Issue #6: Hollywood's View of Modern Man

 Hey everybody, how's it going?

 Ha ha ha ha!! Look at your sorry ass! Why are you all dressed up like that? Going pimping this evening?

 Yes, but I'm dressed like this because of today's special topic. Didn't you get the memo?

 What the hell are you talking about? You're just trying to make me feel stupid. It ain't gunna work again, you Todd! I'm more secure in myself than to fall for something that dumb.

 Mega Man is here.


 Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, look what I found in my pocket, Link. It's your memo. My bad...... you jackass.

 Let's get this thing started.

 Where the fuck's the booze?

 I can't believe I even got my "dress purples" out of storage for this. What is this worthy topic you spoke of in the honorable memo, Mario?

 Today I thought we'd talk about something very important to me. Something that's been bothering me since the early nineties. The Academy of Motion Pictures!

 Oh, I am so outta here. This is what I get up by 5p.m. for?! Lick my nutz, I'm goin' home!

 Not so fast, my delicate little dick-ass. We also have a special guest star today. Everybody, meet Mr. Mike "the Cannibal" Tyson!

 It's a pleasure to be here, Mr. Boyardee. Who do you want me to kill?!?

 How 'bout starting off with the little shit-ball in the top hat.


 Just kidding, you cum-dumpster. Ha ha ha ha. Anyway, Tyson, the reason I invited you to this movie-themed discussion is because I want you to rub out the people who vote for the Academy Awards. They fucking blow Ed Asner's saggy dong!

 Whoa! I will not condone the killing of anybody that's not Druggle or Link. Why do you want the Academy destroyed? What the hell could they have ever done to you?

 Ummmmm, I, uh had a shitload of money riding on Traffic this year for best picture. And it got snubbed! That movie was based on a cousin of mine in Central America.

 Traffic sucked ass! It was all against drugs and all!!!

 Wait! But you hated Traffic, Mario! I remember that you said that Kathy Lee had a better chance of getting into heaven than Traffic had of winning best picture.

 The jig is up!!!! Thanks, you spread-eagle slut! *Sigh*..... I guess I ought to come clean. The truth is I never really got over the Academy totally dissing The Super Mario Bros. Movie.... sons of German shit eaters.....

 Holy cheese dick! Talk about something that should have been flushed like a day after burrito! Your movie hurt me in ways I never thought possible!! I first watched it with your mother, and when she saw how crappy it was she tensed up and bit down on my penis!!! I ought to sue your ass for it!!

Hey, Tyson! The gay elf with the go-go boots on said that he grabbed your ex-wife's ass just last week.

 You sunubabitch!!! YOU SUNABABITCH!!!!


 ........Why..... Whyyyyyyy......

 Oh yeah! I also invited another special guest today. And, Link, I told him that you thought Crouching Tiger Leaping Lizards was faggier than N*Sync.

 ......... You..... Scrotum......Lickerrrrrrrrrrr.......


*Flying Kick to Head!*

 Heh heh, that movie did suck. But that bald flying dude was pretty hot.

Previous NN Topic


Go Back to the NN Main Page

This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!