Issue #1: Middle East Peace

 I'd like to start off by welcoming everybody back, and to greet the newcomers to the debate forum. It's expecially nice to see another female here! Welcome, Samus. Glad you could make it.

 What the hell's that supposed to mean?

 Well, it's just nice to see another girl here. Usually the discussions go South fast and the talk always ends up on some sort of perverted pornographic topic.

 !!!! Girl?!?!!? Look, sweetums, I ain't no sissy dress wearin' flower-smellin' pussy, 'kay?! Let's just get that straight from the getgo. I have a goddamn laser surgically attached to my right arm. Is that something a GIRL would have?!

 Mega Man have gun for arm too.

 ...... No you don't! Look, right now, look! You don't have a fuckin' water gun, yet alone a semi-atomic hyper wave laser!

 Mega Man have water gu-

 Shut UP, Mega Man. Look, Samus, I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot. I just wanted to say "welcome". Okay? "Welcome to our discussion group". I was just hoping for somebody else that could relate to the same side of certain issues as me. I didn't mean to-

 Issues? "Discussion group"? What the hell?! Hey, Mario! You little greasy shitball, you said that this was going to be a "shooting accuracy obstacle course"!

 I say a lot of things.

 Take it off! Whoo hoo!!

 Hey, who let Pit into my liquor cabinet? I had a bottle of White Zin that I was saving for when Princess Zelda came over tonight.

 Dude! Dressing a hand puppet up to look like a chick you know does not constitute a "date".

 .......Even if I get to third base?

 Jeezus Keerist!

 Enough of your bickering! If I don't get to shoot something soon I'm going to... shoot something soon!

 Mega Man likes to shoot..... at Dr. Wiley and his bad robo-

 Shoot the little blue turd! Please!


 Why.............? Mega... Man.... Only.... Wanted....... To...... Loooooooove........

 I feel satiated. The carnage was enough to satisfy my need for vengeance and bloodshed.

 Yeah. Hey, Samus, would you care to join me at my place after the discussion? I have a live monkey there. If you want you can shoot him too.
Eek Eek!!

 PETA and the Humans Against Cruelty to Monkeys are all up my ass about the tiny cage that I keep him in and all. But you know, if you just want some target practice he's pretty good at throwing his feces like clay pigeons.

 Your invitation intrigues me, greasy one. I accept.

 Let's go! I can show you my assortment of vulgar Italian hand gestures while we're at it. Oh, and Link, I just wanted to rub in your face the fact that not only do I have a date with a hot lesbian cyber-punk chick tonight of whom I plan to video tape doing lewd acts with my sexy Asian bisexual neighbor, but you and your hand don't even have enough booze to get sufficiently faced to even pretend that either of you has a personality. Let's go, Samus.

 Call me "Sam".

 *Sigh*........ Maybe if I used Mega Man's carcass I could.... Hmmmmm.


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