-"It turns out that waiting patiently and otaku do not go as well together as 'Hey, you got your peanut butter on my chocolate!'. Once more the police had to be called in to handle the situation. Can't we all just get along?"
-"Roger that, base. We detained the trouble-maker. He's an otaku just like we thought."
-"Jeezus, Phil! Don't they ever bathe?!?!"
-"Neow. Finally we we let into the huge room (a combined Track 1-3) and Oni-chan and I pushed our way up to the front and sat with the people running the show. They were pretty cool about it too! I didn't even have to kill. Not one person. Amazing, huh-tcha?
Catsy led the restless crowd in a sing-a-long version of the Dragon Half ending theme....
Whilest I checked out the Preparation Room for all the cosplayers. Why the hell is there always either a transvestite Shampoo or Sailor Senshi or both in every competition?!?!? Do they actually think they'll win? Well, I guess that really depends on who the judges are, hmmmm?
Finally, the lights dimmed a little and the head honcho came on stage and introduced the three lovely presenters: Belldandy, Urd, and Skuld. Lot's of boys whistled and hollered at them and the goddesses promised to 'take it off' at a special midnight showing..... That would probably be interesting enough to check out.
They welcomed us, struck a pose, raised their arms to the sky and shouted, "Let the slaughter begin!! MORTAL KOMBAT!!!"
Then the reign of coolness began! While it was obviously only a first year cosplay, they had quite a turnout of cool costumes and skits! I was really disappointed that Kenji didn't participate, but I found out why later."
-"You're getting ahead of yourself, girl. Let's just start at the beginning and give a rundown of the skits and then tell everyone who won what..... And we'll show them the crappy pictures."
-"Aaaaaiiiiieee-ah! That's mean, Oni-chan. You know I don't know how to work anything electronic other than my Playstation."
-"Hey, if you got to make fun of the 'Meet the Guests' incident, then I surely get to bring this up. You see, folks, Catsy was really eager to take a picture or two of something at the con to feel as if she was a part of it (lame-oh!) or something. So, being the good lil' demon that I am I gave her the camera for most of the cosplay... Needless to say, Catsy sucks at virtually everything she attempts to do."
-"*Whaaaaaaaaaaaa!* You're always so mean to me! *Sniff*"
-"So, without any further
ado, the cosplay (now let's all look at Catsy's crappy pictures
and laugh at her):
Damn! These are blurrier than I remember. Why did you have to shake the camera so friggin' much, Cat?
-"Then Sailor Chibi Moon walked
on and quickly walked off. Neow. I wonder if I scared her when
I held up my 'Death to Sailor Senshi' sign and flicked her off?
-"He scared the entire audience. And I think his/her mom still abuses him. Anyway, Umi from Rayearth came on next and performed a soliloquy (a dramatic monologue in which a character's thoughts are revealed with no listener present) to the dead head of Mokona. All the while the guy sitting at the front of the stage held up some cards for the audience to read that showed us what Umi really thought of the dead fluffy maggot in her outstretched hand.
"Death of the Marshmellow" was a beautiful, touching piece *sniff*. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. I believe that everybody wanted that little f***er dead.
Hmmmm, I believe that's the only one Catsy didn't
screw up that bad.
-"After that Eternal Sailor Moon appeared on the stage out of nowhere-tcha! Or maybe I was too busy looking for the walking consession guy to have seen. Who knows. She said some nuggets of Moonie wisdom and then departed.
Is it Sailor Moon Eternal or Van Fanel?
Neow. Ranma female then came out and taunted the entire female half of the crowd (I guess she was aiming it at Shampoo too) by telling us about her supperior attributes and abilities even though she was really a guy. What nerve!!! Well, Oni-chan and I showed how superior we were later on behind the dumpsters. I wonder if they found the body yet?"
-"Nani? Oh, gomen!! I meant. 'I plundered the bookies with my bad ski bet.'"
-"Nice recovery. After Ran-chan came the second transvestite
from Transylvania of the night, Yuri from Dirty Pair Flash
(he was dirty alright). Was there something in the
"You want to eat me for the rest of time?! Tora- baby, kiss my grits."
Some skit that I couldn't even remember came and went (wow, it must've been something kick ass) and another Goku jumped up on stage followed by Naga. They were contestants in an eating contest against each other which turned into a violent duel to the death with blood and body parts flying everywhere. And then Tora got on stage and ate the rest of the food. Bastard!"
What the hell is this a picture of?!?! Way to go, Catsy.
-"After Goku got medieval on Naga and Tora's butts Zeiram walked on. This was a pretty rugged costume, let me tell you. The little white head on top even jumped out of his hat! I wish I had that hat, it would be so much easier to eat spleens and gall bladders that way, you know?
Before Catsy had a bunch of candy and coffee; and after the caffeine rush.
Then, like a poem in the twilight, the Moonlight Knight appeared and dazzled the judges by handing each of them a bright white rose. He quickly got off the stage and was immediately followed by..... Tuxedo Kamen???? TK started off by giving us two 'very important pieces of advice'. The first was to never give in to the Negaverse, and the second was to never, repeat never tell your roommate what you're going to do for a cosplay and then let him go on ahead of you. He then proceeded to hand the judges each a bright red rose (but he also had enough for the 3 goddesses too^_^). I think I'd simply kill Oni-chan if she tried something like that-tcha."
"But seriously, folks, it's great to be here. And for my next trick I'll make a moon rabbit appear from out of my hat!"
-"Yeah, try and die, kitty. Anyway, after the backstabbing ceased, Chun Li and Cammy beat the living $#*% outta Kuno several times. I laughed even though it seemed like it wasn't going to end (he kept getting back up!).
Then the cutest thing I've ever seen (even cuter than my baby pictures^_^) got up on stage. A Mini-Sailor Jupiter!! Kawaii!!! She gave a speech about how she was the best Sailor Senshi and did her 'Jupiter Thunder Throw'... or whatever it was called. She smiled as she hopped off the stage to her standing ovation. Then everybody said, 'Aaaaaaawwwwe.'"
Damn that's cute!
Isn't she precious (and I don't mean in a Golem sort of way)!
-"I said 'Aaaaaaaaawwwwe' too (and
I even saw Oni-chan say it when she thought nobody was looking.
She even tilted her head when she said it).
"I'm blind. Get it? I'm blind."
Asuka then got up, but she didn't have a skit-tcha. She thought that she would win just for wearing nothing but spandex. I was just glad that she didn't bring Pen^2 along with her."
Our next model on the runway is the fiesty Second Children from Tokyo-3. She goes to school in the typical sailor outfit, but after class she likes to fight God's holy Angels in this stunning one-piece made of spandex and lycra which only costs the tax-payers 2.2 million dollars per suit. You go, Ms. Langley!
-"Then a sailor school girl came out (I have no friggin' clue who she was) followed by the final skit in which Zeiram broke loose and killed all the other contestants except Son Goku who turned Super-Saiyajin and whupped his alien booty with a fireball.
I wish that Oni-chan and me could have joined in the fun in killing all those evil vestites and senshi.
This one I actually took right, it's just that Goku and Zeiram were moving at super human (or film) speeds. Kooky.
Then everybody got up on stage and the audience was allowed to take their pictures while the judges left to tally their votes or hit the head. I'm not sure what they really said."
Goku... on steroids?
Who the hell are those guys between Umi and Naga? Are they even in costume? I think they walked in off the street, saw people wearing freakier looking clothes than they were and joined in.
More group shots.
-"Neow. After all the picture taking, the cosplayers rejoined the land of the general otaku as they sat down in the audience. Then the Devil Hunter Sword was given away. The voice actress for the American Yohko got up on stage and held the sword up for all to see. I wanted that thing sooooooo bad (I would never have to sully my claws again with human blood!), but some chick in flip- flops and a black concert t-shirt got it. I bet the Wolfman would love to have met her.
"By the power of GraySkull, I have the POWER!" Yohko really digging the authentic devil hunter sword.
Then after the sword winner sat back down (I promised myself I'd remember where she sat so that I could find her later on-tcha) the music video contest played. The judges already chose the finalists and it was up to the crowd to choose the winners from them. There were some pretty cool ones and some average ones and one INCREDIBLE one..... But we'll get to that."
-"This page is getting huger than I thought possible, so Catsy and I'll just name the vids and tell you if they were good or not, kay?"
-"The crowd cheered for 'Tonight, Tonight', 'I'm Too
Sexy', 'Princes of the Universe', and 'UHF' the most, so the
con-people in charge of the contest gave them each prizes.
-"Man! I wanted Nuku-Nuku to win something. She deserved it."
-"Ooooooookay... Then we were witnesses to a bunch of out-takes from some Crusher Joe and You're Under Arrest dubbing sessions. They were pretty dang funny. I can't believe the potty mouths on some of those cute police gals@_@ They did me proud. Then we saw an ad for 'Bogart Hats: They don't come off until you do.' Cool! I think that's what the Rossman uses."
-"Finally, the judges came back with the winners.
They had a bunch of categories and a bunch of victors for each.
-"I think the whole audience was thinking along those lines too, Catsy. What a crock. Then the $250 Best Of Show was given to Goku and Naga... I guess.
As you can tell, folks, I started taking the pictures again after the contest.
'The Sweetest and Most Moving Performance By Somebody Who Even Knew What They Were Doing' Prize went to Sailor Jupiter. She won a bunch of Sailor Moon stuff. Lucky her."
-"Holy $#*%, It's just what I wanted!!!!!"
See his face? Her expression is ten times bigger!
-"Naga got a special 'Horny' prize by Imagawa and Zeiram got a garage kit by his creator.
Imagawa gave Naga a signed GR ArtBook if he could get a picture for the guys back home. Won't they be jealous^_^
Hopefully next year the background won't be pitch-black.
And then the judges gave
Tuxedo Kamen a special prize because 'Nobody should be screwed
by a roommate like that unless you're Jack Tripper.'
Need a drinkin' buddy?
-"After everybody had cleared out, Catsy and I found Kenji, Ginrei and Tetsegyu and we asked them why they didn't participate. Tetsegyu had to work late and apparently couldn't make it in time. Expert work seems to never end! So Catsy and I got them lined up and took their pic together. Damn, they would have won easily.
These were the best costumes there, not to mention the fact that Imagawa was a judge. Easy money.
After I ran out of film, Imagawa sensei himself asked to pose with these three! Son of a #%*$@!!!!! I knew something like that was bound to happen, but it still pisses me off!"
-"Neow. It was around 11:00pm at the time and we tried to get something to eat, but the parking lot was too full due to the hotel's bar and we never would have gotten a space when we got back. So instead we went to see what 'The Worst of Anime Videos' was in Track 3. They must've really meant 'The Worst in Anime' because it was really a Corn Pone Presentation!!! Those bastards were trying to infultrate Animazement and make it one of their s***ty shows! Bastards!!!!!"
-"I felt your pain, Catsy. Apparently the Corn Pone Otaku
(the worst kind) thought that they had to spread the evil that
is AWA as they tried to pollute other East Coast Cons that were
just starting up. The nerve!
-"Then we looked at our watches and noticed that it was time for something else that we'd been waiting for for a looooooong time. Oni-chan and I slipped out as silently as we could so that nobody actually knew that we were there in the first place (I mean, how embarrassing-tcha) and we went up to the second floor for a special screening of........."