  | 
        
         Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Nothin' like a cold one. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Hey, Druggle, is that the mug I had Bowser piss in for his drug
        test? I had to put it in the fridge so that it didn't stink up
        the place. It's like he only eats asparagus and shit! Jeezus
        it reeked! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Bwa ha ha ha!!! You're not getting me this time! I'm sick of
        your little jokes especially when they involve beer!! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Uhhh, whatever. But Bowser's gunna go postal when he finds out
        that he has to go another 4 months without Extacy so he can pass
        the test and get that job sniffing Goombas on the docks. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        !!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???!?!?!?! GODDAMMIT!!! WHERE'S MY FUCKIN'
        JAR OF LIZARD JUICE I MADE???!?!?!?! IF SOMEBODY FUCKED WITH
        IT I'LL DRIVE OVER HIS SACK WITH MY '67 PINTO TILL HE FUCKIN'
        DIES!!!!! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        ...........oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Oh don't worry about it, man. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        W-w-w-w-w-why?..... Do you think he really won't use my testes
        for a driveway when he finds out? |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Hell yeah he will! But we can always just blame the gay elf. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        What was that?! Blame me for what? I didn't do jack shit this
        time and I can prove it! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        You can prove it? What, were you video taping yourself trying
        to screw a mannequin with a picture of Toadstool glued to its
        head again? |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        NO! Uh, I mean I was using a picture of Druggle's mom! Yeah,
        that's it! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Shit, dude, you're fucked up! I don't have a mom. We from the
        bubble kingdom reproduce asexually...... So you're saying that
        you were in fact using a picture of my DAD to whack off to?...
        You got problems, boy. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        I....mean....jizz.... licker... bastards. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Oh man, we are so gunna tell Bowser that you drank his pee thinking
        it was beer! He's gunna eat your nads man! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        There's no way I would have drinken anything I thought was beer!
        And I can prove it without using the tape I made. It all goes
        back to that time that I got lost in that forest in Hyrule. It
        was there that I met that nice old man.... |  
      
      
        
        *FLASHBACK* 
          | 
         
      
      
        
          | 
        
        ...WHOA! Time out! Dude, what the hell is up with telling us
        that story? Fuckin' perv. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Hold on, I want to hear how this turns out. Proceed. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        So anyway I kept walking around and soon enough I was lost again,
        but this time I was in this creepy underground cave! It was all
        dark and eerie and I don't mind telling you that I was a little
        shaken up.... |  
      
      
        
        *FLASHBACK* 
          | 
         
      
      
        
        "But then I saw a literal light at the end of the tunnel!" 
          | 
         
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Ooooookay. This is getting to be even too messed up for me. So
        you're saying that deep in an underground labyrinth the same
        old man came back and offered you a BJ for $10? |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Man, that's dirt fuckin' cheap! Where the hell'd you say you
        saw that guy? |  
      
      
        
        *FLASHBACK* 
        "But there's MORE! After a few hours I decided
        to try and find my way to the world above again. Eventually I
        came out into some weird clearing where a boy was playing a flute
        on a tree stump with lots of animals around him. I tried to approach
        the healthy looking lad but he vanished in front of my eyes!
        So then I just went looking for the old man again and luckily
        found him in another cave nearby." 
          | 
         
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Let me give you some advice: Whenever the old man gives you an
        option, always go for the most expensive treatment. It
        is soooooooo worth it. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        You sick sonofabitch! I heard the whole thing! Just wait till
        I tell Zelda when I call her tonight! You are the world's biggest
        flaming pervert!!!! PERVERT!!! |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        .......... I know........ |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Heh heh! So, Doc, should we still turn him in to the big bad
        lizard? I'd sure like to see him get squashed like a bug and
        all. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Oh, there's no need for that. I already put the big lug to sleep
        like a naughty puppy. I was planning to just take his money and
        not perform the urine test from the beginning. Plus I made up
        the job that he applied for too. |  
      
      
        
          | 
        
        Fuckin bastard still owed me a pack of Cubans.... I think I need
        a beer. |