Issue #4: Social Reform

 What is "social reform"?

 Was that a rhetorical question or are you just stupid?

 Who gives a rat's ass! The sunshine is blue and the birds are blooming! It's a wonderful day!

 What are you so happy about?

 Heh heh... Nothin', sweetums. Just somethin' that I've been waiting a looooong time for finally came in the mail today.

 You sonuvabitch! You're not using another supplier are you?! I told you that the problem we had earlier would never happen again. Simply by neutering Mega Man I've curbed his taste for the finer narcotics that Colombia has to offer. He will snort no more.

 No, not that. I just got a little bit of blackmail material in my possession that will help my wildest fantasy come true!

 Not to worry, gents... and Samus. I couldn't care less what any of you guys did in the past. There's only one person that I'd go through this much trouble to dig something painful up on. And her name is Princess Toadstool!!!

(Ominous music) *Dah Dah Daaaaaaaah*

 No!!! Nooooo!!! Lies!!! All of it, LIE-..... Wait a minute, Druggle. I'm cleaner than Link's underwear.... and that's only cause he never wears any. There's no way in hell that you could have found anything bad on me.

 Bwa ha ha ha!!! That'll just make it all the more sweeter when the bomb drops, Shnookums. Hmmm, to make this more interesting I think I'll drop you a hint as to what it is that's in the magic envelop.
I'm tellin' ya, Mario, it's easily enough to sleaze my way into her panties!

 Ooooooooooooo, do tell. I've only seen them by sneaking into her apartment during the day when she's off visiting the far reaches of her kingdom. Her roommate and I usually spend a good 4-5 hours just sniffing away! The ones in her hamper are always the best!!

 Uuuuuuuuuuh, right, Champ. I'll let you know.
Anyway, Princess Pie, the magic hint is "Pre-surgery".

 ............. How in the name of St. Jebediah did you find out about that?!?!?

 Ooooooooooh, ready to talk now, eh? Let's start the blackmailing off at one full night in the sack with a total of at least 6 boinks, 7 if I'm feelin' frisky, and a kinky new age shower together in the morning.

 No. Now that I've regained myself I will not bow to your horrendous demands. Thinking back, it couldn't have been all that bad. You're bluffing!

 Am I? Heh heh.... It's obviously been so long ago that you don't even remember why you had the operation in the first place. Submit to my demands, Sucky-lips, or the pics go public!!

 Doc, what's he talking about?

 I don't know, but I hope he shows me later. These have got to be some steamy pictures.

 Well, I've probably seen them already then.

 Why, were they in a gay porn magazine?


 Quiet, you jackasses! I have to think here...... Okay, Mr. Pig-fucker, can I at least see the picture if you're that confident in it's persuasiveness? Either put up or shut up.

 Nope nope nope... It'll be a bigger pay off this way. So, what's it gunna be, chickie? Yes or no? You've got 3 seconds.


 He's bluffing.... I know he's bluffing.... He's got to be bluffing!!!


 ONE! It's show time, you assfucks. Line up to check out the pretty Princess picture of before she had the operation to fix the Down Syndrome she had as a child!!


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This Page is a copyrighted Rossman Production. Though, of course, NONE of the characters are belong to him. They are all the property of the rich and powerful Japanese Yakuza (known as Nintendo Corporation), and neither the Yakuza nor the big N support this page or probably even want it up. The opinions on this page are not necessarily the Rossman's either (and they sure as hell ain't Nintendo's). He did create all of the graphics from memory and scratch and he is using them in a purely "satire-rific" manner, in order to be funny and make people laugh. So LAUGH, damn you!