The ROSSMAN and the Hulk
Yes. I saw
Shrek. On purpose. And I have to admit that all in
all I liked it. Yes, it is a kiddie movie. And yes, it is
a fairy
tale... But it has fart jokes too. And it has lines like "I
have to save my ass!" (in reference to a donkey, true,
but the line is in there).
Shrek is
an ogre. He's big and green and mean, but he's not caused by
gamma radiation. He was born that way. Come to think of it
though,
Shrek does have a lot in common with the Hulk. Aside from the
obvious likenesses, they're originally both hunted by the
military
and shunned by the average non-mutated public. Both are strong
for their size and relatively witty (well, at least Mr. Fix-It
was a sarcastic side of the Hulk). They both get duped into
doing things for other people because of their strength and
the ease at which they're manipulated, and both of them know
a hot chick that can turn mean and green just like them too.
That's kind of scary! It's like the Dreamworks people just
opened
up some early Hulk issues and said "Hey! That'd be a swell
idea for our kids movie with Eddie Murphy as the jackass! Now
just add some more dick jokes." And dick jokes they did
add. Quite a surprising number for a PG rated flick. Though
the little gingerbread man yelling "Eat me!" was
worth all the forced moral lessons we were made to sit through
by
story's end.
I give
Shrek 31/5 Rossman Stars of Reverence mostly because
that ogre's the coolest green person I've seen since that hot
green babe that Kirk bopped on Star Trek.
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DEV
Shrek
couldn't seem to make up its mind as to what kind of a movie
it wanted to be. It tried hard to suck at some points, while
at others it was actually funny. Yes, I Satan actually laughed
at certain parts of this film... Mostly when people died though.
I giggled when that little bird blew up too.
I am thoroughly
impressed with how far computer technology has come in recent
years. Those gay and lifeless CG animation guys have done
wonders!
The way that they can make "death by dragon" look
oh-so-delightful is quite impressive. I was really hoping for
like a big nuclear explosion or 3D rendered plague to wipe out
the entire cast in the ending credits but instead we had to
be subjected to the lesson of the day. In case you couldn't
figure it out from the commercials that show a big, ugly ogre
flirting with a dainty little pretty pretty princess, the moral
is "Death is imminent. So despair and turn evil, you humans!"
Eh, I'd give
Shrek one thumb up. It was too uplifting and had too
many songs by Smash Mouth to receive two.
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KUNI of the Hill People
What is happening,
crazy people!!!??? I saw this movie with green man and am happy!
I love the green man in movies! They are all green and normal
not green people are not!!! THAT IS CRAZY! Why is this man green
I say!! Why are you not green (are you?)!! I do not know and
that is the funny thing! I was saying to the Rossman that nobody
in the room watching the movie is that green!!! Why do they
laugh so??!!! I laugh too because he is green and because I
saw a dog take a shit (not in the movie though). It was the
super funny and then he smelled it!!!! Not the green man. That
is not why he is green!! Or maybe he is!!! Holy fuck shit I
laughed and laughed at what it was!!!
(Note
from the Rossman: I think that Kuni liked Shrek, but I can't
be sure. It's normal for him to laugh through a movie after
he sees an animal defecate.)
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