything into horrible little super deformed versions of their once beautiful origins. Don't get me wrong, I love SD stuff when done right. But there's a time and a place for everything. And the time for screwing up Amano's designs was about 7 years ago, and the place was the Super Nintendo. There was no reason at all to screw up his perfect sketches. The cinema opennings and endings in FFV and FFVI proved that his images could be animated in their original form. But in FFIX all the characters look like evil and creepy Chuckie dolls from Child's Play. That is just the wrong feel to have for a game with the Final Fantasy name attached to it. Below I've included some Amano sketches of 6 of the main characters just so you can see what they looked like before they were "evilized".

Damn fine!
Garnet, Freya, Amarant, Eiko, Zidane, and Vivi

Once I got past that though, I really began getting into the game. It definitely tries to forget all the angst that built up unnecessarily in both FFVII and FFVIII and it just allows you to have a good time with the polygon-heroes. The main character, Zidane the monkey boy, is a wise ass. He's chivalrous and brave and he never broods! That's always a plus. The rest of the characters are introduced pretty well and they all merge together and make walking around with them talking to villagers a fun thing to do. Eiko, the little summoner, is by far my fave of the cast.

Beyond the characters comes the setting. Once again we've gone back to the past (sort of) and visit medeival times. With some improvements over reality with some much needed flying ships and some heavy steam-venting technology. Classic fantasy elements and great nods to the past are also found throughout the four disc game (my faves were the four Chaos Lords straight from FFI, the cloak of a white mage making a brief cameo early in the game, the Behemoth monster directly from FFIV and the pinches of music our beloved composer Nobuo Uematsu saw fit to "hide" in his newest pieces of synthed orchestration).

Other things I liked about the game were the return to using four party members in fights, the big use of moogles, the use of FFVI-type magic learning, tons of side quests and mini games to play, and incredible gameplay! The battles were much more challenging than in the previous two FFs and all the abilities of the characters took a long time to master. The whole mood of the game (from the battles to the settings to the people) felt like a return to the greatest game ever made, number six of the series. It was as if Square learned its lesson and said "We're sorry" to the world for numbers 7 and 8 (which, once again, are not horrible games, just not good Final Fantasy games).

Now for what I didn't like. The second half of the story, the crappy villain, the scary SD character designs, the not-so-fun new card game and that really fucked up big blobby unisex chef. Gawd that thing pissed me off. That was the most annoying FF character since Cait Sith -_-.
The first half of the game the plot and the gratuitous use of full motion video kept me glued. But after I reached disc 3 (in only 16 hours -_-) everything kinda slowed down and the thrill was lost. The black mage storyline ended way too abruptly and that really fruity basket case guy with the gray dragon just got even more annoying. Then we found out that Zidane (the kid with the tail) was sent from another planet to prepare the Earth for its destruction but he seems to have forgotten all this... Waitaminute?!?! Hmmmm, that seems kinda familiar. And all the big hoopla about "the return of the crystals" didn't make sense until the last 10 minutes of the game. And even then it didn't make any sense. The ending was okay, but the best part was just getting there. Most of the monsters that appeared in the last dungeon were straight from previous FFs but now rendered in 3D polygons.

Sooooo, having played all 9 games in the series (with FFII being the only one that I never truly finished), how would I rate IX? Well, in order from Best to Worst it would go something like this: FFVI, FFIV, FFI, FFIII, FFV, FFII, FFIX, FFVII, FFVIII. I'd recommend IX, but not for the story. Play it to remember how fun the old ones were and to listen to the music. And if anybody knows where I can get either a Vivi or Eiko UFO Catcher doll I'd appreciate it.

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