Issue #30: Obama Loses the Olympics,
But Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

Yaaaay! President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize! Everything is right with the world! President Obama is a SAINT! He did SO much for world peace already in just 9 months!
Well. He. He.... He became a black president.
......You know he's only half black, right?
Lying whore! Anyway, who deserves an award for bettering the world more than President Obama? Hmmmmmm?!?!?!?!?
How about Teddy Kennedy?
Aw! That's so sweet of you! But why would you think that the late, great Teddy Theodore Kennedy deserves the Nobel more than Osama, I mean Obama? What did he do that was more important than what Obama.... Um, well, maybe did?
Teddy Kennedy actually accomplished something this past year. He rid the world of the horror that is Teddy Kennedy.
Ladies, ladies, ladies! Shut the fuck up about this politi-gobbledy gook and do something useful with your time... Like get naked.
Yeah! Wait, what's going on? Who got elected to the Nobel Prize?
Oh sweet jumpin' Jews. Please, everybody, don't let the winged wuss get involved in any kind of political debate. He knows nothing of politics and poly.....gons.
But he's from ancient Greece! The birthplace of freedom and the idea of government by the people, for the people... Didn't you ever watch 300? He's all about kicking roundtable ass and taking no names!
..........Well, I might.....
' .............
Well, go on... Tell us all of the wisdom of the ages, young Pitt!
' I can count to potato.
Oh for the love of St. Mary's horny twat!... Ladies! He comes from a culture where the men rape the boys retarded from a young age. Because his mouth is so small I'm truly concerned that he once got a cock in the brain... If you know what I mean.
That... That is so sad... But does he love President Obama or not?! THAT is the question!
' I LOVE black cock!
Oh, GREAT going, Princess. Now we've got him on the topic of black genitalia... He'll be going on and on over this for hours now.
Don't worry, Doc, I can handle this conversation. So, Kid Pitt, what was the biggest black dick you ever saw?
' Oh holy Zeus! I will never forget the sight of it till the day I die! It was so glorious! It was on your mom when she bent me over and shoved her--
*Sigh* Now we'll never know if she was clipped or not.
Oh! Ummm, Obama rules and deserves the Nobel for Peace because... Um, wait, I almost have it...
Take your time... I'm just going to go out and visit my mom.
Don't bother... She's all used up for at least a week. Trust me.

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