 The Magical ROSSMAN
Okay, I suppose that even Super Anime Studios,
such as the powerful Gainax, are allowed to drop the
ball once or twice in their lifetimes. And it's not even like Abenobashi is
all that bad per se (it's still better than 90% of all the
stuff I've ever seen)... It's just that I guess I've come to
constantly
expect the "completely incredible"
out of the Giant X, as they've blown me away on just about
every project
that
they've
ever partaken in. From the first minute I saw Gunbuster,
Wings of Honneymayonnaise, Otaku no Video, Nadia,
His and Her, Eva and FLCL I
knew that I was going to liquify my pants with juices of
pleasure.
Even
though
it took a few episodes (and even though it was basically "Gainax-lite")
I still came to love Mahoromatic for all it
was worth too. But Abenobashi....
Well, let me tell you a bit about it first, and
maybe in explaining it to you I myself may come to a different
conclusion as to how I should rate it. Sasshi and Arumi are
6th graders and lifelong friends. The Osaka town that they
grew up in is basically getting torn down (even though it is
a tight-knit neighborhood, it was getting really old and starting
to crumble), and Arumi's family is making her move all the
way up to Hokkaido so her dad could get out from under his
own father's shadow in order to be the head chef in a fancy
French restaurant.
Sasshi's family's bath
house
has
already been
destroyed
and we start off the whole story with him whining about their
situations and Arumi chiding him that life goes on, and the
world will keep on spinning no matter how much he bellyaches.
But soon, Arumi's crotchety grandfather accidentally breaks
one of the sacred ornamental guardians of the town and almost
takes
a swan dive into the pavement off his restaurants' roof.
Then things get freaky for the two kids. They find themselves
jumping from life to life, staring at mirror images that are
not their own. Hoping that each leap will be the leap home.
Heh, I should have added Dr. Sam Beckett to the title collage
above.
Anyway, Sasshi and Arumi keep moving from one
ridiculous world to the next and they have no idea why or how
this is happening. All the worlds are based on things that
Sasshi likes (RPGs, giant robot shows, war movies, dating sims,
etc.), but is that because he's controlling it? Is it because
somebody is trying to make him happy?... I'm not telling.
One thing the duo realizes right off the bat
is that the worlds that they keep jumping to are bizarre to
the
umpth
degree.
All of their neighbors and friends reside in each of the
wacky and zany and kooky places that they go to (each world
is basically a different version of their beloved Abenobashi
Shopping
District),
but they all have different roles to play depending on their
new surroundings. And there are two new players that pop up
in the new realities whom the kids have never even seen before:
Munemune and Utas. Munemune is a bouncy (read: BOUNCY)
glasses wearing cutie, and Utas is a mysterious and brooding
blue-haired
guy
who seems to be the only one able to comprehend all the bizarre
happenings. Neither really clarifies or helps Sasshi
or Arumi very much
at first... but then came episode 7. Up until episode 7 I was
giggling every now and then at the weird situations and funny
parodies (the parodies of Abenobashi are better
than their equivalents in Excel Saga. They
go further and they're even more rapid fire... if you can believe
that), but I was starting
to get a bit bored. It seemed that the show just existed to
make fun of popular genres of entertainment (which is fine
and all for an episode or two, but parody series need plot
too). But episode 7 set me straight. 7 takes us back in time
to the
beginning
of
the Abenobashi Shotengai and gives us a few hints about the
looniness that we just got through. It was pure Gainax magic.
But then we went back into a few more episodes filled with
parodies that kind of lost me again before returning to the
main story
and the hows and whys of it all, and the trippy finalé.
Really, I enjoyed the "real world" episodes
and the explanation episodes much more than the satire ones.
Although,
the "American Movies" parody had me laughing out
loud and punching the sofa cushion next to me (and sometimes
Chi-Chi in the gut). I watched
that one twice before moving on. They make fun of
everything
from the Terminator's arrival in the past, to Die Hard's
skyscraper rooftop explosions, to Hitchcock's North
By Northwest plane chase.
The references were so fast and furious and I couldn't believe
how many old movies they had in there too! Not that
it was a downside
for me, but I'm sure that 95% of the population will miss 50%
or more of the jokes
that fly out of the screen throughout Abenobashi's
13 episode run. I'm sure that I missed a good number
of them and I'm pretty fluent in my knowledge of television,
anime, Hollywood movies,
gaming, tokimeki sims, mobsters, the Heian period and quantum
physics. It never slows down and it never stops to explain
a gag. If you are confused by the fact that that one girl turned
into a cyborg angel and flew away after Sasshi picked her rival
to confess to... You'll always be confused. You either get
it, or you don't and you'll be scratching your head for a good
long while after you're done watching it. The main storyline
about the Abenobashi Shopping District itself is pretty much
spelled out for you, but you have to be "in the know" in
order to fully appreciate all the humor. It seems to me that
Gainax
only made this series as an in-joke for uber-fans of their
own favorite pastimes. It's the kind of thing that loses its
wittiness if you have to have it explained to you.
Looking back at it, Abenobashi is
like a clumpy mix of Excel Saga's parody ability, FLCL's
hyperness and eccentricities, and the Matrix's
view of being able to bend the rules of your own universe.
Plus, Abenobashi's theme (as chaotic as it
may seem, yes, it has one) is about fate, and accepting what
you cannot
control.... However, despite the loooong and kooky road it
took to get to that conclusion, the ending is a complete copout.
Seriously, I thought better of Gainax. They basically sat us
down, learned
us a lesson, and then in the end (like dipshit parents who
cave in too easily to their whining children) said, "Well,
I guess you learned your lesson, so you can have the happy
as a pig-in-shit ending that you thought you wanted from the
beginning." Well I didn't want it! I learned my lesson
along with Sasshi and Arumi dammit! If I had to grow up, then
so
should have they had to do it with the not being little children
anymore!!! ARRRRGH!!!!!! So lame!!! And it had such potential
to just bat the finalé out of the park with very little
effort... *Sigh*
What did I think of Abenobashi
Mahou Magical Land of Purchasing Desires? Well,
when all is said and done I did enjoy the trip. I give it
245 out
of 276 Points of Nonconformity. It wasn't bad, and
if it had been any other studio I would have given it another
10
to 20 Points. But Gainax has just raised the bar so high
for itself that anything less than perfection from them is
just wrong. Though I can't wait for this to come out in the
States
just
to see all the 1337-lamers pretend that they got every
single in-joke that filled this show to the brim. I would
love to just sit down with a bunch of them and make them
try to explain every verbal and sight gag that comes up.
Then I would kill them. Kill all the 1337ers. Just cause
they piss me off.
|
The Bizarro CHI-CHI
Aye yi yiiiiiiiiiii! Seriously now, I've never
really done anything to piss off the Rossman more than filling
his socks with Miracle Whip... So why does he keep torturing
me with these animes that just do nothing but confuse the living
retardation out of me?! Not only that, but they keep bringing
back memories of terrible childhood experiences that I tried
to lock away for years.
Now this Magical Shopping Mall thing
looked all cute and harmless at first glance, but soon all
the repressed
recollections of clothes shopping with my mom when I was like
five came floating to the surface of my consciousness like
a giant turd that simply won't flush. I remember going from
Sears
to JC Penney to Macy's looking for the perfect little dress
for me to wear to my first day of kindergarten... That's right,
thanks to Mommy Dearest I had to spend the first few foundation
years of my life thinking that I was just an ugly little girl
with a baby elephant trapped between my legs. Thanks to this
show I now wake up in the middle of the night again screaming,
"I'm sorry, Mommy! I won't pee my tights again!" Oh great....
And now that repressed memory of being made to stick Mom's
cigs up my ass and walk out of the convenience store like I
had loaded undies just came back for a visit. Thanks!
I decree that this anime can
lick my nuts and spit out the pubes just li-.... Oh
shit! There's ANOTHER suppressed memory...
|
The Shop-aholic ANGRY AMY
This anime was so retarded that it almost made
me hate going to the mall... Almost. I mean, if I let this
piece of crap get to me and ruin my fucking future then I let
the Rossman win. I've got to carry on and live my life my way
no matter what that fucker throws in my face.
(Rossman here:
Hey! That's like the whole theme of Abenobashi rolled up
into one expletive-filled ramble! Way
to pay attention, Angry Amy!)
I give it 1 out of 10 Zillion Stars. Fuck off.
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