|
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
COUGH!!!! COUGH!!!! Oh hell, where the blazes
am I? What's goin' on?! |
|
Well, sugarlips, you were about to unwrap your Christmas
present for me and stuff it down my stocking. |
|
Jesus Christ, woman! Don't you ever rest?!
I think that we were about to have our annual Christmas Party.
The whole Ataritor crew and all. Though I do get confused easily,
so we might just be trying to kill that gay orange phallic symbol,
Q-Bert, with a well placed plunger again for all I know. |
|
Fuck you, you bicycle pump loving fag! At least I have
a schlong to get frisky with! |
|
|
Buddy, you're ALL schlong! Lord all mighty. When you sneeze
you blow your load!! If you have a runny nose you might knock
up any girl passing by! A nose plug is a condom to you!! Sodomizing
bastard. |
|
*Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* Quit
your bitchin', people.... and orange puds. We have work to do.
We still need stocking stuffers, mistletoe, an angel for the
tree, and a yule log. Now, since Q-Bert is a log, we can
just use him for that last one. |
|
Har har har har-de-har har!! You jest in such an amusing
manner, compatriot Yar. You zing-eth with the best of them. If
Lord Q-Bert were not all penis and scrotum, and did indeed had-eth
an asshole, you surely would have torn him a new one. |
|
So, ummmm, being Australian and all and not knowing a thing
about this pagan holiday called "Christmas", forgive
me for asking, but when does that blood-sucking demon named Satan
show up and start the carnage? |
|
Holy crap! Who the fuck invited Kangaroo?!
First of all, 'Roo, forgive me for asking, but why the
hell would a loser like you from a second rate Donkey Kong
rip-off game actually think that he was invited to such a swinging
shindig such as the Ataritor Annual Christmas Party? You need
a special gold foiled invitation to even be let in the door!....
What the?!?!.... Who the monkeyshit gave you one?! |
|
|
Those little alien children did. I promised them I'd make
them a pony if they invited me. Then I let them ride in my pouch.
When they got out they were all gooey. It was disgusting for
them, but I needed to be cleaned out anyway. So it was a win
win thing for me. Plus I got them to touch me. |
|
*Beep*
He made us touch him!!! |
|
*Bloop*
He used us indecently!!! Like Whoopie Goldberg uses her complimentary
Hollywood Squares pen when she's lonely!! |
|
*Blorp!*
I liked it... |
|
|
Aye caramba!!! Combat, blow that homo-marsupial's head
off!! |
|
Roger, Harry!
*KA-BOOOOOOOOM!* |
|
But..... I..... Have....... Ticket.........
Ugh!......................................................................... |
|
|
*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*
COUGH!!!! COUGH!!!! What the hell was that noise?!
Did I just shit my Depends again?! |
|
|
Let me check.
*SNIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!*
Ahhhhhhh!! Nope, still clean as yesterday's breeze. |
|
|
*Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* After
that "bang" I think that Frygar might be the only one
without soiled undies, but that's beside the point right now.
We need horsey devors and milk and cookies ASAP! Otherwise who
wants to explain to the gay little molested alien youth over
there that the reason Santa won't be coming is because we were
too damn busy killing and crapping to remember what the true
meaning of Christmas is all about. |
|
|
You mean killing? |
|
|
*Sniff* Ew! Or crapping? |
|
|
It's okay, everyone. No need to worry about those Close
Encounter rejects and their fragile faith in a giant bearded
elf. I took care of it already. |
|
|
*Bzzzzzzzz* You bastard!! You told them the
truth about Kris Kringle?! That's half the fun of growing up
and trying to track his fat ass down to rob his crib in the middle
of summer when he least expects it!! |
|
|
Well yeah, I told them, but then I killed them and snorted
them. Turns out they were made up entirely of "space cocaine".
Kind of ironic, ain't it. |
