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Ideally, we, as human
beings, would get smarter, stronger, more imaginative and more
free thinking the older that we get. Instead we get duller,
lazier, and more like a cog in the boring and broken down machine
known as life. To quote Cliff Clavin, "What's up with that?"
Sure there are still a few adults today with the minds of children,
but they turn out to be gay children's show hosts, or mentally
mongoloid. Or both. In which case we can't tap their minds to
find out how to be free of the shackles of drab grown-up living.
So sad.
Sometimes childhood
can be so traumatic to certain kids that it causes them to lash
out in the form of deluded fictional reality worlds in which
they are kings/queens. The recent trend that I've noticed it
children wanting to kill evil parents with Harry Potter-like
mad magician skillz. The only cure that I've found is to drop
a car on them and tell them that Ron and Harry must have lost
their magical powers while flying to Hogwarts because they had
the magic AIDs in them. That usually shuts the retard muggles
up. |
As an experimental experiment I recently tried to find some
of my lost imagination from years gone by. I spent an entire
weekend reading old Spider-Man and X-Men comic
books, playing with whatever GI Joe toys I didn't hawk off for
booze money in college, looking through the women's underwear
section of the 1987 Sears Summer catalog, and attempting to
remember where the fuck the final dungeon was in the second
quest in Zelda. Well, the comic books got boring fast
(it amazed me to see just how completely repetitive they all
were and how none of the female characters got naked). The GI
Joes were still cool, but I didn't know how to get them into
a battle-filled storyline that didn't involve Flint trying to
seduce the lady Joes, the Baroness and Tomax and Xamot (who
were the closest he was able to get anyone into the sack, FYI).
The Sears catalog was still pretty provocative in this day and
age, but when compared to the internet (where a boy can find
over 2,000 images in less than 5 seconds of women sucking off
kangaroos while cats with strap-ons shag them from the rear)
it just ain't enough to do anything for me anymore. Honestly,
now I need at least one form of hardcore lesbian action (involving
no less than 6 women) to get even slightly aroused. I did remember
where the final Ganon dungeon was in Zelda and I kicked
the dark prince's pig ass back to the Golden Land, but without
the use of realistic 3D polygon-graphics depicting severed limbs
and gallons of blood drowning out my TV screen, well... 8-bit
Link just doesn't do it for me anymore either... But not in
a sexual way. Those tights are still ass perfect.
I guess that
I blame society for my woes. You see, back in the old days,
like King Arthur's time, kids only had a few board games and
Slinkies to play with and they spent most of their time praying
to a loveless god to spare them from the black death. That went
on for generations. Now, every 6 months to a year toys and the
availability of pornography evolve exponentially. In no time
will we see the advent of soldier action figures that fight
the bad guys themselves, without the aid of children, and then
hit the local whore houses for some much needed R&R (the
whore houses coming equipped with a life-sized blow up doll
of Bangkok Betty with kung-fu grip and "sucky sucky"
lifelike squishy sounds... God how I want to be a toymaker!!!).
Is this a bad thing though?
Continue
on to Page Two
to see if this is a bad thing > |
