 Great Torpedo ROSSMANMany things
in this world are complete mysteries. Like, why is the sky blue?
Why do cows taste so good? Why is prostitution illegal in most
States? And, for the sake of this review, why are all teachers
such bitches and dickheads? Yeah, I've had a couple of teachers
and professors over the years that I didn't truly hate,
but they were nothing outstanding. The reason I didn't loathe
those few individuals was because they either didn't bury us
in homework every night, or, like the bouncy Ms. Trauly, they
let us take pictures of them naked while riding a horse. In
my entire 16 years of schooling I have never found a teacher
who was totally and completely and ruggedly "cool".
One who actually made me want to go to class just to hang out
with him/her. Well, not until now... And Onizuka Eikichi is
fictional.
GTO is the story of a 22 year-old
biker/slacker who never grew up. Onizuka likes to get shit
faced every night with his pals and sit under escalators every
day
in order to look up girls' skirts. He likes to beat the living
tar out of troublemakers who give him any lip and then he enjoys
going out looking for 18 year-old tail while cruising on his
hog. But one day inspiration strikes him in a grand way and
he finds a goal in life. That goal being making it as a high
school teacher and finding some cute pigtailed honey under
his
tutelage to be his wife... In case you haven't guessed, this
show is most definitely from the land of deviants, Japan.
Never before
has a show grabbed me and shaken me (like a red-headed stepchild)
as GTO has. I watched all 43 episodes of the anime in
less than a week. I just couldn't turn it off. It was hysterically
superfragalosticly funny. It kept making me wonder what kind
of kooky educational plan Onizuka was going to come up with
next. It kept me guessing as to how the Vice Principal was either
going to get smacked around or how he would plot his pitiful
revenge against the bleached Great Teacher himself. And every
new character that arrived actually added to the overall plot
of the series. It wasn't like any of those pathetic other anime
and manga out there that just throws in a new cast member for
the old ones to interact with when the ideas run low. The overall
feel of GTO in that sense is relative to Urusei Yatsura.
By the end of its run it's got an extremely large cast, but
each and every one of them feels like a member of your family...
that is if you have an enormous and dysfunctional family.
If I ever
find that I have no career paths open to me in the near (or
far) future I plan to follow my new idol, Onizuka's, example.
I'll become a teacher, beat the crap out of my trouble making
students, hit on my cute female coworkers (who will all fall
desperately in love with me no matter how hard they deny it),
blow up my boss' luxury car a few times, and help the rowdy
bastards in my class see the error of their ways by pushing
them off of bridges, buildings and driving them off of unfinished
overpasses on my motorcycle. Watch out! Great Teacher
Rossman is about to be born!!!
What did
I think of GTO? In the end I find that I must
give it a 98% out of 100% of Rossman Satisfaction Points. If
only it had done the extra credit, it may have gotten a perfect
score. The only problem that I had with it was that it was too
short. I needed more Onizuka-sensei and a lot more Kanzaki Urumi.
She friggin' ruled!
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